The Superiority Factor: Subconscious Decision-Making Explained (Nice Guy vs Jerk)

[Krassus]

I was just surfing the Tips forum when I saw a post outlining Surfboard's theory on why women go after Jerks (hereafter referred to as Superiors) over Nice Guys (hereafter referred to as Inferiors). Before we go any further, I want to make it clear that I disagree with what the man said. He gets the thumbs up for coming up with a theory that looks pretty solid initially, but in my opinion, he made too many assumptions along the way. In a nutshell, he had a question that he wanted to find the answer to, and then assumed that something his niece blurted out was the answer. He then used his imagination to find “evidence” that he thought linked the two together and filled all the gaps inbetween. Let me go over this again. If you want to come up with a solid theory, you take your question and find evidence first, and only then use your imagination to help you find the answer. Imagination should be used to help find the answer, not the evidence! Think of all the conspiracy theories that pop up AFTER a major event has occurred! The “evidence” was there all along, but no one recognized it as such until the “answer” was given. That’s when the theorists use their imagination to find the “evidence” and link it to the “answer.” This is how we get far-out theories linking CIA to 9/11 and so forth. But nevertheless, Surfboard he was close. Damn close. Women do select potential mates with their need to reproduce in mind. But this isn't a conscious process. And this changes everything.

Introducing the Superiority Factor, the name I use to describe the subconscious decision-making process that plays a vital role in any girl's decision to go with a Superior over an Inferior. I have to admit that I had slept through most of my elementary school science classes, but I did manage to hear a thing or two about evolution and natural selection. The female of every species chooses her mate in order to reproduce, and like I said, human females are no exception. But even though we're a highly intelligent species, the subconscious decision-making process involved in this selection is highly similar to the one used by other species. This process being a subconscious one is the key to understanding how this whole thing works. A female wolf doesn't sit there and weigh the ups and downs of mating with a pack leader. She doesn't spend hours analyzing him, not only because she can't, but because she doesn't have to. Her subconscious mind makes the decision for her. Mother Nature and thousands of events that took place leading up to that moment have programmed it to. The pack leader is seen as being Superior because the other males submit to his power, as well as other events from the PAST. The Superiority Factor kicks in and he is automatically recognized as the Superior male, and with it, the best possible mate. The subconscious fills in the rest. His Superior genes would ensure healthy cubs. His influence within the pack would ensure the provision of food for the family. The female wolf has no idea; she can’t analyze facts and predict likely outcomes to FUTURE situations based on them. Her subconscious does that for her without her knowledge, and does it quite well too.

Believe it or not, the human female isn't that different. A colossal number of women have no idea why they themselves go for Superiors over Inferiors – and this is because they don’t see them as such. To them, they’re just the Nice Guy, the Jerk or everyone in-between. A lot will deny that they prefer Superiors, not because they're liars, but because they don't know themselves well enough to understand it. Some feel guilty because they think the Superiority Factor makes them bad people, even though they’re completely oblivious to its existence. They'll say that they're looking for one thing, yet go for the exact opposite. Even the kindest women with no emotional baggage will often stay with guys who treat them downright bad, even, and especially, if some other guy is treating them like a goddesses at the same time. And no acts of kindness and compassion from an Inferior will ever help him out shadow the influence of the Superior. Without even realizing it, Inferior is trying to mess with Mother Nature. He's hoping that the women's conscious mind will make a decision that will overpower her subconscious. Now let me tell you something, unless the girl has been studying psychology and is a master at The Method of Subconscious Autosuggestion, there's not a chance in hell that she can knowingly reprogram her subconscious mind. Hence the reason Inferiors fail and Superiors succeed over and over.

Now that you know the basics, you can use common sense to explain the rest. The subconscious can be understood with common sense, if not controlled by it. Think about it, which is seen as being more Superior: the guy who has plenty of other women after him, or the loner? The rich guy or the poor guy? The guy who has little time for her, or the guy for whom she's the only woman in the world? The guy who treats her as an equal (or lesser), or the guy who treats her as a goddess? The guy who’s the center of attention, or the quiet, shy guy? Try to understand that all this has been programmed into her subconscious by nature, as well as countless years of repetition. "Marry a doctor or a lawyer," her mother always told her. A man who is Superior to most men to our society due to his ability to generate higher income. In school, teachers were Superior to students. The principal was Superior to the teachers. A temp in dad's company didn't tell him how to do his job. The cleaning lady didn't order mother around the house. The most popular boy in school didn't give a damn about her.

