The ULTIMATE sh!t test

[bigjohnson]

I'm sure you can see how it might be possible for this to occur in a marriage or LTR. You just never know when situations will arise that will cause you to have to actually put effort into making it known that she can't take the reigns.

Yes, in any relationship it will happen once in a while that she will try to "take the reins" and drive the relationship over guardrails and into the river. But not often unless she is a westernized woman, in which case you can pretty much expect it to be a semi-weekly contest. I have no issue with reasonable efforts to keep things straight but I'm not going to give a legal sledgehammer to someone who is predisposed to constantly chafe at the proper healthy order of things.

Thus I stand by my opinion that by and large they (western women) have made themselves only fit for use as toys.

 

[jophil28]

Give your love, time, energy, affection, and attention to a woman who has earned it.

Don't sweat sh*t tests from women who offer nothing of value to you.

THis is GOLD !

 

[edger]

I have mentioned several times that it's too easy to become complacent in a relationship and allow the woman to press the boundaries which ultimately give her more control. As Rollo has said, the absence of power creates a vacuum. Left open, that void will be filled by the woman who will resent the fact that is left to run the show.

Didn't have a chance to read all the replies, so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but some of you guys put too much emphasis on this. If you convey to her that you're only going along with her because you truly don't care which way it goes, then it doesn't matter. It's when you cave into a woman, against your wishes, that she see's you as an AFC.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Women dont 'make' men into betas. Men become betas by continually failing her tests and bending which ever way her wind blows. Now this is not to say to say you should be totally uncompromising, but in matters of character and personal integrity (yes i said it), stand like a rock.

Yes, it is about control - if you don't have it then it rightfully belongs to the woman!!

A man's character and integrity is his foundation for respect!!

Many women want to be "men", because of their NEED for Security. They want to be "men", because they Fear that you are NOT a REAL MAN.
They push on our Boundaries because of their need for constant reassurance that you are a real man.

Yes, I agree, if the man is not a man then she must take on his responsibilities!! Some women want control regardless of the man's stance - if so, then they must be put in their place and the man must take his natural lead!!

 

[edger]

Don't wish things were easier. Wish you were better.

After 11.5 years of marriage I can tell you that all living with a woman amounts to is how well you live up to the challenge.

Speaking of your wife, I never got the chance to comment on your wife's looks when you posted a pic of her a few months back..but, in all honesty, I don't think she's that hot(yet that was also only one picture)..I guess I'd say slightly above average. For a guy who supposedly has his game packed tight, I would've thought you'd had snatched something more attractive. This post isn't intended to flame you by the way.

 

[STR8UP]

Didn't have a chance to read all the replies, so I don't know if this has been mentioned, but some of you guys put too much emphasis on this. If you convey to her that you're only going along with her because you truly don't care which way it goes, then it doesn't matter. It's when you cave into a woman, against your wishes, that she see's you as an AFC.

Her: So honey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?

You: I don't care where do you want to go?

Her: I don't know, I can't decide, you pick.

You: Doesn't matter to me, I could eat anything.

Her: Me too. So where do you want to go?

Pick a freakin restaurant already. She WANTS you to decide FOR her. She trusts that you know her likes and dislikes, which you will take into account when YOU choose, but she wants YOU to make the decision. She wants to feel like you are decisive and in control. Not some wishy washy "whatever" kind of guy.

ONE person has to wear the pants, and it better be YOU.

 

[edger]

As others have said in the past..there's too much negativity on here about women and relationships. Only on here do I hear the worst of worst(as I'd expect). There are a lot of good relationships going very well out there...yeah, good solid relationships with women do exist.

 

[edger]

Her: So honey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?

You: I don't care where do you want to go?

Her: I don't know, I can't decide, you pick.

You: Doesn't matter to me, I could eat anything.

Her: Me too. So where do you want to go?

Pick a freakin restaurant already. She WANTS you to decide FOR her. She trusts that you know her likes and dislikes, which you will take into account when YOU choose, but she wants YOU to make the decision. She wants to feel like you are decisive and in control. Not some wishy washy "whatever" kind of guy.

ONE person has to wear the pants, and it better be YOU.

You're looking into it too much Str8up.

Me personally, I'd take control if I were in that situation, because that's me, but if I didn't, it would be no big deal. Like I said, the only time it's a big deal is when she senses and knows you're going against your wishes.

 

[STR8UP]

Speaking of your wife, I never got the chance to comment on your wife's looks when you posted a pic of her a few months back..but, in all honesty, I don't think she's that hot(yet that was also only one picture)..I guess I'd say slightly above average. For a guy who supposedly has his game packed tight, I would've thought you'd had snatched something more attractive. This post isn't intended to flame you by the way.

With all due respect, you're WAAAAY out of line.

First off, there is no debate that his wife has above average looks. Especially for her age. I don't believe he ever claimed that she was "perfect".

Secondly, everyone has a baseline for attractiveness. On top of that, beauty is subjective. Which means that she has most likely met his criteria for beauty, and that there is a possibility that he might see a 9 where you see a 7. I saw what some of you guys considered to be 9's and 10's on these looks threads, and to be quite honest MOST of those women did nothing for me personally.

