The Source of Happiness

[Desdinova]

Society has dictated to men that the one true source of happiness is having a woman in your life. The importance of "love" is said to be more important than a man's own life. That's why you hear phrases like "I can't live without you" and "you're my reason for living" spouting out of people's mouths.

This is one of the biggest fallacies that society has pounded into our brains. To prove it, let's look at how reliable a woman is to deliver happiness to a man:

- Women are naturally unhappy a minimum of one week per month.
- Women's emotions can fluctuate often and quickly.

From these two points alone, it's obvious that women are NEVER happy 100% of the time, and few are happy 50% or more of the time. Now, would you rely on a car that didn't run 50% of the time? Also, would you put up with that car because someone says that a vehicle is necessary for every day life? NO! You could walk or take a bus!

So now may I ask you, why are you relying on having a woman in your life to make you happy, when the woman herself isn't happy most of the time?

AFCs are the ones who look to women for their source of happiness. When they find that she's not a reliable source for it, they try to make her reliable! When she's unhappy, he takes her shopping, buys her flowers, and try making her happy with compliments. These guys don't realize that women will NEVER be happy 100% of the time. So what's the point in trying to achieve the impossible? It's much better to find a more reliable source for happiness.

The only good source of happiness is YOURSELF. A man who loves himself can go on for days being happy. Sure, you'll get an occasional bad day, but even a new car can sometimes have trouble starting.

To be a happy person, you must get your happiness from within. External forces (women, friends, hobbies, money, religion) can only add or subtract from your happiness. When you find a woman who adds to your happiness, that's when you may decide if she's worthy of keeping around.

Now, remember that women aren't happy 100% of the time, so she may sometimes subtract from your happiness. As long as she's doing more adding than subtracting, she's a good addition to your overall happiness. But if she's doing more subtracting from your happiness, that's when you know it's time to kick her to the curb.

 

[Roly]

We have to remember that 90% of the time that it's not guys fault that they are AFC's. Guys are not AFCs just because of women, it can be a lot of things ie. Society, the media, upbringings etc. Even then, if a guy finds this site , there's the transitional/ unlearning stage which is going to take some time. There's no magic pill to becoming a DJ. Even if you become a DJ, you have to stay consistent to the DJ principles or you'll eventually get sucked back in by the crap out there.
I myself is no DJ yet, I still have AFC tendencies but I'm definitely learning. One thing I learned though is debrainwashing myself from all the AFC crap I learned is going to take some time. Persistence is the key

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't think most people are ready to hear this advice. It usually takes a few failed relationships to realize that romance is foolish. afc supplication is the method of the majority, and because it is so common it has become the "right" way in most peoples' eyes.

The only good source of happiness is YOURSELF.

I'd further define 'yourself' as 'coming from within.' Spiritually fulfilled people tend to be happier. This is not a pitch for organized religion, but I think you have to find some sort of interest or cause that you care about, spiritual or otherwise. There's irony in focusing attention toward social causes in that the payment is internal fulfillment. Do something for other people, and it is you who reap the reward. This yields happiness and confidence, which together bring success with women.

Don Miguel de Manara, who is said to be the origin of the "Don Juan" character in literature, was known for his philanthropist nature.

http://www.turismo.sevilla.org/paginas_en/patrimoniomonumentalficha.asp?idpatrimonio=121
Miguel de Mañara, who came from a rich seated Italian family in Seville had a very important role to play in this institution. It is said this character inspired Tirso de Molina to write "El Burlador de Seville", and later Zorrilla "Don Juan Tenorio". He was one of the senior brothers of the institution and gave great impulse to the institution.

http://www.explodingtesticle.com/paintingsgone.php
Miguel de Mañara was the Hermano Mayor of the brotherhood: his depth and breadth of charity was astounding. The church's design and commissioned works all reflect Mañara's guiding hand and unified message to the brothers. The messages contained in Murillo's works of mercy are the messages that Mañara wanted in the Church to remind the brothers of their efforts; "clothing the naked" in the case of the painting in question. Above the intended position of these works are mouldings containing scrolls inscribed with the same messages of mercy. The brotherhood continues to pray in this church.

 

[Desdinova]

Spiritually fulfilled people tend to be happier.

I find it interesting that you say this since I've been trying to figure out my "spiritual" side ever since I abandoned religion alltogether. After realizing that I wasn't finding anything, I gave up looking for it. The way I see it, if it doesn't exist (or it exists and is funtioning perfectly), there's no need to tamper with it.

 

[Gubby]

I find it interesting that you say this since I've been trying to figure out my "spiritual" side ever since I abandoned religion alltogether. After realizing that I wasn't finding anything, I gave up looking for it. The way I see it, if it doesn't exist (or it exists and is funtioning perfectly), there's no need to tamper with it.

Spiritual is just a word. You can get yourself completely tied up in knots about it. What Bible Belt described was a) the pleasure of helping other people and b) that on having a purpose and direction in life. Both important things.

Just do what feels right.

 

[Desdinova]

Spiritual is just a word.

Exactly.

 

[penkitten]

media / society brainwashes people. you have the ability to be happy without a woman , if you want.
you are your source of everything, everything else is merely an influence.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Society has dictated to men that the one true source of happiness is having a woman in your life.

Society (whomever that may be) is chasing the dreams of 50's and 60's. It's been said time and time again that people should make their own path and create their own destanys. People still say that putting yourself first is selfish but unless you look out for yourself and your own well being, who else will?

 

[JonJack]

While I don't believe that society has dictated that the ONE TRUE source of happiness is having a woman, it is indeed viewed as one of the important and greatest source of happiness. I do not deny this. I would encourage it actually. There is no other feeling that can come close to the feeling of being cared and loved by another person that you care and love for too.

The problem lies with putting conditions on this happiness. Conditions such as "it has to last as long as I wish it to last", "if it ends I won't be able to get it back", "if I want it she has to give it or help me find it", "if I can't find it I'm gonna be so depressed". These are the sort of expectations that will damn you each and every time you seek happiness from a woman or even from anything else for that matter.

 

[Jariel]

Great post!

 

[comic_relief]

The only good source of happiness is YOURSELF.

everyone is right on

comic_relief