"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The use of "i love you"

donpepot

Don Juan
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The only thing that you can do with saying I love you is making the girl feels safe with you..

Safe to f*ck with you, safe to want you and safe to be in relationship with you..

other than that its complete nothing..

Only being attracted to you is the key reason why she will want you or have sex with you..

Your feelings wont matter what matter is her feelings..

So if your gonna say " i love you" without establishing that she wants you or and make her attracted to you its a sure fire thing she will dump you and find you a moshy afc..

So directing to the point the most mortal enemy in making a move to a woman is following your heart and expressing your feeling...do that and your doom...

Now when you establish the attraction... and shes like you....

the only ting you should focus now is how to make her feel safe with you and trust you...


Ex. " I like him I want to f*ck with him...but im afraid he might dump me in the next morning....can I trust him?"

that is the only use of the word I love you...dont worry its safe to pull down your panties...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Silkandsteel

Don Juan
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Depends what you're after I guess. If you love a woman and you're keeping her IL high and the sex is great and you DO love her, tell her. If you flap about and say it for any other reason than you really mean it, she'll see through it and give you the AFC treatment.

Eventually she is gonna wanna hear it and if she means enough to you, why not tell her? if you're doing everything right and your relationship is great and healthy and she suddenly treats you like sh!t and leaves you because you told her you love her then she's seriously f****** in the head and you get over her and move on. The end.

There's no shame in being strong enough to admit you're feelings, the difference between AFC and DJ is how it's said and when it's said. AFC love you's are for personal gain, DJ love-you's are the way they are because that's how it is and you want your woman to know, with sincerity and confidence.

One of the primary assets of a DJ is to separate himself from "the others" to create opportunity and attraction. Imagine all the AFC's that have told women they love them and how many times the woman has felt like vomiting due to their insecurity and hidden agendas. It takes a real man to say I love you and mean it, no shame, no regrets and to her it means a lot. If she takes it as a free pass to f*** with your life you may wanna assess when, how and even WHY you said it in the first place.

This notion of not saying I love you until you've been dating her for 10 years is a nonsense. It may help to keep your emotions intact and preserve some form of challenge, but you can still keep a woman interested in you, hot for you and only you even if you do tell her.

I think the issue is that men get complacent. They admit their love for a woman and she becomes comfortable, so he becomes comfortable and complacent. She hangs with you initially because "you love her" and to 99.9% of women that matters quite a bit. It's the change in the man's attitude and behaviour that makes the women lose interest, not the fact she knows you love her. That content scenario allows for sh!t tests...

What's worse, is she sees a man who "loves her" become predictable and boring...not a great back-up to his apparent love for her, is it? He loves her so much he's stopped treating her like a woman and he's stopped trying to keep her interested. Now the L-word has come out, why try? she 'aint going anywhere now, she's got what all women want, a man who loves them...

I think a large majority of guys have been SO burned with their own personal "I love you" tales of woe that they forget that it's ok to love a woman and to let her know it. Check the web sometime and read some of the stories of women who have been totally used and abused by "loving" men and see how burned they got. These are the women that spend their days now getting "payback" and devour AFC's left, right and centre...so let them...maybe they earned it. Just like some our AFC's turned DJ's maybe feel they have earned the right to f*** their pain away now by going through meaningless relationships for their own payback.

However you decide to view it, you CAN have the best of both worlds if you really want it. You can have the great sex AND you can have the great love. Guys have to do their part the right way, that's all.
 

thekhris

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snorida44x said:
Once you establish attraction on a attractive women, which would be done by being different from all the rest of the guys and not courting her and not always giving her what she wants, then the instant you turn into a wussy and say "I love you", she'll be off looking for the next guy. The whole reason she felt attraction in the first place was because you were different...saying "I love you" could ruin that attraction you have created.
exactly... Saying I love you is not a magic word with a wand that can make girls fall in love...

Girls dosnt care if yoy love them..youre love is not the rason why they will agree to be in relationship with you or have sex with you..its your attraction..

exelent point donpepot
 
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