The turn-a-round

LittleDon

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Often, when a girl gets mad at a guy for something he did, the guy totally blows it by begging her for her forgiveness. This gives her all the power and keeps him in the wrong.

There is a way to turn this around though. So much so that you doing something wrong can actually be a good thing! The trick is to first not show any guilt, don’t let her know you feel like you did something wrong. Secondly you need to find something you can be mad at her about and focus on that. When a girl is put on the defensive its amazing how quickly they can forget about how mad they were at you. All they will be thinking about is how to not have you upset with them. They will in turn end up begging you for your forgiveness.

For example, the other night, this girl who i dont know got on the computer WITH my girlfriend and her friend right there, i of course had no clue my girlfriend was right there reading everything i said. This girl started asking me questions, one of which was if i was dating anybody, i said i was dating a few girls. She then let me know that she knew my girlfriend and that she was sitting right there with her reading what i said. They apparently were trying to find out bad stuff about me so that my girlfriend wouldnt get hurt.

After that I was thinking, oh crap, I screwed myself this time. I had three girls extremely pissed off at me, and the girl that im involved with went into another room crying. At first all I could think to do was to call her up and apologize. Meanwhile the girls went over to another house so I had some time to think of what I should do. The main thing that came to my mind was that I was losing control, that the girl was getting the ball in her court. I needed to step up and take the control back.

How could I do this? I had three girls extremely pissed off at me, not to mention the fact that I was made a fool of by the way I got played. Then it came to me, I could dump her right then and there! Drastic you think? Maybe, but I had a feeling it would turn things around.

When the girl got back on instant messenger I started things off with, “ok, im sorry you got hurt, but you know that shouldn’t of hurt you, you know how I feel about you. But im not going to give you any excuses for me dating other girls, because i dont need to, if you are going to be like this now theres no way i can be with you, for one thing, i have a zero tolerance for girls that play stupid games like that, secondly, you do not trust me.” What this did was focus the wrong on her, I acted mad at her because she played a game on me, and I was not going to put up with it. I then said “im breaking this off right now, your getting too far into this, ive been trying to take it slow with you so that you wouldn’t get hurt, but you are. I was dating other girls way before me and you got involved.” This worked perfectly, first it showed that I didn’t need her, that I had other girls, and she ended up begging me not to be mad at her and leave her. Later on in the night I talked to the other girls that were mad at me. What I did with them was chew them out for playing a stupid game like that; I acted like I was extremely pissed. They ended up actually pleading with me not to be mad at them.

I couldn’t believe how well I was actually able to turn things around. I started off with the girl im dating ready to leave me, and her two friends pissed off at me. By the end of the night the girl had begged me to not be upset with her and to not leave her, and her two friends were actually relieved that I forgave them.

Let this be a lesson guys. You are THE MAN; you have the power to take things wherever you choose. Do not let yourselves be controlled by women. Never beg; never give in out of fear that you will loose them. Force them to give in out of fear that they will loose you.

*Note, this mostly applies to the younger guys here.

LittleDon


[This message has been edited by LittleDon (edited 08-12-2000).]

[This message has been edited by LittleDon (edited 08-12-2000).]
 

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Anti-Dump

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LittleDon,

Well you certainly handled that very good.

But next time remember this. When a girl INITIATES romance something bad is probably going to happen.

That girl was INITIATING dating by asking you 'are you seeing anybody?' You didn't know this girl at all. So she was starting something. Next time a girl calls you by phone or by computer make sure you turn your radar on.

You must do the asking for romance. When THEY do it watch out!

Anti-Dump
 

LittleDon

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AD, im not sure if i was clear, but what happend was this girl, who doesnt know me, got on the computer and started talking to me WITH my girlfriend and her friend sitting right there with her. I of course had no clue that my girlfriend was right there reading everything i said. What they were doing was trying to find out bad stuff about me, there excuse was that they were trying to keep my girlfriend from getting hurt. So what happend was my girlfriend saw me say that i was dating a few girls and she and her friends got really upset. Thats what the situation was. Just thought id clear this up as i think it was a little vague in the post.

AD ive hear you talk about this before, about if a girl initiates a relationship it will usually not turn out good. Could you explain this a little?

i edited the first post so that it made more sense.

LittleDon

[This message has been edited by LittleDon (edited 08-12-2000).]
 

Dee-Zy

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HOLLY F#CK!!!
THAT IZ GOOD!!!
Wow! I can't even put my thoughts down!
U handle tha situation mo then great!!!
Fo a moment there( in yo story) I thought you were D-E-A-D!
I'll keep that in mind when I'll screw up!


Thanks
Peace Out
DZ

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AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!
 

Anti-Dump

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LittleDon,

I understood your original post.

I was trying to tie in that girl asking about your love life with girls initiating a relationship.

