The Texting Game. Need Advice.

[Smok1nAce]

So i started texting this girl. not really interested but my dad set me up so ill give it a shot. I dont go on many dates so i texted her and said the fallowing...

Yesterday.
ME: Hey this is __ ,____ son, my dad works with your mother. How Is it Going?
Her: Hey! Im good. How are you?

ME: im pretty good, hows your summer going?
Her: Very Boring!!! Yours?

Me:Im enjoying it. Why is it boring?
Her: I never have anything to do!!!

Me: do you want to grab a cup of coffee sometime this week?
Her:Coffee?? How about food?
::she then send me a pic, didnt even ask, hard to tell what shee looks like but maybe a HB4::

Me:I normally get coffee first before i go out to dinner, whats you last name by the way?
Her:lol....Okay...im cool with that...So When you want do this.? And ___

Me:We can meet at ___ in ___Does saturday at noon work for you?
Her can we move it to 11 I have a choir rehearsal? did you get my pic?

Me: sure thats fine. and yes. nice picture.
Her: Okay sounds cool. send me a picture if you dont mind.

Me: ::send pic::
Her:You're handsome.
Me:Thank You.

Now Today she said this.
::At Noon::

Her:Good afternoon...
Me:Good afternoon.

::In the evening::

Her: What you doing tonight?
Me:Might go to my brothers. WBU?
Her: Nothing...LOL.....I dont work so i guess just chill


I didnt respond cause i really want to wait to talk to her, so we have somthing to talk about on the date.

What are your opinions, Im new to this and ive been gone from the "game" for awhile. jus want to know if im doing alright?

 

[TheCWord]

You're going to get hit with a flood of really good advice here - about how you're doing too much texting and it's mostly fluff, etc... And 99% of the time that's great advice...

BUT, want to flag something here for you... Sounds like she's a religious, church-going gal who might be as inexperienced at dating as you are. Some of the stuff we preach on SoSuave may be a little extreme for both of your personalities (if not handled properly).

Reading her texts and seeing how enthused she is - and inferring that she doesn't do a lot of dating either - I think you should proceed and seek advice about how to keep yourself feeling confident and in control going forward with this girl, and any others, and less about how to keep her interested. I'm just too worried that with two church-y folk who don't date much, you're liable to go too far with some of the advice and end up being unnecessarily cold.

Don't give too much too soon. Let her bring up any relationship talk - and don't go that route any sooner than two months. Keep her off a pedestal. Keep yourself busy so as to not be needy.

 

[Smok1nAce]

ive been lurking this site for awhile, I am inexperienced with relationships but not with sex,(i broke up with a BPD, women, then went into deep depression, im out of it but im still often unsure of myself)(I basically had a good dose of the red pill). in the pic she had tattoos and looks kinda like a hood rat. Do you think im getting Friend Zoned?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Based on the text, she sounds more into you that you are into her.

That's a good thing. Keep it that way.

Stay a bit aloof when talking to her, don't text too much, and give her plenty of time in between to "think about you."

Go easy on the dates and don't push it until you feel comfortable.

However, you did mention that maybe she's an hb4, so you might want to be careful.

You don't want to break her heart and get your dad in trouble.

 

[Greasy Pig]

A girl with tatts probably likes it up the butt too.
Avoid too much conversational texting. You seem to be doing well with your brief answers.
If your dad has set you up, you're in a tight spot. Good luck.

 

[Partizan]

You don't need advice here. She is all over you and then some.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Maybe its just me, but if she's a 4, why are you even wasting your time?

I get that you are inexperienced in dating etc, so if your just using her for practice & to rebuild your self esteem after the BPD nightmare I get it.

Separately, even though she clearly has high interest. I'd suggest keeping your text a bit shorter.

Also spice it up a bit, use some wit and humor in there.

The texts you guys are exchanging are boring.....haha

Also I'm not sure how you are in leading conversations, but if you struggle with that, coffee is going to be boring.

Its always wise to take a girl out where you two are doing something active.








PIMP

 

[Smok1nAce]

thanks for the advice guys. im good with leading conversations, im on the quiet side, but i nut up when the time ask for it. I will update on Saturday with my results.

