Serenity
Moderator
When I started out I was highly anxious people, I could barely gather the courage to call my friends. I was sitting inside all day playing games and exploring the world through a screen. Frustration grew to extreme heights, I realized something was wrong. I wanted a girlfriend to end my loneliness, and I had to find out how. I started reading PUA material, set up an online dating profile and somehow managed to set up a date.
When the date was planned (simple meeting at a café) there was no going back, this had to be done. I arrived late, was extremely nervous and didn't even know what I was doing. We just talked politely for 1.5 hour, hugged and went separate directions. Tried texting the next day, but I understood that this one was lost. I still felt good for trying, and the challenge before me was to shake the oneitis feeling.
Shortly after to my surprise I got contacted by a cute girl online, she seemed very interested. I let her wait and schedule to meet her, my confidence was a little higher now. I get her to my place, and she insists on staying the night on our first date. She's very passive and I just pushed myself to take action. Still went all the way.
After that I get friendzoned, but I knew what to do and cut contact. She came back within a week, in which I had forgotten about her. Now feelings re-ignited, and I got that glorious pvssy again. Something was off, she was hiding something. I did not like it, but I found it hard to dump her now that I had gotten sex. Shortly after I decided to leave and never look back, found out she had very low self-esteem.
A few days after that at a party I was indifferent because of the previous chick, and just automatically started talking to a hotter chick. It went well until she just disappeared, I thought it was lost. To my surprise she texted me a few days later and wanted to meet me again. I did, but circumstances did not allow her to come with me.
The third time we met was completely by chance, I kept track of her in a nightclub. Blew other guys off like I owned the place and boldly made out with her. I wanted to fvck her, and I somehow got her home with me. Doing it with her was a whole different world compared to the previous chick.
After this my integrity started to crumble and I fell back to AFC behavior. She quickly noticed it and I didn't hear from her again. This one was much harder to get over as I knew I was the one failing. I have not had sex since then, and instead started working on myself. On occasion I have made out with some girls though
From then and to this day I have done things I didn't expect to discover truth. I read mountains of religious texts, philosophies, psychology, self-improvement material and forum posts. As I became more aware of what people around me were doing the burden of reality became heavier. I became numb, depressed and felt empty.
I was angry, sad, worried etc. I have cried and been at the point where nothing mattered. I refused to run away from my problems and I refused to fight, only option left was to give up. I obviously didn't kill myself, it was more of a massive "fvck it" to everything. Suddenly everything flipped and everything just made sense.
The serenity that followed was unimaginable, but I was still falling. Something had to be done. I patched up all my mistakes, made peace with my miserable past and learned to walk again.
Right now I can't be stopped, I simply refuse to not live my dreams. Reality is just the same no matter what I feel or think, I can only control myself. When it comes to women they now can't resist me, I'm a walking dream to them.
The "red pill" is not what I expected it to be, it never is and that's the point.
When the date was planned (simple meeting at a café) there was no going back, this had to be done. I arrived late, was extremely nervous and didn't even know what I was doing. We just talked politely for 1.5 hour, hugged and went separate directions. Tried texting the next day, but I understood that this one was lost. I still felt good for trying, and the challenge before me was to shake the oneitis feeling.
Shortly after to my surprise I got contacted by a cute girl online, she seemed very interested. I let her wait and schedule to meet her, my confidence was a little higher now. I get her to my place, and she insists on staying the night on our first date. She's very passive and I just pushed myself to take action. Still went all the way.
After that I get friendzoned, but I knew what to do and cut contact. She came back within a week, in which I had forgotten about her. Now feelings re-ignited, and I got that glorious pvssy again. Something was off, she was hiding something. I did not like it, but I found it hard to dump her now that I had gotten sex. Shortly after I decided to leave and never look back, found out she had very low self-esteem.
A few days after that at a party I was indifferent because of the previous chick, and just automatically started talking to a hotter chick. It went well until she just disappeared, I thought it was lost. To my surprise she texted me a few days later and wanted to meet me again. I did, but circumstances did not allow her to come with me.
The third time we met was completely by chance, I kept track of her in a nightclub. Blew other guys off like I owned the place and boldly made out with her. I wanted to fvck her, and I somehow got her home with me. Doing it with her was a whole different world compared to the previous chick.
After this my integrity started to crumble and I fell back to AFC behavior. She quickly noticed it and I didn't hear from her again. This one was much harder to get over as I knew I was the one failing. I have not had sex since then, and instead started working on myself. On occasion I have made out with some girls though
From then and to this day I have done things I didn't expect to discover truth. I read mountains of religious texts, philosophies, psychology, self-improvement material and forum posts. As I became more aware of what people around me were doing the burden of reality became heavier. I became numb, depressed and felt empty.
I was angry, sad, worried etc. I have cried and been at the point where nothing mattered. I refused to run away from my problems and I refused to fight, only option left was to give up. I obviously didn't kill myself, it was more of a massive "fvck it" to everything. Suddenly everything flipped and everything just made sense.
The serenity that followed was unimaginable, but I was still falling. Something had to be done. I patched up all my mistakes, made peace with my miserable past and learned to walk again.
Right now I can't be stopped, I simply refuse to not live my dreams. Reality is just the same no matter what I feel or think, I can only control myself. When it comes to women they now can't resist me, I'm a walking dream to them.
The "red pill" is not what I expected it to be, it never is and that's the point.