The Superiority Factor has been pounded into her subconscious thorugh thousands, if not millions of repetitions. It would take years, if not the rest of her life to reprogram her subconscious to see things differently, so don't even try. This is what the Nice Guy needs to understand. He can't change her. Just as every girl needs to understand that she can't change the Jerk for that very same reason - subconscious decision-making. That is to say, unless she spends years doing it. How do you think most husbands get tamed by their wives over the course of their marriage? Without knowing it, the wives use the Method of Autosuggestion to reprogram the subconscious of their husbands! They refuse sex if the husband upsets them. They don’t cook dinner if he came home late last night. Countless times, they repeat to the man’s subconscious that THEY are Superior. That THEY are in control of what goes on in the kitchen table, in bed and elsewhere. Eventually, the man just stops trying, sighs and gives up the TV remote forever. Finally, after thousands of repetitions, the wife has altered his subconscious decision-making process.

If you think about it, a lot of society's problems could be solved if everyone understood the Superiority Factor. The Inferiors, the Superiors and of course, the women they're both after! The both of them would realize that they don't need to treat women like dirt to be seen as Superior. All they have to do is use their knowledge of the Superiority Factor in combination with common sense to find out whether a girl will react favorably to a particular action. Nice guys wouldn't become jerks to get laid, and jerks wouldn't remain jerks to get laid. Women would value kindness over cruelty, and the world would be better as a whole. Unfortunately, most people in our society lack the intelligence to care about issues like these, let alone to understand them. Maybe someday. But until that day comes, we better make the best of what we’ve got. And whether you realize it or not, you just acquired the knowledge that will allow you to do just that! By employing the principles outlined here, you can understand women better than most men. Even better than most men who are amazing with them! And better than women understand themselves! Thorough understanding of The Superiority Factor is paramount to being successful with women. Think about all the tips you’ve read around here. It explains the reasoning behind most, if not all of them. You now have the required information and can make up your own questions and find the answers without having to search for them. Try it, think of a few questions! Who is more Superior: the guy who calls right after getting the number, or the guy who waits several days? The guy who constantly does her favors, or the guy who asks her for some? Or how about the guy who tells her she’s his perfect mate before she tells him? Now go search and you’ll see that the answers you find will match the ones YOU came up with using what you just learned. Knowledge is power. Truly. Good luck!

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Excellent post Krassus.

100% agreed.

At the end, you related it to a few real life situations. We need to keep drawing more of the same conclusions to more real life situations.

 

[Aramas]

Interesting post, but I feel that you might be twisting observations to fit the 'alpha male' thing.

I've had rather a lot of LTR's, and eventually you figure out how women work - at least in the sense that you understand how they react to certain things.

Chicks are not thoughtless animals whose entire identities are built by social conditioning. They do, however, have needs, and when those needs are met they're happy with the relationship. When a chick is happy with a relationship then it doesn't matter how ripped or 'alpha' some guy that's coming onto her is - she will not risk losing a relationship that satisfies her needs.

Obviously there's the sexual side of the relationship, but that's not rocket science - all it takes is practice and enough empathy to take care of it. And it must be taken care of - it's a prerequisite.

Then there's the emotional side. The primary emotional function of a man in a relationship is to take care of any threat to the female's world, or failing that (and some things are outside the guy's influence) either put things right, provide emotional support or take the blame (usually all 3 - lol). Funnily enough they don't much seem to mind which of those things it is as long as the guy doesn't mess up too often.

During normal everyday life various things will happen that that try to throw off the normal balance. The man's role is to make all and any problems go away, and shoulder responsibilty for any that slip through.

So the primary role of a male of the species is to shield the female from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. You don't have to be 'alpha' or 'superior' to do that - in fact it has nothing to do with it. What it requires is competence and responsibility.

 

[Krassus]

Good point and i completely agree. There are billions of women out there and contrary to what some say, they're not all the same. Remember that while this may seem like a giant post, its actually an attempt to summarize the subconscious thought process behind sexual attraction of billions of people in just 2-3 pages, so it's more like a brief outline. In other words, things had to be left out to make it readable. It wasn't my intention to portray women as thoughtless.

But come to think of it, what you described fits right into this theory. You just have a different perspective because you probably have more LTR experience than i do. Think of it this way: if the girl values your relationship to the point where she wouldn't risk losing it, then you must be Superior in her eyes, whether you're Alpha or not. Fact is that she believes you're doing a good job of taking care of her, a BETTER job than most others would.

There's your Superiority right there! But if you were jealous, obscessive, needy, and clingy when you met her, you would have never gotten a chance to convey your value to her, because she'd immediately see you as being Inferior to most males. And if you suddenly started acting like that now, you'd lose her just the same.

