The Universal Female Excuse Archive! Add any female excuses you've gotten or heard!

[Peaks&Valleys]

"I was driving home from work and I just zoned out"

"I'm still at work" (she wasn't)

Same chick, loved throwing work in there.

 

[nismo-4]

Those that I remember...

- I thought we were hanging out tomorrow
As stated in my deck. Many tomorrows will come (backburner).

- I have some errands
Got this Saturday and now I've gone ghost on this girl for now.

- I'll let you know in a bit
I'm letting you know that you're not a priority.

- I woke up really tired
After getting my vaginal walls destroyed by a football player.

- I'm not feeling well
Take a wild guess why.

- I have to babysit
As described in my deck. I have better options.

- My friend came into town
See above. She wants you to chase her and you're not a high priority.

- I started talking to someone
LJBF rejection.

- I don't want to lead you on
This princess is in another castle. Rejection.

- Send me your picture
Send your BEST picture.

My favorite:

I just met someone lol
I just wanna be your friend and whine about how he's mistreating (banging) me. We all know what that means lol. REJECTION!!!

Damn! Let's keep this going!

 

[HedoRick]

Haha. Totally agree. :crackup: I posted those up here because they are BY FAR the lamest texts I've ever gotten. Both from POF loons. It's why it's best to pull lots of numbers from that site or stay away altogether...

That first one means she's getting railed by a better man.

The second one means you've been rejected.

 

[Packers2010]

as a funny side story.

i remember a girl telling me she could get a cab home when i offerd to give her a lift home. i just said whatever and change the subject. then i asked a again she said cab. then third time she went with me.

that was pretty huge for me to see that

 

[Purefilth]

Ok,Thought of one thats not here already!

Had an ex go out to the club and I found out she made out with a dude. When I confronted her - the excuse was


"He made me feel wanted"

obviously translates to

"I'm a slvt with cluster B personality traits - Luckily Purefilth figured there were enough red flags and decided to escape from my compulsive lying ass and didnt try to @save that hor@"

Bloody hard work to get away from that girl boys - took months, she was a manipulative wh)re.(yes theres alot more to that story - one of my more eventful relationships, we'll save that for another time yeah?)

 

[nismo-4]

It's even crazier that some of these get doubled up!

 

[TigerClaws]

I have to add this here.

When I standing outside her dorm room, and she sees me. She texts me this: "I have to get my macbook fixed, right now." :crackup: On a Sunday afternoon at a closed library.

I replied her saying "Well curse your macbook for the rest of your life, because you just missed out on great sex" and deleted her number that instant. :rockon:

 

[bukowski_merit]

Most have been covered... My most common one is "I have work tomorrow morning" (and... it'll be like 7pm - b!tches need that much sleep? lol)


Strangest incident of excuse making I've ever encountered though:

Went out on a date with a woman to a local bar to grab a few drinks.

We seemed to be hitting it off well. But I really didn't feel much chemistry there. She was cute, but that electricity that happens when two people can't wait to rip each other clothes off was absent. We seemed like good friends.

So, instead of wasting time - I say "So let's go back to my place so we can talk in private away from all this obnoxiousness... and see what happens..."

To my surprise - she agreed!

It's a 30 minute ride from that place to my house, she followed me the whole time.

She gets there, and I see her texting someone as I show her around the house.

5 minutes later her 13 year old son called her (she was 30; had him when she was 17).

I noticed right away something wasn't right when she put her son on SPEAKER.

Her: "Yeah? Something wrong?"
Him: (no panic at all) "Mom. You need to come home now... Krista (her baby daughter) broke her arm. She fell out of the crib."
Her: (no panic or reaction) "Oh, are you sure she broke it?"
Him: "Yeah she can't move it, it's red; she's crying" (crickets in the background).
Her: "Ok, I'm coming home now." (she's about a hour from home.)

Tells me she's so sorry... Blah blah blah...

I kissed the b!tch lol

I knew she didn't want to, but her excuse was pathetic! And that she had her son telling lies about her daughter to get her out of a date was even worse!


She texts me the next day and says "My daughter is in a cast, thanks for asking @sshole." (note: excuse for her never to talk to me again).

My response: "If you didn't want to come home with me - a "dude, im just going to go home" would have been fine. You don't have to turn your son into what you are."


I then used the "block" feature on my phone for the first time ever...


---

I actually use this story when I'm talking to women on the phone. To let them know it's alright to just say they aren't feeling the vibe and leave.... No lies neccesary.

Makes things a lot easier...

