The "What Every Woman Wants Thread" got me thinking

[knglerxt]

Find out who you really are, improve your true self (ie if you are naturally quiet, then just be really smooth, strong and quiet... nothing wrong with that), find women of your same personality, then play that field.

This got me to thinking: How would you get this natural trait (quietness) to work for you, instead of against you? Or is that even possible, since you have to be able to talk a certain amount to meet anyone?

I've always been introverted and quiet. It's just part of my personality. Unfortunately, as a result I've never had a girlfriend. It's severely limited my ability to meet women.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Being quiet doesn't mean you never talk - you talk when there is a purpose - when you see a girl that piques your interest you should know what you are going to say or you'll have to wait for a woman to be the aggressor - which may be never!!

You don't have to be verbose or eloquent but you do need to maintain a conversation!!

 

[PathGoer]

That's how I understand it:

If you are naturally quiet, do not caffeinate yourself to talk more. Are you quiet and well-read? Show that side of yourself, read even more and give a thought how to share you knowledge with people around you in a fun way. Are you quiet but can fix a car in two seconds? Show that side, and grow it. If you are introverted, you do not depend upon her approval in social situations, you can afford going against the general opinion of a group when you are convinced you are right, something an extraverted clown would never do. Etc.

 

[resilient]

Passive men attract aggressive women. It's the rule of opposites attract. I'm a down to earth guy and looking back at my past girlfriends I could state the fact that every one of them had low self esteem and needed lots of attention from males for validation.

They love the fact that I'm good looking and will maintain eye contact and not stray to look at the waitress passing by, hot HB in front of store window.

Like others said, if you can demonstrate that you're a good listener and a few whitty things here and there - they'll love you for it.

Only thing I suggest is not to become her shrink. My last ex I was always playing captainsaveaho role with her and she resented me for trying to change her, so accept the natural differences and get her mind off the drama and onto fun. You'll go further with less negative vibes.

 

[MisterNigma]

Silence is a powerful tool.

One of the key factors of speech, atleast in the United States, is that silence can be use to great advantage.

At work I often times find myself making a statement, and just keeping silent after. Typically this leads to a better response then to me just asking a direct question.

It's hard to explain in text, but don't be afraid of silence. Most of what you need to communicate to a woman, you should be communicating via body language anyway.


-E.Nigma

 

[knglerxt]

Passive men attract aggressive women. It's the rule of opposites attract. I'm a down to earth guy and looking back at my past girlfriends I could state the fact that every one of them had low self esteem and needed lots of attention from males for validation.

They love the fact that I'm good looking and will maintain eye contact and not stray to look at the waitress passing by, hot HB in front of store window.

Like others said, if you can demonstrate that you're a good listener and a few whitty things here and there - they'll love you for it.

Only thing I suggest is not to become her shrink. My last ex I was always playing captainsaveaho role with her and she resented me for trying to change her, so accept the natural differences and get her mind off the drama and onto fun. You'll go further with less negative vibes.

If I could meet women, that would probably work. But, how does an introverted guy even meet women to begin with? It's like a catch-22.

 

[knglerxt]

Being quiet doesn't mean you never talk - you talk when there is a purpose - when you see a girl that piques your interest you should know what you are going to say or you'll have to wait for a woman to be the aggressor - which may be never!!

You don't have to be verbose or eloquent but you do need to maintain a conversation!!

According to your definition, I don't know what you would call me. Even if I see a girl I'm attracted to, I don't say anything. Unless someone says something to me first, I don't speak to them. The only exception is if I already know that person.

 

[danielzxc]

It's BS man. It comes from this modern day tendency to wanna pretend that "everyone can be a winner". Some people are shy and quiet, others are lound and talkative? No problemo they tell you, one is not better than the other. It's like saying some people are short and fat, others are tall and buff, but no problem, no one is better than the other. What total BS. There's no way a quiet introverted guy is gonna do as well with women as an outgoing extrovert. (Just like the buff guy is always gonna beat out hte fat guy.) The logic that tries to tell you that he CAN do just as good is just a cop out excuse for you not to have to chang anything.

Well, actually, you DON'T have to change anything -- but then don't be expecting to pick up a lot chicks either. Simple.

(Resilient, that whole thing about opposites attracting is some of the greatest BS ever told. Absolute freaking BS. You might notice or one two traits in a couple that seem "opposite" to each other, but you would have to ignore the dozens that they have in common. I can't believe people fall for such stupidity.)

 

[Last Man Standing]

According to your definition, I don't know what you would call me. Even if I see a girl I'm attracted to, I don't say anything. Unless someone says something to me first, I don't speak to them. The only exception is if I already know that person.

Then you have a problem and most likely will get very few chicks, if any!

Your only hope is to make yourself available and hope an aggressive chick digs you and approaches. Or join organizations and see if you can build a relationship(s) on common interests!!

 

[knglerxt]

I'll jump off a bridge before I go the rest of my life without a woman. There's just no way I could do that. I don't think most other guys could, either.

I guess it's hard for someone who's never been there to understand.

 

[d9930380]

Yea you have to learn to communicate more. Have an arsenal of stories you can tell or questions you can ask. Be prepared, don't rely on thinking in the moment because that's what's holding you back. Most situations aren't unique and you can have the same old converstation with multiple different people, only improving it (making it more entertaining) with each subsequent person. As for having any witt, well most people don't have that so don't worry too much however some quiet people have razor sharp witt when in company they trust so it generally is an insecurity/sensitivity thing.

However the most important thing is you don't get any better without practice.

Last thing, being quiet sometimes has an advantage because it allows you to judge another person (women use it all the time) and also if someone is really interested then they will keep the conversation going without much help.

 

[BluEyes]

Here's a tip for quiet guys...I'm one of them actually, but I've learned firsthand how to make it an asset.

Being quiet in the dating game implies to chicks that there is more to you than meets the eye. If you demonstrate through shyness/introvert-like behavior during a convo with her, she's gonna flake realizing that there infact ISN'T much of interest under the quiet surface.

Therefore, you need to demonstrate that you are infact an interesting person. Just because you are introverted SOCIALLY, doesn't mean you should be introverted with your life.

1) First and foremost...make sure you ARE an interesting person. Get some hobbies, play a sport, take some random interest classes, learn afew neat skills(bartending, card tricks, etc etc).

2) I won't say the usual "learn afew jokes" thing. Whenever I do that, I always feel rehearsed and unnatural. And the jokes don't fit the situations as well. So, go to your bookstore and buy some funny books. Not necessarily a Jokes book, just books that are comedic in nature(blogs, stories, pictures, etc etc).

3) I can't stress this one enough...If anything really strange or interesting occurs in your life...WRITE IT DOWN! When u go home after something retardedly strange happens to you, jot it down in a notebook!! That way you'll always remember it, so if ur ever in a bonding convo with a chick, you'll be able to tell a story like "There was this one time..." etc etc etc.

4) If you are naturally a quiet person, you MUST be generally aware. If you are quiet and inept, you go straight to the bottom of the barrel. You have to understand what the hell is happening(social dynamics), so if you are ever on-the-spot, you don't look like a complete idiot. If you are quiet, then you must know WHAT to say and WHEN to say it. There is no way around this, it's the way it is. Essentially, Quality over Quantity. Alot of noisy people tend to just mash girls proverbial "buttons" to elicit the right response. Eventually they get it right. If you don't talk as much, you STILL have to be learning what are the correct buttons to push, without pushing them. So when you do speak, you know what "buttons" to push.



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Good luck.