Hi,
I was searching for advice in the field of dating and relationships, came across several sites - some useful, others less so -, until I got here. I agree that I haven't read much, yet I am already impressed with the material in the Don Juan Bible. I will of course read it through and will likely get more ideas and improve my dating life and life in general.
My main problem (at the moment) is slightly more complicated, and I would appreciate any advice, or any hints.
This is a long post, and I will write a brief summary in the following post. This one is too long, I was told.
There is a girl who approached me about 4 years back while I was onboard a cruiseferry. We talked, but did not exchange any contact information, besides where we worked - it was the same shipping company. I saw her occasionally and we were flirting, but that was all.
I met a girl (crew member) onboard the same cruiseferry last spring. By then I had decided that I needed to be more confident and approached her. Somewhat to my surprise she was glad I did, and we ended up talking long past her working time. About half an hour later the other girl walked past us. (She actually saw me earlier in the terminal when I was about to embark, yelling my name to get my attention, then telling me that she too was going on the cruise.) It turned out that they were friends with each other. I considered her a C*ck-blocker at that time, as I was doing really well with the girl. In the morning I asked the girl (crew member) her Facebook, MSN and phone number - got them all. When I got home, the other girl had added me as a Facebook friend, and started chatting right away - we had long chats, but I tried to keep it casual, as not to ruin it with the girl I had just met onboard.
I got the girl on a date, I got her to come by my apartment and had her stay long past the time she should have gone home - I imagine she was ready for sex, but I did not make any moves. Until that I had show myself as confident and not needy, but at some stake I screwed up, and she politely told me that she is not interested in seeing me any longer. This was on another cruise, I had planned on having a picnic the next day - a friend was supposed to deliver the basket to a park. I did not take the news too well. The word "p*ssy" comes into mind. In any case I decided to pursue the second girl - the one who had approached me years before. Our chatting intensified and we exchanged some occasional text messages. She actually told me that she wanted to go on a canoe trip - the only thing was, that I needed to have my bicycle repaired in order to get there, and I did not get it done in time. I asked her on a date, and she failed to show up (we had not yet "broken up" with the first girl. She did come the second time (by then there was nothing between me and the first girl), and we had a really nice time. I asked her to come by my place, but she did not want to. Our chatting got flirtier and everything seemed to be moving in the right direction, when I likely screwed up. It might be I insulted her - she has a mother tongue different of mine, so I imagine she could have misunderstood something I wrote her. I then planned for another date, but she did not show up for that. I was too lenient on her when asking why she did not come - that probably put her off even more. I did ask her once more, and she said that she would like to come, and she would let me know when she had the time. That time never came. The closest was when I asked her out - had her choose a number, which represented the day we would go on the date. She then asked where we would meet, but did not agree with my proposed location - again, being a wuss, I asked if she had any better ideas. Being almost certain that she would not show up, I sent her a text message the same day, cancelling the date, saying I had some urgent things to do.
We did not chat for several weeks - until I decided to write her a haiku. I brought it to her - telling not to open it until she got home. Obviously she did, as she started chatting almost instantly, when I got home. It was a long session, but I did not ask about the haiku, and neither did she.
Our chatting slowed down for a month or two. I had a red rose and a teddy bear brought to her cabin when she was on a cruise - later on she thanked me for it, and it allowed us to chat more than before. I also made origami flowers for her on a few occasions. The second time I did that she was not very appreciative. I then let her be and did not initiate any conversations with her for several months.
We both attended a conference this summer - I took my seat early on and as the room filled up, I saw her sitting right behind me - giggling when I looked at her. That gave me an excuse to chat with her, and after a few days I asked her out again. This time she outright refused. Not knowing what else to do, I then wrote her about what I thought was the problem - that I had inadvertently insulted her, and that she was perhaps angry that I had dated her friend - before her. Looking back, me being a p*ssy back then would make a better explanation.