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Most have been covered... My most common one is "I have work tomorrow morning" (and... it'll be like 7pm - b!tches need that much sleep? lol)


Strangest incident of excuse making I've ever encountered though:

Went out on a date with a woman to a local bar to grab a few drinks.

We seemed to be hitting it off well. But I really didn't feel much chemistry there. She was cute, but that electricity that happens when two people can't wait to rip each other clothes off was absent. We seemed like good friends.

So, instead of wasting time - I say "So let's go back to my place so we can talk in private away from all this obnoxiousness... and see what happens..."

To my surprise - she agreed!

It's a 30 minute ride from that place to my house, she followed me the whole time.

She gets there, and I see her texting someone as I show her around the house.

5 minutes later her 13 year old son called her (she was 30; had him when she was 17).

I noticed right away something wasn't right when she put her son on SPEAKER.

Her: "Yeah? Something wrong?"
Him: (no panic at all) "Mom. You need to come home now... Krista (her baby daughter) broke her arm. She fell out of the crib."
Her: (no panic or reaction) "Oh, are you sure she broke it?"
Him: "Yeah she can't move it, it's red; she's crying" (crickets in the background).
Her: "Ok, I'm coming home now." (she's about a hour from home.)

Tells me she's so sorry... Blah blah blah...

I kissed the b!tch lol

I knew she didn't want to, but her excuse was pathetic! And that she had her son telling lies about her daughter to get her out of a date was even worse!


She texts me the next day and says "My daughter is in a cast, thanks for asking @sshole." (note: excuse for her never to talk to me again).

My response: "If you didn't want to come home with me - a "dude, im just going to go home" would have been fine. You don't have to turn your son into what you are."


I then used the "block" feature on my phone for the first time ever...


---

I actually use this story when I'm talking to women on the phone. To let them know it's alright to just say they aren't feeling the vibe and leave.... No lies neccesary.

Makes things a lot easier...

Now that right there is one worthless cvnt.

 

[Greasy Pig]

One of my all-time favourites from a plate who dumped me: "I've started seeing someone."
Me: "But you're already seeing someone. Me!"
Funny shyt.

 

[Mike32ct]

Same blonde from mat ch:

We had a date for New Year's Eve.

HB: I can go with you NYE, but you have to drop me off right after midnight.

Mike: why

HB: I have to go to the bridal shop to be measured for a dress for a friend's wedding. I have an appointment early at 8am.

While I don't recommend asking women for advice I did anyway because I don't know anything about bridesmaid dress fitting appointment crap, and my BS detector was going off.

I explained this situation to two female friends. They independently told me the same thing...

Chick's advice : "She's full of shyte. She's cutting the date short because she doesn't want to hook up with you (me). No bridal shop is open on New Year's Day, and even in the slim chance that they are, they wouldn't open at 8am. Just cancel the date."

Mike: So what you're saying is she may be setting up the dreaded half-date? In other words, dinner and dancing and drinking with me, but as soon as I drop her off right after midnight, she'll text some other dude to come over and F her?

Chick's Advice: yes exactly

 

[Who Dares Win]

Same blonde from mat ch:

We had a date for New Year's Eve.

HB: I can go with you NYE, but you have to drop me off right after midnight.

Mike: why

HB: I have to go to the bridal shop to be measured for a dress for a friend's wedding. I have an appointment early at 8pm.

While I don't recommend asking women for advice I did anyway because I don't know anything about bridesmaid dress fitting appointment crap, and my BS detector was going off.

I explained this situation to two female friends. They independently told me the same thing...

Chick's advice : "She's full of shyte. She's cutting the date short because she doesn't want to hook up with you (me). No bridal shop is open on New Year's Day, and even in the slim chance that they are, they wouldn't open at 8am. Just cancel the date."

Mike: So what you're saying is she may be setting up the dreaded half-date? In other words, dinner and dancing and drinking with me, but as soon as I drop her off right after midnight, she'll text some other dude to come over and F her?

Chick's Advice: yes exactly. CANCEL this "date"

Well man Im sure you didnt need a chick to confirm what your gut was telling you, however Im impressed and ashtonished from the ease with which chicks nowadays use the most obvious bvllsh1t to get it their way.

If I had a girl that I dont want hitting on me, I would try at least to save face for both of us, they instead either think the average man is a retarded or they simply consider a man in which they are not interested unworth of even a slight effort to not make him feel like sh1t.

Or even worse they dont realize whats going on as if anything below a top percenter doesnt even turn a subconsciuous switch which starts most of her brain.