 

[Aramas]

We seem to be mostly on the same page, but I find the whole 'alpha' thing rather misleading and it doesn't fit with my experiences. I go clubbing pretty regularly, and the guys that people here would describe as 'Alpha Males' are not the ones that are getting all the attention. The guys that really kick arse are the ones that are engaging.

I live in an army town and the arrogant, posturing warrior types are universally reviled by the chicks here. First of all they're too threatening, and secondly they generally have no manners and are incapable of holding an interesting conversation. For the most part they get nowhere and then try to pick a fight - they are utterly clueless. It's so bad that the 'AJ's' (Army Jerks, as they're known here) have altered local chicks' behaviour and they're far more defensive than anywhere else I've lived (7 cities in 2 countries) - to the point that just making eye contact with a chick that isn't interested is likely to provoke a sneer.

When people talk about a 'not giving a fvck attitude', they don't mean being self absorbed and disinterested in other people. It's about not giving a fvck about the outcome as long as you're having fun - just being in the moment and revelling in it. Talking with chicks is fun, and if you don't care what comes of it then any nervousness or fear is completely out of place.

That's why I consider the whole 'picking up chicks' thing to be a bit of a trap. People focus on the goal and blow the moment. I prefer to think of it as just having fun, chatting with lots of chicks and not caring if you get laid or not. If one chick stands out and you're getting along then just go with the flow, but don't trade the moment for a percieved payoff - once you get out of the present you're no longer centred and all sorts of weird shyt starts happening - it's like choking at a sport - once you're out of the zone you're screwed.

You could also think of conversation and general interaction (ie dancing, eye contact etc.) as being a bit like music - it has a life of it's own and while the participants can direct it, it still has to follow the natural rhythm and pacing. Once a muso get's out of the moment the music messes up, same with human interaction.

 

[Krassus]

Yeah, definitely on the same page apart from the fact that our understanding of the term Alpha Male is different. I don't usually refer to myself as an Alpha, though technically, i am one. For me, an Alpha Male isn't synonymous to what you described. Its simply being absolutely confident, outgoing, able and willing to lead and take charge, and basically being a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it. You have to understand that what i described is just one facet of a person's personality. That one facet alone will get you far with a certain type of women, but with quality women, it obviously has to be complimented by others, and if it isn't, you end up with what you call an AJ.

 

[Psycho`Sexual]

Just to clear this up...

Krassus, after reading this thread I have a conflicted feeling about what you are trying to express.

You said, in theory, that a Superior was just a male who is viewed as Superior in relation to other males. What I am wondering is superior in what way?

You mentioned money and social status, but you also mentioned social conditioning of her subconcious mind.

In your examples you wrote questions:

"Who is more Superior: the guy who calls right after getting the number, or the guy who waits several days? The guy who constantly does her favors, or the guy who asks her for some? Or how about the guy who tells her she’s his perfect mate before she tells him?"


Isn't it true that females, just as males, are constantly bombarded by media and other females who talk about how "sweet" their boyfriend is, or how sensitive guys are best?


Wouldn't the females mothers tell them to find a mate who treats her good?




All of this works towards conditioning her mind into believing nice guys are desirable.



Also I am sure you have seen relationships in which the female wears the pants, so to speak. Obviously she is the "superior" of the relationship, and yet she still keeps her little lapdog of a man around.






Getting back to superiority over other males. The army jerks mentioned compete for superiority amongst themselves, however they are not what the women desire.


I think it is only fair to consider Superiority not as a objective classification, but as a subjective opinion of the target female.


A hippy female might think a male with feminie features such as long hair is Superior to a male with a rock hard body and a buzz cut.


This ties in to what I'm getting into next.

Resonance.



"birds of a feather stick together"

Its a simple concept really. You see everything has a resonance. And in music, when two tuning forks are in resonance they vibrate in synchronicity.

If you took two DIFFERENT tuning forks, you couldnt make them resonate.


This same concept applies to humans. There are different resonaces with everyone, and those people who resonate in similar ways are drawn toward each other.




A gothic emo girl will not fall for a strict and disciplined army colonel.

I'm sure we have all been around people that you are drawn to. Just so we have been around people from which we are repelled.









What I'm getting at is that if you try to change yourself to fit every female you attempt at fvcking you will have deep conflicts about identity.


It is much easier to be yourself and attract the corresponding females in your resonance class.



A nice guy who acts in a differnt manner than what is taught here at sosuave will attract a girl who is like that.

The problem is that most of the females are NOT in resonance with what we call "loosers."

