The ultimate place for picking up mature (or not so mature) women

[STR8UP]

This new store just opened up about a block from my store, I think it's called Total Wine.

It's AWESOME.

Thousands of different wines, over 1000 beers, and the best liquor selection at the best prices you will see anywhere. It's like a superstore for boozehounds...lol

So I go to this store often, and I'm looking around, and there are ALWAYS hot women crawling all over the place.

Now I'm not one for cold approaches, but this place would be a GOLDMINE for someone who is into that sort of thing.

What more could you ask for? Hot women, neutral environment, and PLENTY of reason to strike up a convo.

Anyone heard of it?

 

[speed dawg]

Nope, not yet. Seems like more corporate America chains, only now in the liquor business. The Lowe's of the liquor stores, in other words.

 

[Vulpine]

I've got a local joint that's like a freakin' warehouse. It sound's similar... but where my place is the "bare bones, man-style, git-n-split" shopping experience, your joint sounds like a "curves" or "target" sort of "meander around for hours and hours picking up stuff, smelling it, hold it up to the light, pause for reflection, listen to the jazzy muzak, ask your girlfriend what she thinks, giggle about the cute college guy with two cases of busch light under his harms" type of place.

Is that right? Do they have samples on the end of every other aisle?

 

[speed dawg]

your joint sounds like a "curves" or "target" sort of "meander around for hours and hours picking up stuff, smelling it, hold it up to the light, pause for reflection, listen to the jazzy muzak, ask your girlfriend what she thinks, giggle about the cute college guy with two cases of busch light under his harms" type of place.

Is that right? Do they have samples on the end of every other aisle?

Hey, now. Publix kicks ass...

 

[mzilla2]

Good tip, will check it out a bit more... With advent of summer, I've also found coffee shops w/ patios and the outdoor strip malls to support decent populations of target species....

I'll hit a coffee shop every night on my way to the offleash, and get some shoppin' done on weekend. Things I needed to do anyhow and not outta my way or our undue time. The dawg is a great draw, but that's not why I got him (had a LTR when I got him). He sure softens the cold approach a bit tho...

 

[STR8UP]

I've got a local joint that's like a freakin' warehouse. It sound's similar... but where my place is the "bare bones, man-style, git-n-split" shopping experience, your joint sounds like a "curves" or "target" sort of "meander around for hours and hours picking up stuff, smelling it, hold it up to the light, pause for reflection, listen to the jazzy muzak, ask your girlfriend what she thinks, giggle about the cute college guy with two cases of busch light under his harms" type of place.

Is that right? Do they have samples on the end of every other aisle?

Not really. It's upscale, but not pretentious. More warehousey, but nice.

You got the freaky type chicks in the beer section scoping the latest micro brews, the professional types shopping for wine, and all kinds of women in the liquor section.

Quite an assortment.

 

[MatureDJ]

How long could you legitimately hang around there? 15 minutes?

It's not like a coffee shop where you could hang around for an hour or two.

And in any case, I would tend to think that any unattached woman that took up that much of an interest in the type of booze she wants to drink could have some booze issues (and this is coming from someone who actually does go to such stores to get microbrews.)

 

[Vulpine]

Have you ever been shopping with a woman, MatureDJ?

Of course you have.

Then you should know that some chicks will make an afternoon out of spinning a quarter through one of those little sticker/toy/gadget vending machines.

"OMG, omg, OMG!!!! They have Hello Kitty stickers!!!!?? Ooooh-oooh, they've got grabby hands, too! No... wait, what are these? Oh, no way, I'm getting one of these mini glow sticks! They're just like these ones I use to get one I went to raves! There was this one rave I went to...
*insert quarter*
*blah blah blah for five minutes*
*1/8 rotation*
*blah blah blah for five minutes*
*1/8 rotation*
*blah blah blah for five minutes*
*1/8 rotation*
*blah blah blah for five minutes*
...Hey, what's wrong with this thing? *shake, rattle* Come ON! *shake, shake, smack* GIVE ME MY GLOW STICK!"

