A few years ago I had my heart broken by a wonderful woman. In the process she said to me, "I just don't love you. I wish I did. If I could choose anyone to love it would be you... but for some reason I don't, I'm sorry, I don't understand either."
Next thing you know she is going with a dude who treated her like sh*t.
De ja vu?
So I decided to figure out what the hell was going on in these beautiful but rather messed up heads.
One of the most facinating discoveries has been what me and my mates call the "slvt reflex."
I'll give you an example of the slvt reflex in action (this happened to me on Friday night).
I was over at a friends house. He has a hot female friend staying with him. He's trying to bed her, but without much success. My mate pops out of the house for a minute to get some weed. The girl gets in the shower.
I've only met this chick briefly on two occasions. I haven't put any work on her as I know my mate has dibs. But as some of you know, when you have your inner game going you don't have to do anything to attract girls.
She comes out of the shower a few minutes later with a towel wrapped from the mingline to the nipple line and sits down on top of me.
I grab hold of her about the hips to let her know she had my attention.
She turns to me and says "You think I' m wh*re don't you?"
Until I came to understand the slvt reflex I would have been stumped by that. It seemed a rather strange thing to bring up when you are covered only by a towel sitting on the lap of a guy you bearly know in another guys house...
But I'd come across this kinda thing before. Most famously a one night stand moaninging ecstatically DURING sex "I'm such a slvt. I'm such a slvt..."
Weird as.
So when this girl asks me if I think she's a wh*re I knew the correct response was, "Actually I respect a girl who is confident enough to express her sexuality."
She had triggered the slvt reflex. I needed to turn that switch off.
Whenever women cross a line in initiating sexual intimacy they trigger the slvt reflex.
For thouands of years women's sexuality has been brutally controlled by society (pick whatever society you like and when I say society I mean society not just men... don't worry I'm not a feminist).
So we have thousands of years of culture and oppression sitting like Jubba the Hut on every girls secret desires.
In most cases girls are not even aware they have this brainwashing exerting such massive pressure against them expressing their natural (and very beautiful) urges. They internalise these taboos against a woman being sexual and no amount of Sex in the City will cure them.
But they still wanna have sex, lots of it, the naughtier the better.
Our challenge as men is to liberate women from this oppression by giving them the freedom they yearn for.
How do we do this?
The answer to this I think will help a lot of you boys in the friendzone.
We make it happen.
The MAN needs to take responsibilty for any sexual activity that takes place.
The funny thing I have noticed is the more "liberated" and "empowered" a woman is the more the guy needs to be the sexual instigator (why I do not know).
One night I was out with a high powered career woman (who was also a former lover) complaining about having not had sex for a while (this girl is a 9.5 on the looks 10 on everything else btw... they are out there!). I said "Let's have sex." She responded with the words, "lets see how it goes... no promises." We had a great night and then when it was time to go home she invites me back to her place. Then says, "but this doesn't mean we are having sex."
"Of course not." I reply. When we got to her house I grabbed her and let her know (with deeds not words) in no uncertain terms that we WERE having sex. She melted. She wanted sex the entire time but she still felt the need to say no sex to avoid triggering the slvt reflex.
And that's where a lot of us go wrong. We wait for the girl to give us a *sign* to make a move. What we don't realise is that just giving us a guys a sign that we understand will automatically trigger the slvt reflex.
A woman needs to feel (or most do at the beginning) that it "just happened." that is was "meant to be" or that the guy was so sexy/passionate/horny/sweet that she could not resist.
It is our responibilty as men to create this situation then make it happen.
Next thing you know she is going with a dude who treated her like sh*t.
De ja vu?
So I decided to figure out what the hell was going on in these beautiful but rather messed up heads.
One of the most facinating discoveries has been what me and my mates call the "slvt reflex."
I'll give you an example of the slvt reflex in action (this happened to me on Friday night).
I was over at a friends house. He has a hot female friend staying with him. He's trying to bed her, but without much success. My mate pops out of the house for a minute to get some weed. The girl gets in the shower.
I've only met this chick briefly on two occasions. I haven't put any work on her as I know my mate has dibs. But as some of you know, when you have your inner game going you don't have to do anything to attract girls.
She comes out of the shower a few minutes later with a towel wrapped from the mingline to the nipple line and sits down on top of me.
I grab hold of her about the hips to let her know she had my attention.
She turns to me and says "You think I' m wh*re don't you?"
Until I came to understand the slvt reflex I would have been stumped by that. It seemed a rather strange thing to bring up when you are covered only by a towel sitting on the lap of a guy you bearly know in another guys house...
But I'd come across this kinda thing before. Most famously a one night stand moaninging ecstatically DURING sex "I'm such a slvt. I'm such a slvt..."
Weird as.
So when this girl asks me if I think she's a wh*re I knew the correct response was, "Actually I respect a girl who is confident enough to express her sexuality."
She had triggered the slvt reflex. I needed to turn that switch off.
Whenever women cross a line in initiating sexual intimacy they trigger the slvt reflex.
For thouands of years women's sexuality has been brutally controlled by society (pick whatever society you like and when I say society I mean society not just men... don't worry I'm not a feminist).
So we have thousands of years of culture and oppression sitting like Jubba the Hut on every girls secret desires.
In most cases girls are not even aware they have this brainwashing exerting such massive pressure against them expressing their natural (and very beautiful) urges. They internalise these taboos against a woman being sexual and no amount of Sex in the City will cure them.
But they still wanna have sex, lots of it, the naughtier the better.
Our challenge as men is to liberate women from this oppression by giving them the freedom they yearn for.
How do we do this?
The answer to this I think will help a lot of you boys in the friendzone.
We make it happen.
The MAN needs to take responsibilty for any sexual activity that takes place.
The funny thing I have noticed is the more "liberated" and "empowered" a woman is the more the guy needs to be the sexual instigator (why I do not know).
One night I was out with a high powered career woman (who was also a former lover) complaining about having not had sex for a while (this girl is a 9.5 on the looks 10 on everything else btw... they are out there!). I said "Let's have sex." She responded with the words, "lets see how it goes... no promises." We had a great night and then when it was time to go home she invites me back to her place. Then says, "but this doesn't mean we are having sex."
"Of course not." I reply. When we got to her house I grabbed her and let her know (with deeds not words) in no uncertain terms that we WERE having sex. She melted. She wanted sex the entire time but she still felt the need to say no sex to avoid triggering the slvt reflex.
And that's where a lot of us go wrong. We wait for the girl to give us a *sign* to make a move. What we don't realise is that just giving us a guys a sign that we understand will automatically trigger the slvt reflex.
A woman needs to feel (or most do at the beginning) that it "just happened." that is was "meant to be" or that the guy was so sexy/passionate/horny/sweet that she could not resist.
It is our responibilty as men to create this situation then make it happen.
. We got to the point in making out where its either clothes off, or go home. She said she was ready to go home, and she put her shoes on. She kind of stared at the floor for a minute, and i asked her what she was thinking. She said she didnt know, or something, and kind of had a "slvt reflex" kind of aura about her. So I used your line saying "You know, i respect a girl who is confident in expressing her sexuality". I just kicked back, she looked at me, and I said "just let whatever happens happen". She said "ok", I took her hand, and gave it a light pull toward me, she came toward me, we started making out again, and within 20 minutes we were tearing the pillows off the couch. Excellent advice. Read it, learn it.