(at least most desirable females)




I am a very metaphysical person, and as such I tend to project an explanation of this nature.



However, this next part does have a physical counterpart.


Through-out the eons of evolutions, our bodies(and our brains) have evolved in a way based upon the previous experiences of our ancestors.

These include the previous experiences between man and woman.


And although society changes every generation, the inbred values in our brains stay very similar.


This would attribute to a mentality in which the "strong" are favored. Think back 200 years and its easy to see that if you didn't have a husband who could hunt, you were screwed.


Our brains are still wired almost the same as the caveman times.


Females have a need to seek out providers.


WHAT they desire you to provide is an individual-based concept. Some females may desire economic stability, others may desire emotional expression, sexual release, social power, etc etc etc.


Getting back to the topic of this thread, it is my opinion that serious relationships are based on how well you satisfy the females need.

I want to make sure to emphasize the point that SUPERIORITY is in her mind, not an objective reality.

Also, as a concluding statement I would like to say that in order to attract a mate with your resonance you just have to be yourself. In order to be superior in her eyes, YOU BETTER TRY YOUR DAMN HARDEST TO BE WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN.

If your passionate about napping 5hours a day, you better goddamn be the best napper there is.


This point has been made before, I can't remember by who.

But anyway, to summerize...BE YOURSELF. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

 

[Solomon79]

Guys, the more FEAR a man emits in his body language and general behaviour, the more inadequate he is perceived as being by women, since his behaviour is a reflection of how he thinks. A great provider, good lover, good father etc. is somebody who is not afraid to go out then and explore, mingle and take risks.

It's really not about being an *******. It's simply about not being scared. If a guy looks visibly scared or in awe of his surroundings, it makes him look as if he THINKS others are above him. What you think is what you are.

Being fearless is the key, it doesn't mean a guy has to be an unpleasant person.

 

[Aramas]

The whole 'man as the provider' deal is another one that gets up my nose. Speaking in evolutionary terms our bodies and minds are built to live the way we did around 50k years ago (evolutionary lag). During this period europeans were nomadic hunter gatherers. Research on their diets (analysis of microscopic scratches on teeth and of rubbish heaps or middens) has shown that women provided more than 80% of their diet. The men 'provided' meat by hunting, and this allowed them to get through harsh winters when nothing else was available - but they didn't 'provide' nearly as much as the women did.

In the last couple of thousand years there has been a steady creep towards males providing more food, but it's only since the industrial revolution that men have taken the provider role - and in evolutionary terms that was about half an hour ago. Meanwhile women have been taking back their share of providing - most women work these days. Humans are just not wired up to give a fvck about that sort of stuff and won't be unless it continues for tens of thousands of years. They talk about it sure - but it's all just justification after the decisions have already been made subconsciously.

Man's role is that of the protector, not the provider. We keep the women and children safe and lead them when travelling. We face any challenges that come our way and intercept them before the women or children can be effected by them That was our primary role then and it is now.

The whole provider thing is propagated by the short fat bald accountants and skinny stoop shouldered fvcks that couldn't protect a woman from a spider let alone any real threat. They prattle on about 'high status' and how important their money/rolex/porche/armani suit is because that's all they have going for them and they're looking for validation. It's bullshyt.

Women are looking for a man that knows how to be a man.

 

[Krassus]

Psycho, the media's power isn't limitless. A girl's friends influence her far more than the media. You could argue that the media does have an impact because it dictates what clothing they wear and so on. But in reality, its HER FRIENDS' REACTION TO THE MEDIA that is the real influence! The media is just a method of communication. When a girl sees some star wearing something and tells her friend how great it looks, her friend would be far more likely to agree because the girl says so, not because the media communicated it. This is the REAL power of the media. The indirect influence.

And i do agree with you as far as mothers' influence is concerned. No girl actually wants a guy who treats her bad! But when she has to choose between an absolutely, disgustingly boring doormat who treats her good, an an exciting, adventurous, spontaneous man who doesn't, she'll often go with the latter for obvious reasons.

Superiority is subjective, yes. Its personal. Its influenced by millions of factors. In the situation with the military jerks, there's obviously an abundance of them and girls are sick of them. Supply and demand is against them, so they miss out. Over there, they're as common as nice guys are everywhere else.

I don't know where you digged up the point about customizing yourself to every female, as it was never in this thread. And you're right, you should be yourself. I'd never change myself for anyone but myself.

Solomon79, excellent point. Most females will automatically label the guy Inferior if he seems afraid. They love confidence and this is the polar opposite.

 

[Stackthestyles]

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