"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

The Unintentional Field Report

Kailex

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
2,072
Reaction score
190
Location
New Jersey
Alright, I had a much longer post set up with the explanation of this evening for 4th of July and it erased itself.

Here's the shorter version.

HB-8, that's 40 years old, attends a BBQ with a bunch of fellow co-workers. Other single thirties, hit on her for most of the afternoon. I was just there for beer and fireworks. She comes over to me, starts talking to me... I'm laid back.

We work together some times, but I never knew her age. She voluntarily gives it up to which i respond:

"Really... 40? Wow..."

She seemed to expect some comment about how good she looked for her age."

"...I thought you didn't look a day under 45."

She seemed shocked but laughed.
Night continues, I'm subconsciously dropping neg-hits and then kino. I thought this was normal as I WASN'T TRYING to get with her. I was just thinknig: Co-Workers = Friendly.

Apparently, SHE didn't.
And it didn't hit me til I was talking to her about how I love rollercoasters but I'm afraid of heights and said she'd love it if I called her so we could go together next weekend.

THAT'S when it hit me that all the neg-hits, C&F, Kino had her invested, specially since I wasn't trying. She inputed her phone into mine and pressed Send so she could have it.

At this point, I blatantly realized what was happening and tried to pull away from the situation. That made it WORSE.
She was even MORE into me because of that.

Now, the double whammy of single mom (kid's 17) and co-worker were what were keeping me from realizing what was going on. I truly wasn't interested. At the end of the night she told me she had a great time (wtf, this wasn't a date) and leaned in for a hug and as I pulled back, she gave me a kiss.

Great.

Now, you might be asking, what's the point of this thread... it's basically for me to recognize that even though I wasn't trying... I was subconsciously laying down the DJ field tactics and it worked to a certain degree. Other men were trying too hard to talk to her and get her number, but here I was, not even TRYING and she gave me the number. Had I truly pushed this further, she would have ended up at my apartment with her ankles wrapped around my neck.

Secondary point of this thread is to discuss with the other Mature Men in this forum: Has this happened to you? Have you become the "victim" of unknowingly displaying DJ tools even though you haven't tried and what results has it garnered foryou?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

SoldMySoul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2006
Messages
787
Reaction score
23
Location
Lousyiana
I went out with a cougar several years ago when I was about 35... I think she lied about her age and was probably late forties, but was pushing mid forties.

I was not really trying anything with her. She made comments about me not commenting her on her appearance and crap like that. I was cordial throughout the night, laid back and was not totally into the experience. She looked pretty good for her age.

Wound up drunk back at her apartment and did the deed half a$$ed due to being so drunk.

Disinterest works wonders that is for sure. It seems to work especially well on those that are declining in their value and know it!

Later on I went back again with this psycho nut and she showed her a$$ to the bar staff and left all pissed. This is when I started opening my eyes to what was out there. The older women seem to have the majority of issues from my experience or it could be that the older I get I start to see more stuff.
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Kailex said:
Night continues, I'm subconsciously dropping neg-hits and then kino. I thought this was normal as I WASN'T TRYING to get with her. I was just thinknig: Co-Workers = Friendly.
Yes, after a few years of consciously practicing c&f, one starts to do it habitually - with results that are oftentimes unwanted.
I do believe that you resisted wisely - those flings with "older women at the office" rarely end well, take it from me.
I used to tell them that I had a fiance "back home".

At least, back in the day, a guy could get a BJ in the stationary room. I am not sure that stationary rooms still exist do they ?
 

ThunderMaverick

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2004
Messages
1,945
Reaction score
70
Age
45
jophil28 said:
Yes, after a few years of consciously practicing c&f, one starts to do it habitually - with results that are oftentimes unwanted.
I do believe that you resisted wisely - those flings with "older women at the office" rarely end well, take it from me.
I used to tell them that I had a fiance "back home".

At least, back in the day, a guy could get a BJ in the stationary room. I am not sure that stationary rooms still exist do they ?

What's a stationary room?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
ThunderMaverick said:
What's a stationary room?
Opps, I meant "stationery" (sp) room where various paper supplies were stacked on shelves - invoice blanks, order forms and printer paper and so on.
It was a small room like a large closet and often had a convenient lock on the door.
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,197
Reaction score
140
Kailex said:
Secondary point of this thread is to discuss with the other Mature Men in this forum: Has this happened to you? Have you become the "victim" of unknowingly displaying DJ tools even though you haven't tried and what results has it garnered foryou?
Yeah I do it naturally and when it's unintentional, it can get me some unwanted results. Last time, I got a girl so keen that she kept calling me late at night on weekends asking how I was and what I was up to. Then she came to visit my mother (her mum & mine are acquaintances) a few times to find out more about me...

All because we caught up for a drink one time with a few other friends and I was teasing, flirting & kinoing her and getting her to talk about herself a lot without realising what I was really doing.

Other times, it's not so bad. I've unintentionally done the same to a few bangable older women, and when they got to the game-on stage, I realised what I was doing, shrugged and thought "oh what the hell!" and went for the full ride.

Rarely that I managed to game attractive young girls (my real targets) unintentionally, but the few times it's happened, it was quite memorable.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,799
Reaction score
10,029

Mojogoat

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2008
Messages
18
Reaction score
1
Location
Northern Ireland
For the record, stationery rooms still exist, we have one in our office. Glad to be of service.
Haven't had a bj in it though...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Top