"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
the truth about getting women
- Thread starter The Spider
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I disagree with that because most of who we are before 18 its not ourself,it's what our parents and the school system made us.
Just clone john wayne and give him to a feminist single mother who send him in a "new age" school where he is not allowed to play any manly sport and have to kiss women ass in order to pass his tests.
You aint going to have a cowboy but just an average shy guy afraid of the world that see any girl talking to him like a gift from the sky.
Teachers telling you that is wrong to do anything manly make the same damages to a young man mind than the ones a elephant would do in a jewelry.
The real individual really become himself only after getting rid of those boundaries,wheter you like it or not what we are before 18/20 it's just what family and school shaped us to be,later it comes society but we can choose many more ways.
Just clone john wayne and give him to a feminist single mother who send him in a "new age" school where he is not allowed to play any manly sport and have to kiss women ass in order to pass his tests.
You aint going to have a cowboy but just an average shy guy afraid of the world that see any girl talking to him like a gift from the sky.
Teachers telling you that is wrong to do anything manly make the same damages to a young man mind than the ones a elephant would do in a jewelry.
The real individual really become himself only after getting rid of those boundaries,wheter you like it or not what we are before 18/20 it's just what family and school shaped us to be,later it comes society but we can choose many more ways.
I am living proof that this isn't true. I had far more success with women in my 20s then I did at 17/18. It did get better for me. I'm sure you could find lots of other guys who would say the same thing. Take this legendary testimonial from http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=83349 for example:
"I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's... I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school."
I'm sure there are many other regular guys who could tell the same story. I'm sure there are elderly men who would say that they've having far more sex then they've ever had with women, even if it has everything to do with their bankbooks. Then there are guys like Chris Rock who say they never got laid before they hit it big but are now marrying models. Some guys will peak in high school. Other guys have more success when they're older. The way I see it, if you're a zero at 17/18, you have nowhere to go but up. Even if you stay a zero your whole life it shouldn't matter because you should be used to it.
"I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's... I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school."
I'm sure there are many other regular guys who could tell the same story. I'm sure there are elderly men who would say that they've having far more sex then they've ever had with women, even if it has everything to do with their bankbooks. Then there are guys like Chris Rock who say they never got laid before they hit it big but are now marrying models. Some guys will peak in high school. Other guys have more success when they're older. The way I see it, if you're a zero at 17/18, you have nowhere to go but up. Even if you stay a zero your whole life it shouldn't matter because you should be used to it.
Nexus Polaris
Senior Don Juan
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This is only true in the sense that most people that start something later in life do not commit themselves to it to the same degree that younger people do. They do not approach it with the same passion and dedication. The potential for the same (or even better) mastery is still there.Lexington said:
An aunt of mine began carving birds and things out of wood in her sixties and got so good at it that she ended up winning nationwide contests comprised of people half her age.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
nismo-4
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Spider, this is a web of complete bullsh*t! I hope the newbies don't buy this. This is a myth used to down people on the come up.The Spider said:
I was a huge underdog in high school, which btw was an all boys school. I was ribbed a lot for not having a girl. But in later years, I made a change and it worked out in my favor! Then I started delivering pizzas with a tricked out car and women was loving me!
Some men go the money route. Some men go the status route. Some men go the looks route.
But just remember that it all starts with YOU. Do what makes YOU happy because YOU want to. Remember that life ain't fair and that life is not etched in stone. Set your goals and just do it like Nike.
BananaSmile
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big load of bs
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Mods, please eliminate this cancerous post
The_last_Gunslinger
Don Juan
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I disagree Spider. I normally like disagreeing with blanket statements. 
I never got laid in my teens. In fact I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21.
I was a late bloomer. Like some of our younger friends on this board. Its easy to look at yourself in your teens and get down about your situation. The fact is your hardly in control of anything in your teens, even yourself.
As a late bloomer It took me until my early 20s for me to grow into my features and looks. It may seem silly but its very true. My cheekbones became higher and more prominent, My brow deepened and I started putting on weight. It wasn't until this began did I notice women giving me the big eye. It was very new to me, at first I thought girls were teasing me, it took some friends to sit me down and explain that they were flirting with me, since I had no idea what flirting from a woman looked or sounded like.
So I had to learn about game and women late in life, because I was eager to give up early on. You'll never know were life will take you, or the power of your own determination. Making "life changing" decisions in your teens is not a good idea.
Many young men, especially in their teens and in some cases their early 20s should focus on self improvement, game, and patience. As we all know a man gets better with age, our sexual value and social status increases. This is why patience and a plan for the long term are important.
A man who has patience has everything.
You may not be getting laid now, but that does not mean by any stretch of the imagination that you NEVER will.
Happy trails men.
I never got laid in my teens. In fact I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. I was a late bloomer. Like some of our younger friends on this board. Its easy to look at yourself in your teens and get down about your situation. The fact is your hardly in control of anything in your teens, even yourself.
As a late bloomer It took me until my early 20s for me to grow into my features and looks. It may seem silly but its very true. My cheekbones became higher and more prominent, My brow deepened and I started putting on weight. It wasn't until this began did I notice women giving me the big eye. It was very new to me, at first I thought girls were teasing me, it took some friends to sit me down and explain that they were flirting with me, since I had no idea what flirting from a woman looked or sounded like.
So I had to learn about game and women late in life, because I was eager to give up early on. You'll never know were life will take you, or the power of your own determination. Making "life changing" decisions in your teens is not a good idea.
Many young men, especially in their teens and in some cases their early 20s should focus on self improvement, game, and patience. As we all know a man gets better with age, our sexual value and social status increases. This is why patience and a plan for the long term are important.
A man who has patience has everything.
You may not be getting laid now, but that does not mean by any stretch of the imagination that you NEVER will.
