The stupid sh!t we do to get laid...

[RangerMIke]

Thought this might be a good thread because of what happened last night. Even guys that have been around the block a few times end up doing increadibly dumb things for sex.

Any stories you might have regarding this topic post so that we can all learn from each other's silliness. I'll start:

Met a Latina at a party last night HB8, with a GREAT @ss that I just had to see sans clothes. She approached me, and the interaction went text book perfect, got her number and was planning to call her for a date next week... but when we were walking out to the parking lot I dropped my cell phone and bent down to pick it up as she kept walking and got another look at that magnificant @ss and just had to have her. This party was in the French Quarter and I live WAY on the other side of town (Uptown Carrolton if you are familuar with NOLA).

I asked her for a ride home, since I knew if I got her back to my apartment I could make something happen. I said something like I really didn't want to take the street car, now I didn't lie (which is important later in this story), I just omitted the fact that my car with in the parking lot. She lives not too far from where I am so she agreed. I got her to come in, and my sence of where things were going was spot on and we had sex. Said she couldn't stay because she had to take care of her dogs.

As she was leaving she turned and said "Oh, if you expect me to take you back to your car in the French Quarter you're mistaken.", gave me a kiss and left. So I had to take the street car back to the French Quarter, pay for the extra 3 hours parking ($18), and drove back and didn't get to bed until about 2am.

The morale of this story is no matter how cleaver we might THINK we are, women always fvcking know what's going on. You can not hide sh!t from them. She was willing to go along with this charade because she was DTF. In hindsight I should have just told her to follow me home, and saved myself the time getting back to my car.

 

[El Payaso]

Thought this might be a good thread because of what happened last night. Even guys that have been around the block a few times end up doing increadibly dumb things for sex.

Any stories you might have regarding this topic post so that we can all learn from each other's silliness. I'll start:

Met a Latina at a party last night HB8, with a GREAT @ss that I just had to see sans clothes. She approached me, and the interaction went text book perfect, got her number and was planning to call her for a date next week... but when we were walking out to the parking lot I dropped my cell phone and bent down to pick it up as she kept walking and got another look at that magnificant @ss and just had to have her. This party was in the French Quarter and I live WAY on the other side of town (Uptown Carrolton if you are familuar with NOLA).

I asked her for a ride home, since I knew if I got her back to my apartment I could make something happen. I said something like I really didn't want to take the street car, now I didn't lie (which is important later in this story), I just omitted the fact that my car with in the parking lot. She lives not too far from where I am so she agreed. I got her to come in, and my sence of where things were going was spot on and we had sex. Said she couldn't stay because she had to take care of her dogs.

As she was leaving she turned and said "Oh, if you expect me to take you back to your car in the French Quarter you're mistaken.", gave me a kiss and left. So I had to take the street car back to the French Quarter, pay for the extra 3 hours parking ($18), and drove back and didn't get to bed until about 2am.

The morale of this story is no matter how cleaver we might THINK we are, women always fvcking know what's going on. You can not hide sh!t from them. She was willing to go along with this charade because she was DTF. In hindsight I should have just told her to follow me home, and saved myself the time getting back to my car.

Lol. That's a funny story. Mine isn't as bad as yours but I met a girl once. On the second date, as we were leaving the movies, I wanted to bring her back to my place but I couldn't come up with a clever ruse so I just planned on f*cking her at her own place. Mind you, my house was just like 5 minutes from the movies.

Anyway, we got to her place and we started making out in my car. I told her let's go inside. She said she can't because her mom was visiting.

I was so horny and just wanted to f*ck. We couldn't do it in my car because it was very small so we ended up driving back to my place. On the way she said, "You know you could have just asked me to come back to your place with you, right? I saw your hard on in the theater and knew you wanted to f*ck me."

 

[logicallefty]

My parents spend 5 months of the year at their house in Illinois, and 7 months at their condo in Florida. When they are in Florida I keep an eye on their house.

Parents left Illinois in their van, Florida bound one Saturday morning about 7:00am. That night I was out on date 2-3 with a woman I hadn't railed yet. We had been drinking at a bar not too far from my mom's place (my choice on purpose).

We left and I told her my mom and step-dad were in Florida and I had to go check their house because "I had not checked it in a while". (which I hadn't 'checked it' for 5 months because they had been home!).

So anyway, went to my parent's empty place, got woman inside, made my moves and railed her on mom's spare bed. (my redneck mom knows I do this when she is gone and she thinks its funny).

Went back out to a different bar after. Mom calls my cell. I'm talking to her. She told me they had made it to Atlanta, GA. I said something like "Glad you guys made it to Atlanta. Love you and let me me know when you make it safely to your condo tomorrow".

says the HB

She said "I thought your parents were in Florida and thats why you had to check their house?!" Busted!!

I replied "I wasn't sure if they had made it to the Florida State line yet, and technically I didn't lie to you, I hadn't 'checked their house' in LONG TIME, 5 months!" lol

She replied "Lucky for you the s3x was amazing!"

Moral of the story: If you are gonna lie to a woman to get some \|/, be careful with what you say later.