I apologize in advance for my lack of organization. Not sure where to begin, but I really need some outside perspective. I'm a long time lurker arguably in my "prime," but not receiving the level of fulfillment I had imagined. I've had my struggles with anxiety and depression over the years but I made it to the point where I now make well over six figures, and an easy minimum of 8 as far as looks and fitness (very muscular). I've slept with and dated enough women. I should mention I do live with family and dpnt think this hurt me much with getting to where I want. It leaves.many options open for me. So, I have been in a ltr of sorts for a year with someone who has the least amount of red flags I can see possible in this era. Much younger with low partner count. I find that I value the ltr a bit more than she does, but I am at my happiest when spending time together (which is very infrequent) and when not putting out fires related to their fickle inconsistent emotional states.
The major issue is I am not number one ( but likely very close) on the high score list. This is mainly due to timing and not an objective side by side comparison with number one. Yes, I know oneitis is an appropriate assessment here and the answer is a very simple spin plates, expand my social circle and get more hobbies and make the woman my side dish and not the entree in my life. The problem is despite being in my early 30s and looking younger, as I get older the access to women young enough to top the hsl decreases.
I spent all of this time improving myself for what? I do have masculine hobbies but feel I could have more and something is missing to complete the package. Guys, I can't emphasize enough that you can work on yourself forever and be the total package, but social proof trumps all. Of course the other attributes can combine to make decent social proof, but being somewhat of an introvert detracts immensely and can easily ruin the rest. I have always had difficulty making friends, and as a guy in your 30s it seems almost impossible. Most of my friends are scattered due to myself and them relocating over the years. I could visit them solo and this may stir up some healthy jealousy or maybe it creates a competition of sorts where it increases her undesirable behaviors such as girls nights out. Im worried ive put myself aside too much and appear too idle just to maintain mutual respect. Honestly time spent with guy friends isnt as enjoyable anyway as it was in the past, but it is still a health necessity. Im just sick of having to withdraw attention amd balancong (in)security, alternating between game and game light. I want to finally start enjpying life and enjoying the rewards of my sacrifices but unsure how.
The margin for error is so small in this day and you probably need to successfully pairbond before 30 as a guy and idealy with someone under 25 and the other Des criteria. We too have a wall or walls of sorts. True we have more options and a better chance to live an enjoyable life with increasing age, but still guys you must recognize this. I feel I still have time to get what I want here but slowly my window is closing and wish I got to my prime at 27 or 28.
Call my want for companionship beta pvssy sh!t if you like. Not sure if this girl will put in the appropriate effort and waiting for improvement seems increasingly foolish. Sometimes shes all about me, but just as often I feel my value goes unrecognized. Id like to spend more time together but I understand that familiarity will bring its own set of problems. I think the online, social media era is root of the problem and maybe a checkmate for ltr and maybe mgtow or spinning plates are the only answers. I just dont have interest in either. Not sure where to go from here.
The major issue is I am not number one ( but likely very close) on the high score list. This is mainly due to timing and not an objective side by side comparison with number one. Yes, I know oneitis is an appropriate assessment here and the answer is a very simple spin plates, expand my social circle and get more hobbies and make the woman my side dish and not the entree in my life. The problem is despite being in my early 30s and looking younger, as I get older the access to women young enough to top the hsl decreases.
I spent all of this time improving myself for what? I do have masculine hobbies but feel I could have more and something is missing to complete the package. Guys, I can't emphasize enough that you can work on yourself forever and be the total package, but social proof trumps all. Of course the other attributes can combine to make decent social proof, but being somewhat of an introvert detracts immensely and can easily ruin the rest. I have always had difficulty making friends, and as a guy in your 30s it seems almost impossible. Most of my friends are scattered due to myself and them relocating over the years. I could visit them solo and this may stir up some healthy jealousy or maybe it creates a competition of sorts where it increases her undesirable behaviors such as girls nights out. Im worried ive put myself aside too much and appear too idle just to maintain mutual respect. Honestly time spent with guy friends isnt as enjoyable anyway as it was in the past, but it is still a health necessity. Im just sick of having to withdraw attention amd balancong (in)security, alternating between game and game light. I want to finally start enjpying life and enjoying the rewards of my sacrifices but unsure how.
The margin for error is so small in this day and you probably need to successfully pairbond before 30 as a guy and idealy with someone under 25 and the other Des criteria. We too have a wall or walls of sorts. True we have more options and a better chance to live an enjoyable life with increasing age, but still guys you must recognize this. I feel I still have time to get what I want here but slowly my window is closing and wish I got to my prime at 27 or 28.
Call my want for companionship beta pvssy sh!t if you like. Not sure if this girl will put in the appropriate effort and waiting for improvement seems increasingly foolish. Sometimes shes all about me, but just as often I feel my value goes unrecognized. Id like to spend more time together but I understand that familiarity will bring its own set of problems. I think the online, social media era is root of the problem and maybe a checkmate for ltr and maybe mgtow or spinning plates are the only answers. I just dont have interest in either. Not sure where to go from here.