I posted something about this in another thread, but it isn't right to judge another man's woman like that, especially when it's nitpicking. I fukking HATE it when some dude tries to impose his tastes on me or if he tries to make me feel like I'm "slumming it" according to HIS tastes.

Point is, everyone has different tastes. And although men choose potential mates FIRST based upon physical beauty, that is not the ONLY criteria you should follow. It's only a starting point.

I'll take a woman who is attractive to ME who has other qualities I am looking for, regardless of what anyone else thinks any day of the week.

 

[STR8UP]

As others have said in the past..there's too much negativity on here about women and relationships. Only on here do I hear the worst of worst(as I'd expect). There are a lot of good relationships going very well out there...yeah, good solid relationships with women do exist.

Your chances of having a successful marriage are less than 50%, if you define "success" as not getting a divorce.

If you define it as "being happy" you can probably safely call your odds at less than 20%.

Is that being "negative" or is that being "realistic"?

With 20% odds I would claim it is the latter.

 

[STR8UP]

You're looking into it too much Str8up.

Me personally, I'd take control if I were in that situation, because that's me, but if I didn't, it would be no big deal. Like I said, the only time it's a big deal is when she senses and knows you're going against your wishes.

It is most certainly a big deal.

It might not be a big deal to YOU, but you can be assured that any indecisiveness will be chalked up as negative "rep points".

That's precisely why most relationships fail. The woman begins to see her man as a woman. She doesn't want a womanly man. She wants you to TAKE CHARGE. She wants you to make decisions for both of you.

I will never forget the reaction I got one night from one of my "good" girlfriends. We went out to eat, and before the waiter returned, she told me what she was going to order. So when the waiter came back to the table, I ordered for both of us. By her reaction (verbal and physical) I knew that I had just bumped up her attraction level immensely.

Then as time went on, I fell into the "where do you want to go? I don't know where do YOU want to go" trap, and she eventually dumped my ass like a week old pizza.

Can't help but wonder if I hadn't turned into a wishy washy pu$$y if she wouldn't have stuck around a bit longer.....

 

[edger]

With all due respect, you're WAAAAY out of line.

First off, there is no debate that his wife has above average looks. Especially for her age. I don't believe he ever claimed that she was "perfect".

Secondly, everyone has a baseline for attractiveness. On top of that, beauty is subjective. Which means that she has most likely met his criteria for beauty, and that there is a possibility that he might see a 9 where you see a 7. I saw what some of you guys considered to be 9's and 10's on these looks threads, and to be quite honest MOST of those women did nothing for me personally.

I posted something about this in another thread, but it isn't right to judge another man's woman like that, especially when it's nitpicking. I fukking HATE it when some dude tries to impose his tastes on me or if he tries to make me feel like I'm "slumming it" according to HIS tastes.

Point is, everyone has different tastes. And although men choose potential mates FIRST based upon physical beauty, that is not the ONLY criteria you should follow. It's only a starting point.

I'll take a woman who is attractive to ME who has other qualities I am looking for, regardless of what anyone else thinks any day of the week.

No, you're right..I said I "guess" she's slightly above avg. in looks, because I was also leaning towards how I thought she was more than slightly above avg. in looks..but she wasn't as hot as I thought she'd have been...to me she looks hot, but not "damn she's hot". Just my opinion though. Nothing to take personally.

And I agree, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..I always say that, it's absolutely true. I should've said it was my opinion, but I didn't think of it.

 

[edger]

It is most certainly a big deal.

It might not be a big deal to YOU, but you can be assured that any indecisiveness will be chalked up as negative "rep points".

That's precisely why most relationships fail. The woman begins to see her man as a woman. She doesn't want a womanly man. She wants you to TAKE CHARGE. She wants you to make decisions for both of you.

I will never forget the reaction I got one night from one of my "good" girlfriends. We went out to eat, and before the waiter returned, she told me what she was going to order. So when the waiter came back to the table, I ordered for both of us. By her reaction (verbal and physical) I knew that I had just bumped up her attraction level immensely.

Then as time went on, I fell into the "where do you want to go? I don't know where do YOU want to go" trap, and she eventually dumped my ass like a week old pizza.

Can't help but wonder if I hadn't turned into a wishy washy pu$$y if she wouldn't have stuck around a bit longer.....

Str8up, I've come across a lot of couples where the husbands/boyfriends oftentimes let their women make decisions, who have been together for 30+ yrs. My parents made it 15 yrs. My mom most of the time(according to her)took control. If she was so miserable in her marriage, then why did it take her 15 yrs to leave my dad? And my mom is a very attractive woman(I think she's 50 or 51 now) who could have any guy she wants. So, she could've bailed on my dad at any given time, and jumped to the next guy and gotten into a serious relationship/marriage...or at least led a life of swinging from guy to guy who she was attracted to.

It's hard to buy that women will settle for guys they perceive as AFC's because there's not enough DJ's out there, as Rollo T. has suggested. Seeing over the yrs through my experiences how women operate, I can never see a woman settling, especially a hot one.

