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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The way to deeply connect to woman emotions.

JoyDivision1990

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What I advocate is what known seducers such as Zan Perrion advocate: mind your business, go on with your life and if you happen to find a woman you like, look for IOIs and then approach.
Yeah this^ is what stormrider/da dynamically used to advocate as well @pipeman84 . Not sure if you were around when he was (they were the same poster with two different usernames), but @BeExcellent certainly was. They had some great, spirited discussions back then.

I wasn't a member back then but stormrider and I met outside this forum and he introduced me to this place. Once I joined I began reading. SS was a different place back then!
 

sangheilios

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@jhonny9546

Bro, you are looking way too into this. Women either like you or they don't. You have personal compatibility with each other on some level or you don't. Things become much easier and simpler when you accept these basic facts instead of trying to put on an elaborate charade in order to get a woman to like you or retain her. IF you need to do this, she probably wasn't that into you in the first place or you just didn't have much in common with one another and had no "chemistry".
 

BeExcellent

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Women who chase are foolish. I did not say you personally were foolish @JoyDivision1990. And I think smiling and being warm are fine; I have a gregarious personality and men find me very attractive, and beyond just the physical.

Looks matter a great deal as a woman. The more beautiful a woman the more abundance she has. I doubt anyone will argue about that. I mention it only because it represents a certain perspective. A HB5 will have a very different perspective than a HB7; whose perspective will be different than a HB9.

There was a poster here several years ago, BigNeil. He took my avatar photo and put it on PhotoFeeler. Dozens of men rated it and the aggregate score? A solid 9+. Thats strictly looks based. I am prettier in person than in photos, and I have natural pin up proportions. So I thought that eval was both interesting and fairly objective. It certainly was congruent with how I have experienced interactions with men over my adult life.

Because men value beauty that perspective matters. This is why I don't struggle with men relative to less attractive women. It's lucky genetics too, so it's not as though it's something I did to have beautiful genetics; the staying fit & trim & having a healthy lifestyle? Sure. Many a natural beauty has ruined her looks with smoking, sun over exposure, obesity, etc. over time.

But men around here think often in generalizations and formulaic ways. Amal Clooney didn't have to do anything but show up. I have found that to be true for me as well. It is what it is.

Many men around here have never interacted with a 9 in real life. So my perspective is going to be different than many of the women guys here actually pull, but if guys really want an objectively gorgeous girl, they need to understand the landscape the gorgeous girl navigates.

I do realize that some women, probably most women, are less fortunate & have fewer options. Hell. I have to be extremely aware in social situations with couples for example, lest the husband pay too much attention to me, and the wife get irritated, because as you know, women are terribly and innately competitive. I find other beautiful women a relief to be around, especially if they are pleasant. It removes some of the spotlight from me, which is nice.

And I am absolutely a team player once in relationship. But the initial start of an interaction needs the man to be leading, not the woman to be attention seeking.
 

BeExcellent

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No I'm not as I've never in my 39yrs approached random women in random places (gas stations, airport security and the rest you listed above).

What I advocate is what known seducers such as Zan Perrion advocate: mind your business, go on with your life and if you happen to find a woman you like, look for IOIs and then approach.
- The Alabaster Girl
Ok. So these are all theories and you are not experiencing success in real life.

What I am saying is borne of my own personal experience and with the results to back it up. What I relate about my father & men I know personally to be successful with women also come from their real world experience to just make a move.

One ER physician I know met his wife at the hospital when her mother was admitted to treat an illness. He thought she was pretty, he made a move. They are now happily married. Would you consider an ER physician a low value man?

Don't be ridiculous.

Old proverb: "A man with experience is never at the mercy of a man with a theory."

Give that a think & get outside & interact with people.
 

JoyDivision1990

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The more beautiful a woman the more abundance she has
This^ I agree with. Ask me how I know. ;)

And I am absolutely a team player once in relationship. But the initial start of an interaction needs the man to be leading, not the woman to be attention seeking.
Wholeheartedly agree with this^ as well. And like you, I need a man to lead, otherwise it's doubtful I would ever be attracted to him ("attracted to" meaning beyond just the physical) or maintain my attraction.

However, I do know women (very beautiful feminine women, model looks) who have made the first approach and/or been the first to ask for a date (something light and casual), and NOT because they were or are "attention seeking," but because it was their nature to do so and it has worked well for them.

There is no "one right way" imo, every woman, every man, is different and as such have their own style and things they like and qualities in a woman they respond to (and vice versa).

I respect and value all styles and all types. If it works well for them and they're happy, that's all that matters at the end of the day.
 
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Ricky

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These are good discussions and reflect and more producitive discourse on sosuave recently
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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The central understanding of gaming and compatibility with women is simple.

If I change my behavior with women, my success with women changes.

That's it.

Your looks, clothes, your muscles, your bank roll, your living situation, your social circle - none of that sh1t matters.

Those things help the man with the right behavior, and hurt the man that does not have it.

Only your behavior matters.

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away.

keep one foot grounded in the basics,
“The women who are the most vocal about being the best you'll ever get and you should be the thankful are the ones who have the LEAST to offer you.”
 

pipeman84

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Yeah this^ is what stormrider/da dynamically used to advocate as well @pipeman84 . Not sure if you were around when he was (they were the same poster with two different usernames), but @BeExcellent certainly was. They had some great, spirited discussions back then.
No, I wasn't around.
Ok. So these are all theories and you are not experiencing success in real life.
They are not just theories, are a way of life for those who resonate with them.
One ER physician I know met his wife at the hospital when her mother was admitted to treat an illness. He thought she was pretty, he made a move. They are now happily married. Would you consider an ER physician a low value man?
Now you're building a couple of straw men ... 1. it's not the place of the interaction per se (the hospital, gas station etc) that's the issue. 2. low value man in the context of this thread doesn't mean illiterate, working minimum wage and dressed like a bum.
A physician can very well be a low value man ... probably every hospital has had at least one doctor who was 'that guy' hitting on nurses and residents.
In your example, I presume there was some warm up interaction, he didn't just bumped into her in the hallway, and used a PUA line on her. :p
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Women who chase are foolish. I did not say you personally were foolish @JoyDivision1990. And I think smiling and being warm are fine; I have a gregarious personality and men find me very attractive, and beyond just the physical.

