The Worst Question You Can Ask of Be Asked in a Dating Situation

[Wyldfire]

How many times have you asked a woman "What are you looking for in a guy?" How many times have women asked you "What are you looking for in a girl?"

Break out of the habit of asking and answering this question...it is bad news and a real time waster.

Everyone wants to put their best foot forward in a new relationship...and they are full of hope that this person is "the one". If you tell a woman exactly what traits you are looking for in a woman she will miraculously exhibit all of those traits. You are thinking you have REALLY hit pay dirt with this one. She is likely thinking the same thing about you. Everything goes along find for awhile...and you are both working really hard to keep exhibiting all those traits the other person is looking for.

As time wears on you both get comfortable and forget that you were pretending to be all each other is looking for. Then it happens...you notice that the other person has "changed" and you're left feeling kinda dumbfounded. How could this happen? You were perfect for each other and the whole world was gumdrops and lollipops...so you try to figure out what went wrong for awhile...and eventually someone becomes really unhappy and disgusted with the situation and breaks it off.

This is why you must NEVER answer this diabolical question. It wastes your time, builds up your hopes and leads you to convince yourself that you have found your "ideal" mate. When it all comes crumbling down when everyone stops pretending to be someone they aren't it can leave you really devastated because you got so attached to the IDEA of your perfect relationship and mate...you think you have lost everything that is holy.

The fact is...the only thing you really lost is one big disappointing charade. This is why it is VERY important not to ever ask or answer this question. Then both you and the woman will not pretend to be someone they aren't. You will see the real person and will be much more likely to actually end up with someone who really IS a genuinely good match for you.

 

[Ll Principe]

Very good REASONING behind your explanation...

However, Id like to also point out that its not such a big issue if you TAKE your REASONING and actually EXPRESS what you have just said?

Me: "What do you look for in a guy"

Her: Kind, Caring, Badboy, Romantic

Me: Okay very nice, blah blah... (Go home , next day- I think and try to emaluate what she wants etc.. than she thinks ahh he is EVERYTHING i wanted)

This reasoning is great , you have established a problem however try this ..

Me: "What do you look for in a girl, Im not asking you "what you want in a guy" im asking you "what you look for" and bear in mind Im not going to change for the sake of it, I wont be all the things you mentioned...

Her: Oh ok (expectations are now LOWER) "Kind, caring, badboy, romantic"

Me: "Okay kewl, now let me just reitterate the fact that Im not going to now go home and tommorw try be ALL those things, over time you will have to find out who I am and what Im about..."

 

[Bonhomme]

If I were asked that question, it's unlikely I'd be able to resist making a total laugh of it by reciting an absolutely ridiculous list of precise qualifications...

 

[DJDamage]

In this situation its a perfect timing to use your C&F. Using C&F will get you more info on her then you would with a stright answer (if she laughs you already won half the battle)

Her: "What are you looking for in a girl?"

Me: "Someone who can open a beer bottle with her teeths and a hump. Also she got to be cross eyed"

Her: LOL

 

[Wyldfire]

Yes, you can make a playful joke out of the question...just as long as you don't answer it. Just following this one simple rule will save you a tremendous amount of wasted time.

 

[~attrACTION~]

^ I have a question though. On these online profile sites, they ask you exactly this question, like "what kind of person would you like to meet?"

How do you answer that?

 

[Crank_It_Up]

a member of Mensa with more money than Bill Gates and looks that kill... why lie?

 

[Wyldfire]

^ I have a question though. On these online profile sites, they ask you exactly this question, like "what kind of person would you like to meet?"

How do you answer that?

You just say "I'm not going to answer this question because traits I like in some people I don't always like in all people...it's a combination of different things every time and to try to label it would be misleading. I'll know what I like when I see it..."

When they ask you to describe yourself be funny and don't answer anything too directly. I remember using a site called matchmaker.com ages ago and one of the questions was "What is hiding underneath your bed?" and one guy who wrote to me answered "The last person who asked me that question."
All of his questions were answered sarcastically and I thought it was hilarious because I'm also sarcastic and appreciate that kind of humor. You want to let your personality show in your profile and if you are sarcastic that's a good way to answer those questions because women with the same sense of humor (good for compatibility) will like your profile.

 

[Crazy Asian]

ooo i have a good response to that. say the girl's name is Emily.

Emily: so what do you look for in a girl?
you: looks, personality, and most importantly her name cannot be Emily (HUGE grin)

 

[Wyldfire]

ooo i have a good response to that. say the girl's name is Emily.

Emily: so what do you look for in a girl?
you: looks, personality, and most importantly her name cannot be Emily (HUGE grin)

Yep...it's really good to be creative...and it's a really good way to avoid people who are fakes or phony and just try to be whatever they think will impress you.

 

[STR8UP]

If she's a blonde, I prefer brunettes. If she's a brunette with small breasts, I prefer larger breasts. If she's a brunette with a great rack and can string two sentences together....I think I might ask her to marry me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good stuff. Guy's who ask a woman this typically aren't qualifying women, they are finding out what she (supposedly) likes in order to become that type of man. Why not put some effort in finding a woman who likes the way you are. Well, of course there has to be something there to like.

But when I'm asked this question a red flag comes up and I automatically answer with "I'm somewhat flexible, what do you have to offer?" Why shouldn't she qualify herself? Fair is fair, right? Although, maybe I should use that like that David D'Angelo said, "I want a woman with a lot of money so that I can marry her, divorce her and then take half her money." Nah, not quite me.

 

[Wyldfire]

Yep...this information should be used two ways...first to avoid the chance of a woman portraying herself as something she isn't, and second...preventing YOURSELF from changing who you are to try to suit her. Using this very simple rule and always applying it will also go a long way in helping to avoid severe oneitis. You will be less likely to view a woman as your "ideal" mate if you don't give her an opportunity to fake being that ideal. You can't fake it either...because if you do she will just end up dumping you later when you relax, get attached and stop portraying yourself as her ideal mate.

 

[Ll Principe]

So in future when asked the question...

Her: "What are you looking for in a girl?"

Me: " Sex and Money - If a girl can give me those she has a great chance of being a winner."

 

[penkitten]

"I'm somewhat flexible, what do you have to offer?"

this was so funny and so great... my soda came out my nose and i now have to wash the screen off...

 

[PeeGee]

You can answer it honestly and not end up alienating your date you know.

However Wyldfire is pretty correct. It goes along with the 'don't reveal too much about yourself lest you ruin the mystery' argument.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

this was so funny and so great... my soda came out my nose and i now have to wash the screen off...

Did you make such an impression when you first met Gio?