The ultimatum

[BlackJackal]

This is why I stress tellin a girl how it is and what it will be from the beginning. From what I've gather from your OP, you really dig this girl alot. And you want her around cause of her companionship and sex. But you dont and never did want the kind of lifestyle that a relationship brings. If you dont want a relationship then theres nothin wrong with that, but like the post above said, tell her the truth.

It's better that she respects you for what you are than love you for what you're not. You might be scared that she'll stop dealing with you if you tell her the truth, or cut off intimacy at least. But hey, you win some you lose some. Thats life.

 

[afrojiggles]

well...well as far as ur career is dependent on her..then i dont see how u can bail out when u she can help u get some $$ so dont give her up till ur sure u can manage on ur own otherwise....play along take it ano level coz if u bail out now man....getting her back as a friend closer as u are now will be hardest thing u' l ever encounter so pick up the fon and take her pout make her feel gd and that she is the chosen one:rock:

 

[PRMoon]

Okay so it appears that the ultimatum was really just a waring about my composure with her. She called me tonight and asked me to come over to her sisters house (which is AMAZING btw) for dinner. I'd already eaten but i agreed to come over for a drink before I went out clubbing tonight. For a second I thought it was a trap but it turned out to be pretty mellow. Her sister was out of town and she was hanging out with her 16 year old neice and her boyfriend just chilling. When I got there she got me some kind of home made cake her brother in law made. We chatted it up for a little over an hour and she said i should come over their house again and go swiming in their tri level pool (shuper shweet!). Summing it up she didn't even mention me making a decison when to comes to her but I didn't cross any "relationship lines" and she seem to respond well with that. She also said she wants to go on vacation with me some time, like a cruise or something, because she needs a break.

Oh well, sorry for the drama kids. I should of know I could sit this one out in relationship purgetory for at least a few more months while I straighten things out.

 

[nosmirk]

seems like you care about her enough to worry about this.

go for it, dude. life only happens once

 

[Vypros]

Okay so it appears that the ultimatum was really just a waring about my composure with her. She called me tonight and asked me to come over to her sisters house (which is AMAZING btw) for dinner. I'd already eaten but i agreed to come over for a drink before I went out clubbing tonight. For a second I thought it was a trap but it turned out to be pretty mellow. Her sister was out of town and she was hanging out with her 16 year old neice and her boyfriend just chilling. When I got there she got me some kind of home made cake her brother in law made. We chatted it up for a little over an hour and she said i should come over their house again and go swiming in their tri level pool (shuper shweet!). Summing it up she didn't even mention me making a decison when to comes to her but I didn't cross any "relationship lines" and she seem to respond well with that. She also said she wants to go on vacation with me some time, like a cruise or something, because she needs a break.

Oh well, sorry for the drama kids. I should of know I could sit this one out in relationship purgetory for at least a few more months while I straighten things out.

Congratulations, she now has the power in the relationship and is calling the shots.

Why the hell did you run right over there tonight when you had plans to go clubbing?

 

[PRMoon]

Congratulations, she now has the power in the relationship and is calling the shots.

Why the hell did you run right over there tonight when you had plans to go clubbing?

Oh I still went clubbing last night. I went to toa in the venetian with an asian chick (the only way to go into toa). I met some of my connects in there and scoped on the talent inside of the club as well. Sucessful outing but most of them are.

 

[PRMoon]

There you go again with the games. Tsk Tsk. She invited you over because she is HINTING you, she talks about going on a cruise with you, she is HINTING you. Dude she is hinting you as to WHAT she is thinking and what she is expecting from you. Don't just ignore and put this in the backburner/relationship purgetory as you so nicely put it thinking "...oh if SHE doesn't say anything I'm just going to go with the flow..." because thats what it seems your doing. Keep in mind this girl STILL expects something out of you but you still seem to not man up to her. See this is what I don't understand, if a person is genuinly honest with you why can't you be honest right back...?:kick:

I don't think so devane. I firmly believe she's captivated enough by my uniqueness that she's satisfied being in my orbit. She's told me repeatedly that she things i'm a unique individual and one of the few people she can hold a conversation with. She also said she wanted to take me to hawaii with her family before so the cruise thing is nothing new to me. I'm not putting her on the backburner, i'm adjusting and defining the relationship on unspoken terms. We're ATLEAST friends for now, and i have a finite window in which to turn it into something else. She works a lot and isn't really into partying and drinking anymore, so it'll be relatively difficult for her to meet another guy any time soon. Not saying I'm going to wait on this one for years, but I do have some breathing room in which i can take serious time to think things over, not just a few days.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Lastman what are you smoking? There's no reason to think this woman is a hor.

Surely you jest!!! This hor is not his wife yet gives him all the advantages that comes with such a status!!!!!!!!!! She is a hor on the grandest scale!!!!!!!!

Embrace truth and you will see reality for what IT IS!!!!

 

[Wyldfire]

PRMoon...you can't come up with a valid reason not to be exclusive with her except that you want to continue to see others who you say you also care about. Yet, she is the only one you are speaking of in any detail. My take is that you love her and are trying to talk yourself out of it with excuses why you can't commit.

Although she may not be saying anything for the moment, you can bet it's on her mind. If you leave this go for too long it might cause damage to what sounds like something pretty good that you value.

What you need to ask yourself is who would you miss more...her or the others? If you knew you would lose her forever if you didn't let go of the others, what would you do? If all the women you're seeing were drowning and you could only save one...would it be her? If you answer "her" to any of those questions you love her. If that's the case, it's easy to pretend not to feel love for someone when you have them. However, it's impossible to ignore love when the one you love is gone from your life.

Just make sure you know what you stand to lose and be certain you can live with that loss.

 

[NSUballer]

maybe youre like me and cant commit to anybody because youre scared to let anyone get that close to you .