the ultimate ****

[danthemann]

so ive been caught in probably the worst situation possible. Ive been seeing this girl for almost 4 months and weve been on/off in a relationship for a month now. every week she breaks up with me for no reason and the next day shes saying she still wants to be together, few days pass and were back together (my fault i know should never have looked back the first time, but maybe the chase has me wanting more or some wierd illogical reason).

Once were back together, she asks me to bring her stuff and take her out places (fully expecting me to pay) when were gunna hang out and such. me n this chick havent even banged yet and while shes crazy in the sack, she wont let me get any consecutive pumps in on her vag to constitute banging. weve done everything but bang and she claims to have only been with 4 other guys and doesnt want me to hit it and quit it (althought im way more inclinded to do so now than when we first started). I know im good in bed, ive been told so many times before and even she says it, but i simply have the feeling shes getting it on the side. Even with this feeling aside, ive been getting ****ed over every week and then she comes back saying it wont happen again and shes serious this time.

I cant tell if this girl is actually very indecisive and just wants her own time or if shes legit messing with my head for the hell of it or maybe even both. either way she tells me shes looking for a relationship to last a while and tellls me things that would assure me that wed last and then BAM she starts a fight and breaks up and then BAM shes back. All of my friends tell me to walk away and bounce and i even tell myself this, but for whatever reason its seemingly impossible to do so and I know i dont need her.... One side of me thinks shes really this innocent girl she makes herself out to be and the other side of me has a feeling shes the devil inside.

 

[Racecar]

Dan, you can't let her exert such strong control over the relationship. From what you've written, it seems she knows how to manipulate you in order to get what she wants. As a man, you must lead the interaction. It is your responsibility to decide where you two go, what you eat and when you meet. If a woman senses she can take control, she will exploit that control and take you for all you're worth.

You must reframe the relationship. Start by issuing simple compliance tests. Have her give you back rubs and buy you candy. Don't pay for everything. After all, if she won't attend to your sexual needs, why should you attend to her monetary needs?

Why you keep taking her back to begin with? Do you think you can't do any better? Do you like having an emotionally unstable person like her in your life? The answers to these questions should make it pretty clear what you need to do with her.

 

[Iceberg]

Dan, you can't let her exert such strong control over the relationship. From what you've written, it seems she knows how to manipulate you in order to get what she wants. As a man, you must lead the interaction. It is your responsibility to decide where you two go, what you eat and when you meet. If a woman senses she can take control, she will exploit that control and take you for all you're worth.

You must reframe the relationship. Start by issuing simple compliance tests. Have her give you back rubs and buy you candy. Don't pay for everything. After all, if she won't attend to your sexual needs, why should you attend to her monetary needs?

Why you keep taking her back to begin with? Do you think you can't do any better? Do you like having an emotionally unstable person like her in your life? The answers to these questions should make it pretty clear what you need to do with her.

The bolded part is what I agree with 100%.

Your earlier advice might give this guy hope that this is a relationship worth keeping. It isn't.

Don't get me wrong, I've done my share of getting back with crazy ex's. But at lease those ex's were having sex with me.

This is nonsense. Move on.