The world being a mirror

[randomshinichi]

Ever heard this one? That the world is simply a reflection of your attitude towards it?

I've been reading a few dating advice books aimed at women. It's been very insightful. Some of the stuff they're being fed is just plain wrong (The Rules), and other stuff is the basics (Make Every Man Want You), but one thing's for sure - most females are just as clueless as to how to get a guy as most chumps on this board. The Game that we play, but as played by females is taught in The Rules.

You find that both sides have very much in common. Neediness is shunned by both sides. That's the biggest example I can think off the top of my head. Nevertheless, it wasn't until I read the Men are from Mars book that it all came together and made sense.

Treat a woman like a woman - and she will treat you like a woman.
Treat a woman like a man - and she will treat you like a man.

We don't need to be told to bust our guy friends' balls, to have fun while hanging out and just shooting the breeze. But that's what dates are for - to show her your fun side, but a lot of guys just don't get it. They ask for formulas on what to do/say during a date.

Spill your heart to her one time too many and let her spill her heart to you, and you end up on the friends ladder, the AFC basket. Tease her like you do with your guy friends, and she thinks you're hot ****. She treats you like a man because you've demonstrated that you ARE a man, and she respects men.

This way of thinking invariably leads to the types of bitter arguments between married couples which litter the Mars Venus book. But that is outside the scope of this post. Go read the book if you've relied on this rule to build initial attraction, because you might need its points if you want a relationship to last.

 

[No Girls 4 U]

As an addendum to that: most girls I know have expressed how much they HATE hanging out with other females, or how limited their circle of female friends is. Therefore, it stands to reason that she would NOT, in any way, want to date a guy who acts like one.

 

[randomshinichi]

A clarification: what I said can be easily misconstrued. I don't mean really treating her like a man. I meant - being at ease around her, as if she was a man. It's hard to describe really. One of the great benefits of reading dating advice for women is that you realize they're a lot like us. Their problems/insecurities are a lot like ours. It stands to reason therefore that it is only natural to treat women like people, instead of a mysterious species that talks a different language. Once you do that, you've made them "special", they're now on a pedestal. Or on the other side of the fence.

When you're at ease, as No Girls 4 U pointed out in another thread, ****y and funny naturally comes out. That's because ****y and funny is basically busting your friends' balls applied to women. You don't keep worrying about whether what you say will hurt your male friends, or what will that make them think about you (if you do you have issues). But of course we worry when it comes to girls. Then they think we have issues, because we always second guess our words in front of them. After all it is natural to assume that if you act that way in front of them, you also act that way in front of other men (see 1st paragraph). They assume this subconsciously, even when they themselves think of us as a different species consciously, and complain about men incessantly among themselves. That is because treating men and women the same way is the natural way of things.

There are differences of course. Actually I shouldn't have to list out all the differences, because you should already be able to figure it out on your own, even if you are socially inept.