 

[edger]

Your chances of having a successful marriage are less than 50%, if you define "success" as not getting a divorce.

Usually early on BEFORE marriage, a guys true personality comes out. Most people don't get married I'd say till they've been together at least 3+ yrs. By that time, the true personality of whether a guy is a take charge guy or not comes out. So, these women see it before they get married. So, it's hard to buy that marriages fail because the husbands don't take charge.

 

[DavenJuan]

Her: So honey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?

You: I don't care where do you want to go?

Her: I don't know, I can't decide, you pick.

You: Doesn't matter to me, I could eat anything.

Her: Me too. So where do you want to go?

Pick a freakin restaurant already. She WANTS you to decide FOR her. She trusts that you know her likes and dislikes, which you will take into account when YOU choose, but she wants YOU to make the decision. She wants to feel like you are decisive and in control. Not some wishy washy "whatever" kind of guy.

ONE person has to wear the pants, and it better be YOU.

unfortunately sometimes this conversation continues like this...

HER: mE too. Sio where do you want to go?

You: well, i really like this mexican grill we can check out.

her: hmm. no im not sure if i want mexican

You: okay, i like italian tonight, sounds good

Her: italian?? you sure ylou want that? its to many carbs

You: you ask me to make a decision then you still contenmplate?

her: i dont know...maybe im not really that hungry, ill just have a salad.

....sh*T tests with everything.

 

[Mr.Positive]

unfortunately sometimes this conversation continues like this...

HER: mE too. Sio where do you want to go?

You: well, i really like this mexican grill we can check out.

her: hmm. no im not sure if i want mexican

You: okay, i like italian tonight, sounds good

Her: italian?? you sure ylou want that? its to many carbs

You: you ask me to make a decision then you still contenmplate?

her: i dont know...maybe im not really that hungry, ill just have a salad.

....sh*T tests with everything.

LOL...classic, and very true.

I've discussed this type of situation with women before, and I'll tell you this...

A smart woman will try and guide the relationship in the direction she wants it to go BY allowing the man to lead.

It goes something like this..

Her: Where would you like to go to dinner tonight?

You: Babe, I could eat just about anything, what do you feel like tonight?

Her: I remember that mexican place we ate at once that you loved, and also there was that italian place that served the greatest meatballs you raved about..etc..etc.

You: Oh! let's eat at that mexican place, I forgot about it.

Her: Great! (Notice how she only mentioned resturaunts that SHE was interested in eating at).

Both you and her are happy.

That is how a smart woman will steer the relationship.

 

[Mr.Positive]

No, you're right..I said I "guess" she's slightly above avg. in looks, because I was also leaning towards how I thought she was more than slightly above avg. in looks..but she wasn't as hot as I thought she'd have been...to me she looks hot, but not "damn she's hot". Just my opinion though. Nothing to take personally.

And I agree, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..I always say that, it's absolutely true. I should've said it was my opinion, but I didn't think of it.

Edger, IMO, taking cheap shots at someone's wife based upon ONE picture you saw of her is ignorant and lacks class. True beauty is not captured in photographs, IMO.

 

[mrRuckus]

Her: So honey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?
You: I don't care where do you want to go?
Her: I don't know, I can't decide, you pick.
You: Doesn't matter to me, I could eat anything.
Her: Me too. So where do you want to go?
Pick a freakin restaurant already. She WANTS you to decide FOR her.

I saw my ex recently at a bar. She had just dumped her boyfriend of a year the week before. She straight up told me she couldn't stand this type of behavior from him anymore and that she appreciated me more after experiencing the opposite. She hated how he always just volunteered for whatever she wanted or passed every decision off to her as "whatever you want" and wouldn't make any decisions at all as if he had no opinion whatsoever ever.

Of course, actually standing up for yourself makes you "mean," but i digress...

 

[STR8UP]

No, you're right..I said I "guess" she's slightly above avg. in looks, because I was also leaning towards how I thought she was more than slightly above avg. in looks..but she wasn't as hot as I thought she'd have been...to me she looks hot, but not "damn she's hot". Just my opinion though. Nothing to take personally.

And I agree, beauty is in the eye of the beholder..I always say that, it's absolutely true. I should've said it was my opinion, but I didn't think of it.

When I posted my pics thread awhile back i got the same reaction from some people.

For some reason everyone thought I looked like a greek god and the women I know were all perfect "10's".

Of course, as men we look at physical beauty first, but sometimes we DO put our expectations a little high. I try not to do that. I would say that I'm at least slightly above average in the looks department, so I tend to date women who are also above average. I have little need or desire to have a beauty queen, especially since a lot of them are more trouble than they are worth.

 

[STR8UP]

It's hard to buy that women will settle for guys they perceive as AFC's because there's not enough DJ's out there, as Rollo T. has suggested. Seeing over the yrs through my experiences how women operate, I can never see a woman settling, especially a hot one.

Well, sometimes even the AFC's manage to do enough to keep the woman on the line for awhile. I mean, no one is entirely AFC and no one is entirely DJ. We all have both in us.