 

[Mike32ct]

Well man Im sure you didnt need a chick to confirm what your gut was telling you, however Im impressed and ashtonished from the ease with which chicks nowadays use the most obvious bvllsh1t to get it their way.

I agree completely. This was a few years ago. I wouldn't have to ask anyone about this now. I know better lol.

Notwithstanding, female advice isn't all bad. It just takes experience to be able to look at it objectively. If it matches your experience/gut feeling, it's probably accurate.

If I had a girl that I dont want hitting on me, I would try at least to save face for both of us, they instead either think the average man is a retarded or they simply consider a man in which they are not interested unworth of even a slight effort to not make him feel like sh1t.

Exactly.

Or even worse they dont realize whats going on as if anything below a top percenter doesnt even turn a subconsciuous switch which starts most of her brain.

That's an interesting point, maybe worth a separate thread.

Anyway, I posted the story for entertainment value and so other guys can see what kind of bizarre excuses women use.

I think that is the Judge's intent: a thread partly for fun but also to educate guys about excuses and maybe provide sort of a "female excuse translator."

 

[nismo-4]

That's an interesting point, maybe worth a separate thread.

Anyway, I posted the story for entertainment value and so other guys can see what kind of bizarre excuses women use.

I think that is the Judge's intent: a thread partly for fun but also to educate guys about excuses and maybe provide sort of a "female excuse translator."

Being that I tend to be entertaining about some of these cases that come into this courtroom, I gotta have some fun in there too! And invite the SS community into it too.

Just today, I asked a woman out and she said she's kind of seeing someone. Rejection!

If your gut tells you that your princess is in another castle, she usually is.

Here's one that I didn't bring up, action wise. When you call a girl and you're on the phone with her, and she says she'll call you back. I just hang up when I get this line and delete her number if she doesn't answer again. Gee whiz, how often do they call back? Another variant is the blur, meaning you call her and she never answers again.

Women don't play games with men they're interested in. Would she stop answering the phone for Brad Pitt? Hell no, she'd be calling him if he goes ghost!

Females have much much more choosing power than men could ever dream of, so they gotta come up with all these excuses. It's rare a woman will tell you she ain't interested.

The only IOI you need to know is this: If the woman actually goes out with you and lets you advance!

Keep up the excuses folks!

 

[synergy1]

This was a long time ago, but still holds pertinent to this thread.

Was in college at the time. Cant say I was trying to game this chick, as she was in a relationship at the time. Long story short she wanted to hook up and I thought withholding sex for a bit would be advantageous ( not the case). I ended up asking to hang out to which the response was "I am cleaning out my laundry hamper" ouch!

 

[fuzzball]

just going to toss this out there. girl divorces man for being too nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAXSgssptc0

 

[lamobatsman]

You guys have it lucky. If i heard any of these excuses i would be so lucky. At least u guys know that they arent interested. I had to find out by her kissing someone else. So ya i prefer excuses any day

 

[nismo-4]

A recent one I got and this was from a stripper in the club:

My phone got stolen.

Knew it was bullsh*t as evidenced by she pulled out her phone and exchanged numbers with another guy. Just walked off and she told me that we can talk the next time I come in.

"Next time".

If next time even occurs. BTW, that's on HER terms. Sorry, I'm not dancing to your lame ass tune. My way or the highway.

Another one which got her number quickly deleted after I hung up:

I gotta go to the post office. On Sunday.

I hate these excuses:

1. Give me your number, I'll call you.
2. I'll call you and let you know.
3. I'll call you back later.
4. MIXED SIGNALS!

 

[GS750]

I'm very busy this week
I'll call you when I get some time
Maybe another time
Give me your number instead
I have plans tonight
I don't know what time I get off work tomorrow
I'm having a family crisis (her family lived in the Dominican Republic)
My daughter is sick (eject, eject, eject!!!)
My roommate thinks you're a jerk
My gay best friend thinks you're a jerk (gay man friends are the biggest c-blockers)
I like to be pursued
My phone was off because I forgot to pay the bill
I lost my phone
My phone was on silent and I didn't know
I'm getting back with my ex
I'm sort of seeing someone
Because I'm a girl...I get what I want (heard this one recently from a divorced 34 yr old single mom. Eject.)
...and of course the best one...she goes Ghost on you.

 

[Masculinity]

-I have to work
-My friend is having a pageant get-together (no joke)
-I forgot
-I don't have a car (offered to pick her up, still nada)
-I'm on my period
-I'm secretly an undercover whore (100% real, not even making it up)
-I'm babysitting tonight
-I'm a virgin