The woman's mind in a conversation

[Maxtro]

I don't know if this is wrong but I can't stop wondering about what the girls are thinking when guys are talking to them. Do they realize that the guy they are talking to might be interested in her? Or do girls know right away when a guy is interested and she plays along until he makes a move?

I'm really curious about this because there are a few girls that I regularly talk with during my classes. Most people don't talk to people in class unless they are friends with each other. So does a little light bulb go off in her head when a guy whom she has never met before this semester begins to and talks to her on a regular basis? I wonder if she is even thinking that this guy might be different from the rest.

Or when the interaction is over and we part ways do girls have any thoughts about the guy she was walking and talking with?

 

[Tenzen]

u should ask a girl these questions... From what i've heard girls don't know when they are flirting.

 

[Maxtro]

I've often wondered if I should ask these questions to a girl. But I'm afraid they will think I'm totally weired. Well they might be safe questions to ask somebody who has friendzoned me but I'm not friends with any girls at the moment.

Any of the girls that lurk these forums want to answer?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I've often wondered if I should ask these questions to a girl. But I'm afraid they will think I'm totally weired. Well they might be safe questions to ask somebody who has friendzoned me but I'm not friends with any girls at the moment.

Any of the girls that lurk these forums want to answer?

Here's a question for you, how would a girl know that you are interested in her without letting her know?

 

[Bvbidd]

If your talking to her she knows your interested. What is she thinking? I'll tell you. She's sizing you up. Checking you out. Are you funny? Are you fun? Are you hot? Do you have lots of friends? Are you high up on the social ladder? etc etc

The do this with every guy that talks to them. Remember to a girl, the guy she is with is supposed to describe her in her little mind.

 

[2_intense2]

Any of the girls that lurk these forums want to answer?

I'll try..( the word lurking, sounds kind of creepy..lol.but ok)

what the girls are thinking when guys are talking to them.

When a guy speaks to me,am not actually thinking much I'm actually looking at
-his body language (insecure, nervous, ****y, **Funny (guys that can make me smile or laugh always get my attention)
-the way he is dress ( says alot about your personality, I know I have a friend who checks to see if the guy has clean shoes and if he doesn't she automatically dismisses him)
-the way he speaks

**first impression is everything; from the time her eyes sees you she is already asking herself if you are worth talking to (Harsh but true)

wonder if she is even thinking that this guy might be different from the rest.

sorry to say this but all guys are the same until they PROVE to be other wise.

we part ways do girls have any thoughts about the guy she was walking and talking with?

usually we play back the interaction in our head what was said, what the guy did wrong, what we did wrong .and LASTLY we tell our friend every detail and hear what our friend thinks.

 

[Bvbidd]

See I told you. I know what I'm talking about.

 

[sexybeast]

I usaully assume girls are thinkng along the lines of "I'm so pleased this guy approached me, thank you".

sorry to say this but all guys are the same until they PROVE to be other wise.

All guys are the same as in??

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

I don't know if this is wrong but I can't stop wondering about what the girls are thinking when guys are talking to them. Do they realize that the guy they are talking to might be interested in her? Or do girls know right away when a guy is interested and she plays along until he makes a move?

What am I thinking about while talking to a guy? I'm thinking about the conversation and the topic at hand.

I'm really curious about this because there are a few girls that I regularly talk with during my classes. Most people don't talk to people in class unless they are friends with each other. So does a little light bulb go off in her head when a guy whom she has never met before this semester begins to and talks to her on a regular basis?

To me, conversation is NOT flirting. If you're being sexual or touching each other, that would be flirting, but basic conversation is NOT. I'll talk to anybody who's interesting enough, guys or girls. If a guy talks to me in class, I'll talk to him, but nothing will come of it, and if he gets too friendly, I tell him.

Look, here's my basic understanding: men interact through actions and events, whereas women interact through conversation. I grew up with brothers and saw them play video games with their friends for hours; they'd never say a word to each other, but to them that was interaction and bonding. When I hang out with my girlfriends, we spend most of the time talking. Sometimes an activity will be involved, but even then it'll be accompanied by a lot of talking.

So when a man has a conversation with a woman, he views that as flirting because he doesn't typically have those types of interactions with men. When a woman talks to a man, it doesn't constitute as flirting because it's the same interaction she has with other women.

 

[tsmith2334]

usually we play back the interaction in our head what was said, what the guy did wrong, what we did wrong .and LASTLY we tell our friend every detail and hear what our friend thinks.

Ahhh, that's good to know! Now, I have a question. Say you went on a date, and it went alright. You had a good time and the guy was cool, but there was highs and lows. What are you more likely to remember and care about, the highs or the lows?

 

[smooth guy]

Not all women are thinking the same when you approach/talk to them. There's your proof above, two women with different personalities and maturities give different kinds of responses.
It depends on the girl's personality. I talked to different girls about this and some claimed that they can tell when a guy is hitting them, others just didn't think much of the interaction... they just flew with it without much thought.
I think it depends on you and how you talk to them if they'll know or not.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What am I thinking about while talking to a guy? I'm thinking about the conversation and the topic at hand.



To me, conversation is NOT flirting. If you're being sexual or touching each other, that would be flirting, but basic conversation is NOT. I'll talk to anybody who's interesting enough, guys or girls. If a guy talks to me in class, I'll talk to him, but nothing will come of it, and if he gets too friendly, I tell him.....

And this is why I asked how can a guy expect a woman to know that he's interested without doing anything to let her know. I guess a lot of guys don't talk to women other than when they're interested and assume that just because he's talking to her, she should realize that he's interested. These are usually the same guys who believe that a woman who agrees to having a guy buy her dinner is also agreeing to making him "lucky" that particular evening.