In any case I decided to let her go and did not talk to her any more. She "liked" a Facebook picture where I was with another girl, during the month or two we did not have any communication. By then I had begun experimenting with pheromones. I actually had a quite a bit success with them, and managed to get aquainted with another girl - again, she did the approaching. I got her into my cabin and I got a date with her later on, but something went south. (It was not that good of a match anyway, for what it is worth) It encouraged me, however, to do more field tests with pheromones. I saw her the next time at the check-in desk and this time she was very flirty, pulling her hair, even asking me, if I would be going on a cruise on the day she was planning on going. I had learned from my mistakes and left her while she was still up emotionally. A few days later she initiated a conversation, asking me about my cruise. I kept the conversation to a minimum. About five days later she initiated a new conversation - asking exactly the same question - this time we ended up chatting for 2 days on and off.
Later on I booked myself for a cruise - knowing that she would also be there. She had a female friend with her. I saw them in the evening, and asked for permission to sit town next to her - a mistake, I know. I then asked them to hold my seat while I went away to register myself for karaoke. I came back about five minutes later, and they had left. I did see them later on at the disco hall, and teased her for not holding my place. She was not very talkative however, so I left. I saw her the next evening too, this time she was moderately drunk. I bought her a drink and we sat down, talking about some lighter topics. I asked her to dance, but she refused. I then stood up, took her hand with the intention of getting her to the dance floor, but she decided to go to the bathroom, and then to her cabin. I agreed to wait for her, and escorter her to her cabin. My cabin was on the half-way to hers, and she stepped inside for a second, making a compliment on my briefcase. I then escorted her to her cabin, upon what she said something to the effect, "why are you doing this, my friend?".
I kept a low profile after that. No messaging on my part, but I did go to the port on a few occasions, and she was always relaxed when she saw me - It is likely the pheromones that helped. She has initiated a few chatting sessions since then, but the talk has not been flirty at all. She used to giggle (writing "hihihi", etc) in the beginning, but has not done so after she failed to show up for the third date. She got a job onboard the ship, and trusted me with that information - telling, that only one of her colleagues, and her friend - the girl whom I dated - knew.
Since then I have seen her onboard the ship, and talked with her. While she was initially pleased to see me, I failed to move away when her mood was up.
I have tried chatting with her, but thus far she has not been too keen on replying, or is very slow in doing so - telling me that she is busy with work.
I was searching for advice in the field of dating and relationships, came across several sites - some useful, others less so -, until I got here. I agree that I haven't read much, yet I am already impressed with the material in the Don Juan Bible. I will of course read it through and will likely get more ideas and improve my dating life and life in general.
My main problem (at the moment) is slightly more complicated, and I would appreciate any advice, or any hints.
This is a long post, and I will write a brief summary in the following post. This one is too long, I was told.
There is a girl who approached me about 4 years back while I was onboard a cruiseferry. We talked, but did not exchange any contact information, besides where we worked - it was the same shipping company. I saw her occasionally and we were flirting, but that was all.
I met a girl (crew member) onboard the same cruiseferry last spring. By then I had decided that I needed to be more confident and approached her. Somewhat to my surprise she was glad I did, and we ended up talking long past her working time. About half an hour later the other girl walked past us. (She actually saw me earlier in the terminal when I was about to embark, yelling my name to get my attention, then telling me that she too was going on the cruise.) It turned out that they were friends with each other. I considered her a C*ck-blocker at that time, as I was doing really well with the girl. In the morning I asked the girl (crew member) her Facebook, MSN and phone number - got them all. When I got home, the other girl had added me as a Facebook friend, and started chatting right away - we had long chats, but I tried to keep it casual, as not to ruin it with the girl I had just met onboard.
