"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The shallowest people in the world

Microphone Fiend

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The shallowest people in the world are actually likely to be the least attractive because through low self-esteem they assume that better-looking people are too shallow to give them the time of day.
If one good-looking person writes you off, then that one person will never relate to you. If you are shallow enough to write yourself off as too unattractive for good-looking people, then millions of attractive people will never be able to relate to you.
Just some thoughts running through my head. Any positive input to the discussion before this thread gets closed from flaming?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Stuntmann

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Your negative outlook on the future of your own findings is very scary.


I find this with fat women. Some are so afraid of everything, you can see their fear as they go by you. If you look at her and keep that eye contact, she'd look back, and say hi. But in a very insecure tone. Like she's looking for me to say something, but she also afraid if I don't say anything. Like a hypothermic wet cat, they spit some low toned hi that you can barely hear.

It's not her extra bulk that makes me go by, it's that fear that's totally a turn off.

I remember myself being fat. Those fat women would go by like they weren't intimidated, and wouldn't say anything. Now I'm not fat, and they are reacting like that. I find this a very good barometer on how hot I've become - and I don't mean my healthy physique or my good appearance, everything that goes with being a DJ.


We shift toward pretty women. They'd be sending all those IOIs. Then there will be cold shoulder women. Then ugly women that you go by and if she's with her buddy she'd tell her that guy must be gay - because he neither paying attention to FUGs nor is intimidated by their FUG female presence.


Beta men will readily submit to you. Some betas will challenge, but they always fail.
 

Luthor Rex

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Microphone Fiend said:
Just some thoughts running through my head. Any positive input to the discussion before this thread gets closed from flaming?
This just seems more like a self-esteem issue than shallow/deep.

Not everyone can be handsome and some men know that no matter how hard they work on themselves they will never considered attractive or "hot". If you're deformed and no surgery will work, what ya gonna do?

Even for the deformed self-esteem is possible... but as for what group has more shallow people in it I think there's no good way to know that outside of some long term boring clinical study.

:yawn:
 

Ace of Flames

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You guys are missing the point. He's not trying to specify an actual group of people that are 'the shallowest in the world'.

He's trying to say that by snubbing yourself with all your self-loathing and low self-esteem, you're basically snubbing the world. You project the message that you aren't a person worth existing, and therefore, people won't acknowledge you, at least not long. They aren't shallow for not wanting to talk to you. They're just not stupid. Why waste their time on someone who doesn't even like themselves?
 

Holland

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Shallowness.... it seems to me that's a word invented by unattractive people as an excuse to not work on themselves.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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logic1

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You are correct in thinking that shallow people are the least attractive people.

But not because of your reason. Its about their personalities not because they assume things about attractive people. Its about everything and everybody. They are toxic people in more ways than one. Shallow is just a mild name for them.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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"Shallow" is a catch term for a feminine social contrivance. People are only as 'shallow' as their conditions permit and the value we place on what exactly defines a person's integrity. Less attractive women will ALWAYS encourage the perception that more attractive women are 'superficial' or 'shallow' because it's an intangible perception that can only be proven by getting to know an individual woman. The subconscious assessment is obvious; perception is everything and when a woman is blatantly more attractive than another the only fallback available to the less attractive one is to impugn the other's character. The myth of the physically flawless woman being synonymous with the character flawed woman is constantly reinforced as a methodolgy for feminine competition.

The male part of this equation is of course guilt by association. As a man, ideal physical proportions and symetry in a woman has an obvious effect and is thus the commodity to be sought after. If a less attractive woman can convince a man, or shame a man, into believing by default that the more physically ideal a woman is the less her intellectual, empathetic, integrity capacity is she improves her chance of breeding with a male that would under normal circumstances opt for the physically more ideal woman. Therefore, by associating himself with the attractive woman, or overtly displaying a preference for a physically superior woman, he then becomes as 'shallow' as she is. The mechanism is designed to make him want to avoid this association and thus prefer the less attractive, but perceptually more 'deep' woman in favor of the hot piece of ass.
 

Ace of Flames

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Rollo Tomassi said:
"Shallow" is a catch term for a feminine social contrivance. People are only as 'shallow' as their conditions permit and the value we place on what exactly defines a person's integrity. Less attractive women will ALWAYS encourage the perception that more attractive women are 'superficial' or 'shallow' because it's an intangible perception that can only be proven by getting to know an individual woman. The subconscious assessment is obvious; perception is everything and when a woman is blatantly more attractive than another the only fallback available to the less attractive one is to impugn the other's character. The myth of the physically flawless woman being synonymous with the character flawed woman is constantly reinforced as a methodolgy for feminine competition.

The male part of this equation is of course guilt by association. As a man, ideal physical proportions and symetry in a woman has an obvious effect and is thus the commodity to be sought after. If a less attractive woman can convince a man, or shame a man, into believing by default that the more physically ideal a woman is the less her intellectual, empathetic, integrity capacity is she improves her chance of breeding with a male that would under normal circumstances opt for the physically more ideal woman. Therefore, by associating himself with the attractive woman, or overtly displaying a preference for a physically superior woman, he then becomes as 'shallow' as she is. The mechanism is designed to make him want to avoid this association and thus prefer the less attractive, but perceptually more 'deep' woman in favor of the hot piece of ass.
This.

This is Truth.
 

Mr.Positive

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Rollo Tomassi said:
"Shallow" is a catch term for a feminine social contrivance. People are only as 'shallow' as their conditions permit and the value we place on what exactly defines a person's integrity. Less attractive women will ALWAYS encourage the perception that more attractive women are 'superficial' or 'shallow' because it's an intangible perception that can only be proven by getting to know an individual woman. The subconscious assessment is obvious; perception is everything and when a woman is blatantly more attractive than another the only fallback available to the less attractive one is to impugn the other's character. The myth of the physically flawless woman being synonymous with the character flawed woman is constantly reinforced as a methodolgy for feminine competition.

The male part of this equation is of course guilt by association. As a man, ideal physical proportions and symetry in a woman has an obvious effect and is thus the commodity to be sought after. If a less attractive woman can convince a man, or shame a man, into believing by default that the more physically ideal a woman is the less her intellectual, empathetic, integrity capacity is she improves her chance of breeding with a male that would under normal circumstances opt for the physically more ideal woman. Therefore, by associating himself with the attractive woman, or overtly displaying a preference for a physically superior woman, he then becomes as 'shallow' as she is. The mechanism is designed to make him want to avoid this association and thus prefer the less attractive, but perceptually more 'deep' woman in favor of the hot piece of ass.
So, it's our weakness, as men, for focusing on physical attributes first and formost in mate selection?

...and our weakness, is fed back to us as being shallow and we're "shamed" into believing that women's shallowness, is somehow, our fault.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Mr.Positive said:
So, it's our weakness, as men, for focusing on physical attributes first and formost in mate selection?

...and our weakness, is fed back to us as being shallow and we're "shamed" into believing that women's shallowness, is somehow, our fault.
This is certainly the perception that we're sold.

Personally I don't see - and I don't think other Men should see - our primary focus on the physical as a "weakness." If anything it's a proven strength in our sexual selection process. However, you can see an interesting dynamic in this. Men's natural propensity is to perform, to play the game better (or at least better figure out how to play it best), yet it's women's tactic to change the rules of the game to better suit their individual strengths and shortcomings.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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