 

[Maxtro]

Thank you very much for the input ladies and gentlemen

Here's a question for you, how would a girl know that you are interested in her without letting her know?

Good question. And the only answer I can give is because I only really talk with people I'm interested in. I also only expect the people interest in me to start conversations. I know it is foolish to think that everybody is the same but it's just what I believe for now.

If your talking to her she knows your interested.

This is what I mostly agree with. If she can see that I'm making the effort to talk to her she has to understand that I may have a reason. Or maybe she just might think that I'm sociable?

What is she thinking? I'll tell you. She's sizing you up. Checking you out. Are you funny? Are you fun? Are you hot? Do you have lots of friends? Are you high up on the social ladder? etc etc

The do this with every guy that talks to them. Remember to a girl, the guy she is with is supposed to describe her in her little mind.

Very good points.

I'll try..( the word lurking, sounds kind of creepy..lol.but ok)

Now that you popped up your not lurking anymore

When a guy speaks to me,am not actually thinking much I'm actually looking at
-his body language (insecure, nervous, ****y, **Funny (guys that can make me smile or laugh always get my attention)
-the way he is dress ( says alot about your personality, I know I have a friend who checks to see if the guy has clean shoes and if he doesn't she automatically dismisses him)
-the way he speaks

**first impression is everything; from the time her eyes sees you she is already asking herself if you are worth talking to (Harsh but true)

Interesting point of view. So you are mostly looking at the guy and how he talks and not what he is saying.

I've often wondered if the way I dress has any impact on how girls see me. Bah why do girls have to look at a guys shoes when they are the hardest thing to keep clean
How important is a guys hair?

If a guy was not worth talking to would she keep talking to him or would she say or do something to convey her disinterest. Or would she just be polite?

sorry to say this but all guys are the same until they PROVE to be other wise.

Are you 100% sure about this. Do you think that the guy who talks to you every day and walks with you to the parking lot is the same as the other guys who never say a word to you?

usually we play back the interaction in our head what was said, what the guy did wrong, what we did wrong .and LASTLY we tell our friend every detail and hear what our friend thinks.

I knew it! :rockon: I do exactly the same thing but I don't really focus on what she did wrong or right. Would you care to give an example of a typical converstaion that happens between you and your friend?

Something like

Suzy: He's so funny. Do you think he likes me?
Jenny: Oh yeah he totally like does.
Suzy: Why hasn't he asked for my number yet?
Jenny: I don't know. Maybe he is like gay or something, you know?
Suzy: WTF?!

Am I close?

What am I thinking about while talking to a guy? I'm thinking about the conversation and the topic at hand.

To me, conversation is NOT flirting. If you're being sexual or touching each other, that would be flirting, but basic conversation is NOT. I'll talk to anybody who's interesting enough, guys or girls. If a guy talks to me in class, I'll talk to him, but nothing will come of it, and if he gets too friendly, I tell him.

Look, here's my basic understanding: men interact through actions and events, whereas women interact through conversation. I grew up with brothers and saw them play video games with their friends for hours; they'd never say a word to each other, but to them that was interaction and bonding. When I hang out with my girlfriends, we spend most of the time talking. Sometimes an activity will be involved, but even then it'll be accompanied by a lot of talking.

So when a man has a conversation with a woman, he views that as flirting because he doesn't typically have those types of interactions with men. When a woman talks to a man, it doesn't constitute as flirting because it's the same interaction she has with other women.

Wow very good insight. To me conversation is like preflirting almost flirting. I'm generally a very quiet guy and talking to a girl is a huge sign of interest from me. especially if I make an effort to have a conversation with her when ever I see her. But then I have to realize that girls are normally much more sociable than guys so a basic conversation might not mean that much to them.

What do you consider being too friendly from a guy? Would you know that he is interested in you? How far would you let a guy go before you call him on it?

It depends on the girl's personality. I talked to different girls about this and some claimed that they can tell when a guy is hitting them, others just didn't think much of the interaction... they just flew with it without much thought.
I think it depends on you and how you talk to them if they'll know or not.

Hmm so some girls can figure it out while others can't or simply don't care.

BTW I'm not that bad that I believe that I will have sex with a girl just because I've done something nice for them. I got rid of that way of thinking many years ago.

 

[Jon55]

Remember to a girl, the guy she is with is supposed to describe her in her little mind.

Come again? Describe her in her little mind?

 

[Bvbidd]

lol, reflect who she is. She wants a cool guy because she wants others to think she's cool.

 

[Jon55]

lol, reflect who she is. She wants a cool guy because she wants others to think she's cool.

Ah, thought that's what you meant.

 

[2_intense2]

To me, conversation is NOT flirting

really? example: I was walking out of the metro to go home and I turn around to see this guy following me. Evebtually he catches up to be and
he says, "You walk pretty fast"
me, smilling said: " I would of walked alot faster if I knew I was being followed"
he laughs then he says: "I don't normally follow a girl but there was something about you that made me went to come over and speak to you"
(flirting or not?)

compare to the obvious way of flirting; has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? ( for the record saying it once flattering saying four times..not so much)

I grew up with brothers and saw them play video games with their friends for hours

I also have a brother, except he and his friends spent time picking up girls, so I saw first hand how they spoke to and how they approached girls.

I'm so pleased this guy approached me, thank you

lol..um..that's really funny ( but that thought NEVER crosses my mind, EVER)

What are you more likely to remember and care about, the highs or the lows?

depends on how it ended.

I've often wondered if the way I dress has any impact on how girls see me

The way the guy looks is a reflection of the girl because she is going to have to be seen with him.