I got the girl on a date, I got her to come by my apartment and had her stay long past the time she should have gone home - I imagine she was ready for sex, but I did not make any moves. Until that I had show myself as confident and not needy, but at some stake I screwed up, and she politely told me that she is not interested in seeing me any longer. This was on another cruise, I had planned on having a picnic the next day - a friend was supposed to deliver the basket to a park. I did not take the news too well. The word "p*ssy" comes into mind. In any case I decided to pursue the second girl - the one who had approached me years before. Our chatting intensified and we exchanged some occasional text messages. She actually told me that she wanted to go on a canoe trip - the only thing was, that I needed to have my bicycle repaired in order to get there, and I did not get it done in time. I asked her on a date, and she failed to show up (we had not yet "broken up" with the first girl. She did come the second time (by then there was nothing between me and the first girl), and we had a really nice time. I asked her to come by my place, but she did not want to. Our chatting got flirtier and everything seemed to be moving in the right direction, when I likely screwed up. It might be I insulted her - she has a mother tongue different of mine, so I imagine she could have misunderstood something I wrote her. I then planned for another date, but she did not show up for that. I was too lenient on her when asking why she did not come - that probably put her off even more. I did ask her once more, and she said that she would like to come, and she would let me know when she had the time. That time never came. The closest was when I asked her out - had her choose a number, which represented the day we would go on the date. She then asked where we would meet, but did not agree with my proposed location - again, being a wuss, I asked if she had any better ideas. Being almost certain that she would not show up, I sent her a text message the same day, cancelling the date, saying I had some urgent things to do.
We did not chat for several weeks - until I decided to write her a haiku. I brought it to her - telling not to open it until she got home. Obviously she did, as she started chatting almost instantly, when I got home. It was a long session, but I did not ask about the haiku, and neither did she.
Our chatting slowed down for a month or two. I had a red rose and a teddy bear brought to her cabin when she was on a cruise - later on she thanked me for it, and it allowed us to chat more than before. I also made origami flowers for her on a few occasions. The second time I did that she was not very appreciative. I then let her be and did not initiate any conversations with her for several months.
We both attended a conference this summer - I took my seat early on and as the room filled up, I saw her sitting right behind me - giggling when I looked at her. That gave me an excuse to chat with her, and after a few days I asked her out again. This time she outright refused. Not knowing what else to do, I then wrote her about what I thought was the problem - that I had inadvertently insulted her, and that she was perhaps angry that I had dated her friend - before her. Looking back, me being a p*ssy back then would make a better explanation.
In any case I decided to let her go and did not talk to her any more. She "liked" a Facebook picture where I was with another girl, during the month or two we did not have any communication. By then I had begun experimenting with pheromones. I actually had a quite a bit success with them, and managed to get aquainted with another girl - again, she did the approaching. I got her into my cabin and I got a date with her later on, but something went south. (It was not that good of a match anyway, for what it is worth) It encouraged me, however, to do more field tests with pheromones. I saw her the next time at the check-in desk and this time she was very flirty, pulling her hair, even asking me, if I would be going on a cruise on the day she was planning on going. I had learned from my mistakes and left her while she was still up emotionally. A few days later she initiated a conversation, asking me about my cruise. I kept the conversation to a minimum. About five days later she initiated a new conversation - asking exactly the same question - this time we ended up chatting for 2 days on and off.
Later on I booked myself for a cruise - knowing that she would also be there. She had a female friend with her. I saw them in the evening, and asked for permission to sit town next to her - a mistake, I know. I then asked them to hold my seat while I went away to register myself for karaoke. I came back about five minutes later, and they had left. I did see them later on at the disco hall, and teased her for not holding my place. She was not very talkative however, so I left. I saw her the next evening too, this time she was moderately drunk. I bought her a drink and we sat down, talking about some lighter topics. I asked her to dance, but she refused. I then stood up, took her hand with the intention of getting her to the dance floor, but she decided to go to the bathroom, and then to her cabin. I agreed to wait for her, and escorter her to her cabin. My cabin was on the half-way to hers, and she stepped inside for a second, making a compliment on my briefcase. I then escorted her to her cabin, upon what she said something to the effect, "why are you doing this, my friend?".
I kept a low profile after that. No messaging on my part, but I did go to the port on a few occasions, and she was always relaxed when she saw me - It is likely the pheromones that helped. She has initiated a few chatting sessions since then, but the talk has not been flirty at all. She used to giggle (writing "hihihi", etc) in the beginning, but has not done so after she failed to show up for the third date. She got a job onboard the ship, and trusted me with that information - telling, that only one of her colleagues, and her friend - the girl whom I dated - knew.
Since then I have seen her onboard the ship, and talked with her. While she was initially pleased to see me, I failed to move away when her mood was up.
I have tried chatting with her, but thus far she has not been too keen on replying, or is very slow in doing so - telling me that she is busy with work.