 

[Smok1nAce]

UPDATE: the date went well talked for an hour and 15min. no awkward silence. She did look around alot (could have been because there was alot of noise, we sat outside). She did go on her phone once for a couple of seconds. I told her i used to work at a place we where sitting by and she asked If i knew 2 guys there, I said no, and she said "wow you dont know anyone". Kinda through me of guard. She asked me what i was doing later that day but i told her i had plans. Shes seems like a nice girl, but def. not a churchy girl. At the end she went for a hug and I gave her one. She said she is always board, and I dont want to chill with cause she has nothing else to do. Is that a bad sign?

Do you guys think i did alright?

 

[Eph]

wow you don't know anyone - Translation: you have no social proof. Next time you go out, take her somewhere you know a lot of people. She does seem interested, if not attracted, but your value is diminishing in her eyes. Once she thinks its below her's, its game over.

And like everyone said: quit texting just for the sake of texting. In other words, cut the crap - no more "how are you? how's it going" - If you're going to text her, keep a purpose in mind. Text her to ask her out (as you went on to do), build rapport, etc but don't intertwine purposes. For example, you went from asking her how she was doing to asking her out. This is why people say, "texting kills relationships". Texting doesn't, bad texting does.

The way you did it was fine, but just try not to.

 

[Smok1nAce]

wow you don't know anyone - Translation: you have no social proof. Next time you go out, take her somewhere you know a lot of people. She does seem interested, if not attracted, but your value is diminishing in her eyes. Once she thinks its below her's, its game over.

I dont think its social proof we just don't run in the same circles. Where i worked at was a movie theater for 4 months 1 day a week, I didnt really talk to anyone but 3 chiefs, and a hot bartender, everyone else was a lowlife. If you know what i mean. plus im very mature for my age and she seemed like she wasnt. Im 22 she is 20. I asked her what she watched on TV and I said i watch Breaking Bad and Mad Men, and she said she watched Love & Hip Hop. kinda gave me an insight into what she thinks.

I mean if she thinks im lesser then her because i dont know some guy she knows then she can hit the highway (what type of sh!t is that) Are all females like this...? Im a guy not a girl. Im at work to make money not to make friends. We talked about what we have planed and im going to college and graduating next year and she's "stopped for a couple of semesters but going back in the fall" (yeah OOOKKKAAAYYY).

 

[Eph]

I dont think its social proof we just don't run in the same circles. Where i worked at was a movie theater for 4 months 1 day a week, I didnt really talk to anyone but 3 chiefs, and a hot bartender, everyone else was a lowlife. If you know what i mean. plus im very mature for my age and she seemed like she wasnt. Im 22 she is 20. I asked her what she watched on TV and I said i watch Breaking Bad and Mad Men, and she said she watched Love & Hip Hop. kinda gave me an insight into what she thinks.

I mean if she thinks im lesser then her because i dont know some guy she knows then she can hit the highway (what type of sh!t is that) Are all females like this...? Im a guy not a girl. Im at work to make money not to make friends. We talked about what we have planed and im going to college and graduating next year and she's "stopped for a couple of semesters but going back in the fall" (yeah OOOKKKAAAYYY).

A man's value is everything to a woman. Social proof just adds to it. The majority of women are like this. Accept it. You don't have to know the same people she does, but it doesn't hurt (even if you fake it) to show her you're a popular guy. Case in point: what about you can she brag to her friends about that'll make them envy her and want you?

You shouldn't expect her to be mature at 20 either. Of course you find her immature, she's only 20. For the most part though, keep doing what you're doing. Keep your "I'm mature, she's a child" mindset, it really helps.

 

[Smok1nAce]

UPDATE 2: well the second date was pretty funny. she gets in the car and is on phone playing candy crush. Next we go to this little festival and start walking around, at this point I didnt know what to think, she asked me if I where neckless with wood beeds and said i should get one, I sarcastically said, "OK but you have to pick it out", next we sit down and she starts talking about where she wants an apartment, and she was on her phone constently. we walk of to meet one of her friends, (who looked like a hod rat). I put my hand out to shake it and she gives me a weird look and she says "oww is this you boo thang..?" And my date says "no it my friend", at this point i didn't give a ****, and wanted to drop this b!tch off at the nearest corner. She starts to say that i dont know where any places are to eat, so i start naming some nice expensive places and she has no clue. One the way back to her place she talks about the Illuminati....again... the fist date she talked about it and says i am very sarcastic.

Right before she gets out of my car, she says,"This isnt going to work I would beat you up"
I respond with "haha ok, you can keep living in fantasy land"