Can you imagine the craziness at the liquor store?

"OMG, omg, OMG!!!! They have Malibu!!!!?? Hey look, there's Goldschlager. Ooooh-oooh, they've got Alize! No... wait, what's this? It looks pretty cool. Frangelico? I hear this stuff is super yummy! Oh, no way, I'm getting some X-rated!" Er... do you just want to get wine? Ok, what kind? You know what, nah, let's get wine coolers! Yeah! When was the last time you had wine coolers? *giggle, giggle, clap, giggle, jump around* The last time I had a wine cooler was at Jeffy's party - do you remember that? What were those? Melonade-berry-citric acid explosion? OMG, That was sooooooo funny when Jeffy....................................

....


....


....


...

!!"

:crazy:

Older women aren't much better.

"Oh, this looks nice. It says here: "Made in France". I didn't know Grey Goose was made in France... let's not get it, then. I can't stand the French. Now, here we go. Grey Goose Citron. Hey, this is made in France, too! Wait, is Grey Goose Lemon made by Grey Goose also? Wow! I didn't know that. Does that mean this this Grey Goose one is French, too? Aww... that's too bad. The bottles are so pretty, with the little chickens on there, and the clear and frosted parts of the glass... *caress bottle* Oh well. Hey, look at that bottle! 'VOX!' That's a crazy bottle! Where do you think that one is made?"

By the time chicks would get out, the sun would be down and their "picnic" would be a "let's stop and get a movie, then" deal.

"Which one did you want to see? I heard this one was good..."

ON AND ON!!!!

:crazy:

:nervous:

:cuss:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

STR8UP, two words, Panera Bread. Holy Mother Mary! The one at the Florida Mall just crawls with hot women like this.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Vulpine,

These are for you: :flowers:

That was some of the funniest sh!t I've read in a long fvcking time!



STR8UP and Rollo,

Hell yes on Panera bread. They recently opened 2 shops here in Lakeland one on the southside and the latest one here on the northside, in the same shopping center as a Michaels crafts store, Linens and things and Target.

If you can't score a MILF around this fvcking place it's YOUR fvcking fault!

 

[dr_devious]

Is this pulling in malls an American thing? Over here in the UK its not a done thing, unless youre about 13 or 14. How old can you get away with it in the States?

 

[STR8UP]

Hell yes on Panera bread. They recently opened 2 shops here in Lakeland one on the southside and the latest one here on the northside, in the same shopping center as a Michaels crafts store, Linens and things and Target.

If you can't score a MILF around this fvcking place it's YOUR fvcking fault!

If one day I decide to look for a MILF I know where to come....lol!

Yea, Panera attracts its share of hotties.

I know Dish hangs out downtown from time to time, but have you or Rollo ever hung out anywhere in Thornton Park after about 6:00?

WOW.

I love driving down Central Ave. passing the wine bar and the sushi joint in the evening. Ooooohweeee!

 

[edger]

And might I add, that 80's Metal band shows/concerts are another GREAT place to pick up MILF's. I wouldn't say go to a Poison concert though, cause you'd most likely be mistakened as an AFC since their songs tend to be lovey dovey, unless you're with your chick, in which case it's usually implied that you're there because your girlfriend wanted you to go with her.

 

[STR8UP]

And might I add, that 80's Metal band shows/concerts are another GREAT place to pick up MILF's. I wouldn't say go to a Poison concert though, cause you'd most likely be mistakened as an AFC since their songs tend to be lovey dovey, unless you're with your chick, in which case it's usually implied that you're there because your girlfriend wanted you to go with her.

Not much into the MILFS, but this reminds me of a bar here that plays all the 80's hair band music. It attracts plenty of the PBR drinking doofuses, but also quite a few women, younger and older. Got to stop by there again one of these days.