Happy trails men.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed a good laugh every once and a while. A true gem! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
I didn't lose my v-card until I was 19 and I have only had sex with four women. The number is low because since that point I have had a two year long relationship and a relationship that is currently at seven months.
Terrible thread
- Comic_Relief
I didn't lose my v-card until I was 19 and I have only had sex with four women. The number is low because since that point I have had a two year long relationship and a relationship that is currently at seven months.
Terrible thread
- Comic_Relief
as a Grad student in clinical psychology.. here is how I conceptualize your case spider guy
my own assumption here, and im going to talk out of my ass, just like you did... is that you are probably in your early 20s probably, at least you are not close to being 25 up anytime soon.
i believe that you are speaking from your own scheme of looking at things, your own view of reality. As we know, since I hope you are a student of self improvement and different topics, that reality only exists in the mind of the thinker, and that tehre is no "set" reality
your own experiences have made you state, as a final conclusion without doing proper research on the topic, that if you are 17 and you havent had success with women, then you doomed in the future.
do you know of actual studies that have been conducted that have measured relationship outcomes in longitudinal studies done to individuals at 17 years of age .... that divided them into those who are social and adequate skills with women and those who arent.... and then followed them up after 10 years, to see how both groups are doing...
Im going to say that yes a valid hypothesis is to state that behavior is patterned, and it stays the same, people do not change that easily. But that is just another population
Every single person in this forum comes from a different perspective, the perspective of self improvement and beatting the odds. They are willing to make something happen. for them the past does not equal the future.... I myself am a perfect example
I wasnt successful with women until my early 20s, when i started studying these social dynamics and DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT... i DECIDED to get myself out there and take action, and as a result success began to open my eyes....
so If I was you, i would apologize to everyone in the forum for childish statements supported by no evidence.. but your own which inmediately becomes discredited, since it has no empirical proof.
It doesnt matter if you are 40... the minute you step out of your house and hit the field to interact with people, you begin to learn, if you consistently develop your skills, you will eventually get consistent results....
what the OP stated is called LEARNED HELPLESSNESS...... it is learned, therefore, it can be unlearned. search on learned optimism by seligman,,, positive psychology.
i suggest this post to get inmediately erased, there are many people in this forum who are hypersensitive to these kind of remarks, and it can cause them to lose hope,,,, just because of someone else's ignorant statements
my own assumption here, and im going to talk out of my ass, just like you did... is that you are probably in your early 20s probably, at least you are not close to being 25 up anytime soon.
i believe that you are speaking from your own scheme of looking at things, your own view of reality. As we know, since I hope you are a student of self improvement and different topics, that reality only exists in the mind of the thinker, and that tehre is no "set" reality
your own experiences have made you state, as a final conclusion without doing proper research on the topic, that if you are 17 and you havent had success with women, then you doomed in the future.
do you know of actual studies that have been conducted that have measured relationship outcomes in longitudinal studies done to individuals at 17 years of age .... that divided them into those who are social and adequate skills with women and those who arent.... and then followed them up after 10 years, to see how both groups are doing...
Im going to say that yes a valid hypothesis is to state that behavior is patterned, and it stays the same, people do not change that easily. But that is just another population
Every single person in this forum comes from a different perspective, the perspective of self improvement and beatting the odds. They are willing to make something happen. for them the past does not equal the future.... I myself am a perfect example
I wasnt successful with women until my early 20s, when i started studying these social dynamics and DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT... i DECIDED to get myself out there and take action, and as a result success began to open my eyes....
so If I was you, i would apologize to everyone in the forum for childish statements supported by no evidence.. but your own which inmediately becomes discredited, since it has no empirical proof.
It doesnt matter if you are 40... the minute you step out of your house and hit the field to interact with people, you begin to learn, if you consistently develop your skills, you will eventually get consistent results....
what the OP stated is called LEARNED HELPLESSNESS...... it is learned, therefore, it can be unlearned. search on learned optimism by seligman,,, positive psychology.
i suggest this post to get inmediately erased, there are many people in this forum who are hypersensitive to these kind of remarks, and it can cause them to lose hope,,,, just because of someone else's ignorant statements
starplayer
Senior Don Juan
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OK well I'm gonna go against what i said before and reply because this thread's got longer now.The Spider said:
I don't know if you're a troll who just wanted to stir up sh!t on this forum. Or maybe you're a guy who's lost hope and wants people to reassure him. Or maybe things aren't working out for you and you just want to suck everyone else down to your level like those "True Forced Loneliness" people.
Whatever the reason for you posting this, I have to say that your "truth" is actually false.
Will someone be at a disadvantage if they haven't been very successful at a younger age? Yes, of course there will be a need for hard work and self-improvement which varies from person to person. But in the end a real improvement can be made. You just have to conquer that learning curve.
It's like learning a language. English is my first language, I learned it when I was young. It was not something I consciously thought about learning, it just happened easily like for everyone learning a language when they're young. However, when people try to learn another language in high school it's much more difficult. Some pick it up easier than others. But with hard work and experience it can be done. It just begins to CLICK one day, but it requires a lot of dedication before then.
Personally, I had very little success with women before a couple of years ago. Am I knee-deep in pvssy now? Unfortunately not. But I've had far more success in the last 2 years than in the rest of my life put together. More success than I would have ever believed. I went from having NOTHING to flirting with girls and getting them attracted to me, making out with loads of girls and sleeping with a few of them as ONS and FB. And I haven't even worked that hard at it yet. I'm still quite young and I've still got a lot of self-improvement to do.
And many other guys on this forum have had similar experiences. It's not easy but it can be done.
Remember, from around the age of 18 a man's sexual value usually increases while a woman's decreases.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.HolyG said:
make your life interesting and do stuff that you think are fun.
- comic_relief
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.