To me, if a women asks about my love life a bell goes off. Why the hell is she asking? I didn't show any interest in her. Is she trying to hook me up with someone? Does she want to start something with me?

In all cases the answer would be NO.

What happened to you was a trick. But if you were suspicious of a girl asking about your dating habits you might have caught it for a different reason.

I guess it's too complicated to explain. All I'm saying is, when a girl asks about if you are seeing someone, wonder why she is asking.

About the subject of girls initiating a relationship. I'm sorry but I just explained that to Robert Jordan in "What's YOUR story..." topic tonight. In the Questions and Problems section.
I hope you don't mind if I don't write it all over. Sorry.

Anti-Dump
 
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Dee-Zy

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AD help meh out on this situation then.
I had this crush on this girl for 3 years.
(Now I just learned that she didn't know a thing)
So I got her number this year, called her up, and after the Hi, How your doing, theyre wuz this ackward silence,
(I wuz like F#CK F#CK F#CK)
then she pops out, so how's yo love life...
now does that mean A:
I had no chance with her starting from then?

:Confused:
Peace Out
DZ

------------------
AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!
 

Robert Jordon

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Thats a very interesting story LD! You showed her that you were in control of everything and she respected you for that! Good work !

Rob
 

Dee-Zy

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Oh AD
Thanks fer helping meh with this girl crush fer 3 years thing but I just wanted to know, did I lost it from there??? My friend says girls do that all tha time and she used to talk about it to most guys anyways...
Tell meh what you think, did I lost it from there? oh and please, don't post comments in a different post, I get confused...

Thanks
DZ

------------------
AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!
 

Dee-Zy

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My own thread?

Peace Out
DZ

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AZN THUGZ NEVER DIE!!! AZN THUGZ 4EVA ALIVE!!
Prepare yoself fer the KayZeez y'all!!!
 
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Wrangler 5k

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Hey good job!

One thing I don't get about people is they ask a question, and try to draw it out of you, and if it's an answer that they don't wanna hear, then you're the one in trouble. I don't get it! They wanted to hear an answer, the person who answers should NEVER be the one in trouble in a situation like this.

A tip, never ask a question if you suspect the answer is one you don't wanna hear.




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Rope 'em and ride 'em!
YAHOO!
 

thecraftylefty

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You're right Mystic. Bump indeed. Instead of re-posting the same old material over and over bump up the old stuff. I personally like it better and feel that some of the guys struggling could use a boost from reading from some of the first guys to post on this site and what it really means to be a Don Juan.

"If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

thecraftylefty
 

killerasp

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taht some good stuff. keep up the good tips for us ever learning DJ's
 
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Cappo Yung

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Yes, you handle that situation wonderfully. If I was in your shoes at that time I would’ve done otherwise.

Actually I dont know what I’d do to be honest ...

But as of right now 2020, This post will be in my arsenal in case a situtation like this stroll by.
Then again, with Anti-Dump’s advice on this thread, we should be somewhat good, I think.
 

andreihaha

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Pretty awsome save here, not everyone has the bawlls for this.
But I actually think that you can get away with stuff even without blaming them. As long as you don't seem to feel guilty.
There was a time in my life when I would actually ask girls if they would take my cuum in their mouth or if they did it before. It felt wrong. And I never ended up doing that stuff in the end.
Untill this time a while ago. First night with a new girl, she was giving me a great bl0wjob, so good that I actually stopped giving a fvck about what she's gonna think. I blew my whole load into her mouth. It felt glorious for a few seconds, until I see her raising her head and looking into my eyes. She seemed a little pissed off.

This was my chance to apologise. But it didn't feel wrong. It felt good. So in those few seconds or tension and silence, I knew I had only one thing to do: act like nothing happened. I just threw a "That was great" look, layed on my back and closed my eyes. And the rest is history.
No woman made me feel guilty about it since.
 

touma.akagi

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“ok, im sorry you got hurt, but you know that shouldn’t of hurt you, you know how I feel about you. But im not going to give you any excuses for me dating other girls, because i dont need to, if you are going to be like this now theres no way i can be with you, for one thing, i have a zero tolerance for girls that play stupid games like that, secondly, you do not trust me.” What this did was focus the wrong on her, I acted mad at her because she played a game on me, and I was not going to put up with it. I then said “im breaking this off right now, your getting too far into this, ive been trying to take it slow with you so that you wouldn’t get hurt, but you are. I was dating other girls way before me and you got involved.”

mmmm, unless the girl specifically asks for an explanation of this sort, it's hardly necessary. Point of personal preference, maybe I'm just nit picking, but I've always found it best not to explain more than's absolutely necessary.

"I'm sorry you're hurt, but I'm not in a committed relationship. I don't care to play guilt games." That's a lot more concise, to-the-point. Then if she asks more questions it is then appropriate to go into more detail.

It's generally not a great idea to act mad at her unless she's already made great efforts to waste your time and money, but again, I might be nitpicking
 
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