I ran into my Ex a few days ago, I caught her giving me a look but I went about my business not even paying 2 seconds to her. I knew what she was trying to do, the look said it all. She wanted me to want something I didn't have, which is funny considering I dumped her. I paid no mind, but she stood there for a minute looking at me trying to get my attention, and then she left all pissed off.
I smiled as I remembered how I went from oneitis with her to coming to my senses and leaving. But also because I was able to reaffirm something I believe in.
The idea of detachment is that a person serves their desire for something, and takes a come what may attitude. The buhhdists are famous for this idea in which they desire nothing but rather enjoy what ends up in their lap so to speak. I'm sure we have all seen and heard that leaving a woman wanting more increases their wanting you. Of course this is true to an extent, but I've seen some problems with the idea of pure detachment put into action.
The problem is that people take the idea of detachment to far. Meaning that they will completely ignore the girl they are trying to pick up in terms of emotion and interest. Though granted at first it will cause a spike in their IL, prolonged detachment without some sort or return on the woman's emotion investment will lead to a rapid decrease in her IL. Look even a cactus will need water at some point, and so will your attention starved girl, if you want to keep her around. So you need to use selective detachment.
Now the best way to tell you about selective detachment is to tell you about **** and Jane, who I know from work. I call the guy **** because that's what he is. He is tacturn, extremely confident on the line of being arrogant and a man of few words, but he also snatches up a lot of tail. Then there is Jane a good looking woman who as you will see is nuts over ****.(Don't Snicker)
**** will use as few words as possible on the job, and he expects things to be done his way, usually he ignores Jane or only really talks to her when he is giving her marching orders. But, just as Jane thinks she has lost any chance with him, her comes happy, funny, witty ****.(Stop Snickering) He makes her laugh and suddenly is magnet to which he attracts everyone to his side, but just as Jane thinks she cracked him, he goes back to being his usual self. So you ask how does this effect Jane.
Well she is always bothering her femal coworkers about him and when at meetings she sits across from him, and sometimes he will turn on the juice. When he does Jane gets this look in her eye like she needs a towel and a new skirt, she places her palms flat on the table and her knuckles turn white from pressing on the table so hard, like she is about to leap across the table and get her some ****.(Now Snicker) **** has a great record around the office in terms of job performace and performace with the ladies.
So what can we learn from this, well essentially one should choose the momments they give attention. Something I liked to do was when in public with my Ex, she was all about the PDA and making sure single people knew she was taken.(*****) So I would ignore that part, which would fustrate her terribly, but when we got back to my place as usual, I gentle back rub and a kiss on the neck ended up leading to loud moaning and complaining apartment mates later. The point is the more you hold out, the less attention you really have to give, just so long as you have given something. It doesn't have to gushy or a lot, it could just be a smile, a hug, a hand at the small of the back with a squeeze, and I garuntee she will give you this look like a great wall just collapsed. The important thing to remember is that each woman will tolerate a certain amount of detachment before losing all interest, you just have to figure out where you can cut corners.
-Grey Fox
I smiled as I remembered how I went from oneitis with her to coming to my senses and leaving. But also because I was able to reaffirm something I believe in.
The idea of detachment is that a person serves their desire for something, and takes a come what may attitude. The buhhdists are famous for this idea in which they desire nothing but rather enjoy what ends up in their lap so to speak. I'm sure we have all seen and heard that leaving a woman wanting more increases their wanting you. Of course this is true to an extent, but I've seen some problems with the idea of pure detachment put into action.
The problem is that people take the idea of detachment to far. Meaning that they will completely ignore the girl they are trying to pick up in terms of emotion and interest. Though granted at first it will cause a spike in their IL, prolonged detachment without some sort or return on the woman's emotion investment will lead to a rapid decrease in her IL. Look even a cactus will need water at some point, and so will your attention starved girl, if you want to keep her around. So you need to use selective detachment.
Now the best way to tell you about selective detachment is to tell you about **** and Jane, who I know from work. I call the guy **** because that's what he is. He is tacturn, extremely confident on the line of being arrogant and a man of few words, but he also snatches up a lot of tail. Then there is Jane a good looking woman who as you will see is nuts over ****.(Don't Snicker)
**** will use as few words as possible on the job, and he expects things to be done his way, usually he ignores Jane or only really talks to her when he is giving her marching orders. But, just as Jane thinks she has lost any chance with him, her comes happy, funny, witty ****.(Stop Snickering) He makes her laugh and suddenly is magnet to which he attracts everyone to his side, but just as Jane thinks she cracked him, he goes back to being his usual self. So you ask how does this effect Jane.
Well she is always bothering her femal coworkers about him and when at meetings she sits across from him, and sometimes he will turn on the juice. When he does Jane gets this look in her eye like she needs a towel and a new skirt, she places her palms flat on the table and her knuckles turn white from pressing on the table so hard, like she is about to leap across the table and get her some ****.(Now Snicker) **** has a great record around the office in terms of job performace and performace with the ladies.
So what can we learn from this, well essentially one should choose the momments they give attention. Something I liked to do was when in public with my Ex, she was all about the PDA and making sure single people knew she was taken.(*****) So I would ignore that part, which would fustrate her terribly, but when we got back to my place as usual, I gentle back rub and a kiss on the neck ended up leading to loud moaning and complaining apartment mates later. The point is the more you hold out, the less attention you really have to give, just so long as you have given something. It doesn't have to gushy or a lot, it could just be a smile, a hug, a hand at the small of the back with a squeeze, and I garuntee she will give you this look like a great wall just collapsed. The important thing to remember is that each woman will tolerate a certain amount of detachment before losing all interest, you just have to figure out where you can cut corners.
-Grey Fox