The wrong mindset about spinning plates

[JonnyD123]

It's preached on here religiously. Date multiple women. For the longest time I admired guys who were able to do that. I then adopted the lifestyle, and for the most part I would say it worked flawlessly.

Then, something changed.

I started attracting higher quality women. I exceeded expectations never thought possible. I plowed through the better part of my 20's like a sex starved werewolf. With that though, I realized it was harder to let some of these women go. Every new bond with these great, attractive women, there was still a part of me saying "stick with her." The better part would eventually let them go and then on to the next.

I've now come to the realization that I've let A LOT of high quality, marriage material women go. So please, enlighten me on the end game of this? What is the goal? I now feel for every girl I slam with no fragmentary intentions, I carve out a little bit of my soul.

 

[Misrah]

Make a list. On one side- you have things that you absolutely NEED to have in a girlfriend. Then, make another. That is the red flag department. What will you simply not tolerate from a girl? After those two- make a 'bonus list' where you list qualities that are not necessary for her to have, but you still find desirable. Keep dating, and compare each girl to this list. The lists could change through time / women- but once you find a girl that hits all of your needs, avoids all of your red flags, and has most of your bonus list- I would stick with her for awhile

 

[Ronaldo7]

It's preached on here religiously. Date multiple women. For the longest time I admired guys who were able to do that. I then adopted the lifestyle, and for the most part I would say it worked flawlessly.

Then, something changed.

I started attracting higher quality women. I exceeded expectations never thought possible. I plowed through the better part of my 20's like a sex starved werewolf. With that though, I realized it was harder to let some of these women go. Every new bond with these great, attractive women, there was still a part of me saying "stick with her." The better part would eventually let them go and then on to the next.

I've now come to the realization that I've let A LOT of high quality, marriage material women go. So please, enlighten me on the end game of this? What is the goal? I now feel for every girl I slam with no fragmentary intentions, I carve out a little bit of my soul.

I often feel the same way.

However, you must always think rationally. If you involve even an ounce of emotion, it will start affecting your mindset.

I only think of banging them, that's it. I have to keep thinking that constantly, otherwise feelings can creep in and turn the tables on her favor.

I've always thought to only settle down with a woman who can be/will be a good mother, not a good wife.

It's funny. Even with the higher quality women, one feels grossed out and disgusted with them after banging them. I've come to the conclusion that, no matter how hot they are, you'll end up getting bored after banging them twice.

As for the end game, what are you looking for?

 

[amazingswayze]

you're just fuking for the fuk of it. if you have other goals, adjust your game accordingly.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Women are at their best when the "relationship" is uncertain.

Also, you have to know what you're looking for. If you WANT marriage material, you need to know when you find it. EVERY SINGLE TIME you disqualify a woman, you should ADD to your own PERSONAL, subjective HIGH QUALITY WOMAN criteria list. Then becoming exclusive when you find her. Otherwise you'll never know if you should keep looking for not.

Dating multiple women at once isn't for everybody all the time. It's excellent for significantly increase your value, so long as you keep dating higher quality women. But you need to decide on your own end point.

 

[zekko]

I think it's important for younger guys especially to gain experience by spinning plates, or as we used to say more diplomatically in my day, "dating around".

But that doesn't mean you must spin plates your entire life to the grave, and never enter into any relationship with a woman. That would be a pretty limited life, IMO. It might be okay for some guys. And I wouldn't advise getting married.

But one reason to spin plates is to find a girl who is suitable for a LTR, and to learn what qualities such a girl would have.

I don't agree with guys here who think you should never have any feelings for any girl, ever. You might as well be a robot. What's important is that you can keep control over those emotions and retain your logic in the face of them.

 

[dustmuffin]

I think it's important for younger guys especially to gain experience by spinning plates, or as we used to say more diplomatically in my day, "dating around".

But that doesn't mean you must spin plates your entire life to the grave, and never enter into any relationship with a woman. That would be a pretty limited life, IMO. It might be okay for some guys. And I wouldn't advise getting married.

But one reason to spin plates is to find a girl who is suitable for a LTR, and to learn what qualities such a girl would have.

I don't agree with guys here who think you should never have any feelings for any girl, ever. You might as well be a robot. What's important is that you can keep control over those emotions and retain your logigettc in the face of them.

Getting emotionally involved will be your downfall.

 

[speed dawg]

It's preached on here religiously. Date multiple women. For the longest time I admired guys who were able to do that. I then adopted the lifestyle, and for the most part I would say it worked flawlessly.

Then, something changed.

I started attracting higher quality women. I exceeded expectations never thought possible. I plowed through the better part of my 20's like a sex starved werewolf. With that though, I realized it was harder to let some of these women go. Every new bond with these great, attractive women, there was still a part of me saying "stick with her." The better part would eventually let them go and then on to the next.

I've now come to the realization that I've let A LOT of high quality, marriage material women go. So please, enlighten me on the end game of this? What is the goal? I now feel for every girl I slam with no fragmentary intentions, I carve out a little bit of my soul.

I question who is letting who go in your relationships.

In my experience, girls who are into you make it VERY hard for you to 'let them go'. And, if you are attracted to them in any way, you'll give them enough attention to where they don't get the message. So, either you are simply unattracted to these women (thus there is no future anyway), or they are leaving you.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

****ing without feelings is just wanking. Affection, joy, love, are all wonderful and they are what make life a pleasure. Don't let them ruin your frame or cause oneitis though. Don't fool yourself into think caring is weakness either IMVHO.