The Worst thing I could do

[B-Real]

I have a question concerning an old oneitis case. I'm over the girl to the extent where I don't call her anymore, she calls me. I can except the idea of us being friends, but everytime we talk on the phone, she mentions some other guy's name. Or for instance last night she admitted to making out with her boss.

She still thinks I have a flame burning for her (really I guess I do I'm not gonna lie) but I wanna show her that I don't. She has a facebook and HER LIFE RELIES SOLELY ON THIS and of course she has all these pics up of guys and stuff. This way it is known to everyone that she can get guys left and right. But I don't have a facebook and do not want one.

My question is: How/what can I do to show her that I don't care for her anymore and that she's lost her opportunity with me? I know for a fact that she tries to control me and lead me along on her leash. How do I break free from this and make it known to her? Would breaking off all contact be the answer? How bout telling her I got a gf?

Thanks in advance

 

[wjh]

Why subject yourself to playing games?

Find other girls. You're not over her. You need a LOT of distance from her and success with other girls before even attempting to legitimately be "friends" with her. Without distance you'll just continue to fall into this ego-validation trap she has you in. You clearly don't have the perspective or experience to treat her the way she needs to be treated.

An old oneitis from your AFC days, for all practical purposes, is cancerous. They stunt your growth primarily because they've seen you for who you were in your weaker days. Sure, a few years later after not seeing you for a while you may be able to game her, but if you take the appropriate steps toward growth and "positive masculinity" (as rollo calls it), you won't even care anymore. This will all seem like child's play to you.

So I encourage you to forget about her and find other girls while working on the things that are most important to you like your career/school/hobbies.

 

[Rounder]

You have to forget about this girl. Seriously.

You want to show her you don't care? Just move on and don't look back. You don't need a FB page for that. Cut all contact. Ignore her calls. Don't talk to people that know her and if you do, don't talk about her. If they bring her up, change the subject, don't get emotional about her in front of anyone - and that means any emotion, good or bad.

If she sees you and confronts you about not taking her calls - politely tell her she isn't part of your life anymore and you don't desire any sort of relationship with her, friends or otherwise.

And I agree with WJH - you clearly are not over her and she will hinder your growth.

Above all else - start talking to other women - and not just 1 either - don't let your "heart" get involved. Let your brain and your penis lead the way for a while.

 

[B-Real]

Guys I really appreciate your advice. I'm so glad that I can ask a question and people not ridicule or make fun of me. So just to sum up what all three of you said. I should break of complete contact with her? Even if she calls and leaves messages about how much she loves me and has made an honest mistake? If this is what your implying I will go through with this because I have nothin more to do. Do I need to tell her "I'm not talking to you anymore" or do I just leave it be how our last conversation went? Should I tell her I'm involved in someone else? Thanks

 

[CFERD]

To sum it up, forget about this girl. Start talking to many new women. Stop feeding her ego. Don't return her calls. Your still not over this girl because you haven't gone complete N/C. The best way to forget/get over a girl is to start meeting new ones. The worst thing you could do is to use techniques and tricks to come across as not caring. But you do, so it will only hurt you in the end. Follow the advice given by the other three posters and in a few months, maybe even weeks you'll find that you truly are indifferent about this former oneitis. I've been there, and I know how they can suck the life right out of you. There are so many women out there, go get some!