Looks matter a great deal as a woman. The more beautiful a woman the more abundance she has. I doubt anyone will argue about that. I mention it only because it represents a certain perspective. A HB5 will have a very different perspective than a HB7; whose perspective will be different than a HB9.

There was a poster here several years ago, BigNeil. He took my avatar photo and put it on PhotoFeeler. Dozens of men rated it and the aggregate score? A solid 9+. Thats strictly looks based. I am prettier in person than in photos, and I have natural pin up proportions. So I thought that eval was both interesting and fairly objective. It certainly was congruent with how I have experienced interactions with men over my adult life.

Because men value beauty that perspective matters. This is why I don't struggle with men relative to less attractive women. It's lucky genetics too, so it's not as though it's something I did to have beautiful genetics; the staying fit & trim & having a healthy lifestyle? Sure. Many a natural beauty has ruined her looks with smoking, sun over exposure, obesity, etc. over time.

But men around here think often in generalizations and formulaic ways. Amal Clooney didn't have to do anything but show up. I have found that to be true for me as well. It is what it is.

Many men around here have never interacted with a 9 in real life. So my perspective is going to be different than many of the women guys here actually pull, but if guys really want an objectively gorgeous girl, they need to understand the landscape the gorgeous girl navigates.

I do realize that some women, probably most women, are less fortunate & have fewer options. Hell. I have to be extremely aware in social situations with couples for example, lest the husband pay too much attention to me, and the wife get irritated, because as you know, women are terribly and innately competitive. I find other beautiful women a relief to be around, especially if they are pleasant. It removes some of the spotlight from me, which is nice.

And I am absolutely a team player once in relationship. But the initial start of an interaction needs the man to be leading, not the woman to be attention seeking.
Not a religious man by any means, but “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Love ya gurl!
 

Dr.Suave

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Ok. So these are all theories and you are not experiencing success in real life.
Hey old friend. Try finding a needle in a haystack in Europe in 2024 as a 39 year old man. @pipeman84 has refused to lower his personal standards for "LTR / Exclusivity" and that is something I can respect.
 

BeExcellent

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Hey old friend. Try finding a needle in a haystack in Europe in 2024 as a 39 year old man. @pipeman84 has refused to lower his personal standards for "LTR / Exclusivity" and that is something I can respect.
I get it and understand. Basically all I'm saying is for guys to get out & approach women. If a man is unwilling to do that, then he's unwilling to do for himself. You don't have that issue; I don't either.

I'm successful in what I'm doing; so are you, so is my husband, etc. But rather than figure himself out and his shortcomings he is going to throw shade at me.

That's easier than looking himself in the eye and improving himself and his fears. I get that too. It's easier to throw darts at someone else....

But in the end that doesn't help him get women.
 

Dr.Suave

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I get it and understand. Basically all I'm saying is for guys to get out & approach women. If a man is unwilling to do that, then he's unwilling to do for himself. You don't have that issue; I don't either.

I'm successful in what I'm doing; so are you, so is my husband, etc.

It's easier to throw darts at someone else....
But in the end that doesn't help
I think I can agree to some extent. Thank you for your kind reply.
 

jhonny9546

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It's subtle. A quick look, a glance, a soft smile. Some indication of interest. I think it's natural for a woman who finds a man attractive to do this, it's instinctive.
This.

@BeExcellent What's your take?

THAT is why women who chase men or initiate with men are fools. Because they chase, they never are able to observe the man's level of interest or his willingness to invest in an objective way. These women do the man's job (leading, chasing, pushing the interaction forward.) It is a dominant behavior desired by weak men, or worse, lazy men (this is how women get themselves used by men and how women end up as sidepieces & plates - never gaining exclusivity or committment.)
I do have a real life example for this! So true!
I see this couple LTR made of turmoil and chaos. It's what keep em togheter

@jhonny9546

Bro, you are looking way too into this. Women either like you or they don't. You have personal compatibility with each other on some level or you don't. Things become much easier and simpler when you accept these basic facts instead of trying to put on an elaborate charade in order to get a woman to like you or retain her. IF you need to do this, she probably wasn't that into you in the first place or you just didn't have much in common with one another and had no "chemistry".
The chemistry you talk about, disappear in an LTR somehow.
You're really lucky to still have that in an LTR.
 
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AmsterdamAssassin

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The chemistry you talk about, disappear in an LTR somehow.
You're really lucky to still have that in an LTR.
No, it's not luck.
The chemistry has to be real, then it's sustainable in relationship.
 

jhonny9546

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No, it's not luck.
The chemistry has to be real, then it's sustainable in relationship.
Anyone of us has experienced that chemistry in our life. For those who haven't yet, They will.
So you talk about the chemistry being "real".
Is that a "fake" chemistry? And how do you spot the difference?
 

pipeman84

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Is that a "fake" chemistry? And how do you spot the difference?
If she's had more than 2 guys in her life then almost surely it is fake. Real chemistry lasts, the fake one doesn't because it's induced by drugs, money and/or her mental issues.
 
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