The Sexy Neighbor

[wrender]

Hey guys,

This is a great website! I've read most of the material here and have learned alot. Let me tell you a story that eventually led me to discover this website.

I'm a single 32 year old guy. I recently purchased a house back in April (living alone). Within the first week or two of living here, I noticed that my next door neighbor began showing me alot of attention. Unexpected knocks at the door to say "hi" and she even went as far as to pretend she lost her drivers license outside so I can get a flashlight to help her find it (I know this because she admited to me recently that it was staged).

A bit about her.... she's 40yrs old. A single mom with a boyfriend (who's drives a truck and is only home on weekends). She has 5 kids (3 teens and 2 toddlers). I know,... everyone's immediate thoughts will be "stay the f*** away". But the clincher is that she's incredibly sexy. A petite little blonde with a knock-out body that shows no signs of child-bearing. She's also incredibly friendly and a very cool person to hang with. But I did my best to keep my distance since she's not exactly the ideal type of woman to get involved with. But being my next-door neighbor, I have found it impossible not to grow closer to her. So by now, (5 months later) we've fooled around on many occasions and had sex a few times. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not! As I've stated, she's hot and very personable. So it's definately been a thrill and an ego boost to top it off. Not to mention it motivated me to get in shape and change my life.

However, the problem that I'm now running into involves how to go about playing this game so that it works out to my advantage. I don't want to end the affair since I'm having too much fun. But at the same time I'm beginning to feel myself grow slightly attached to her. Which is very bad. I think finding a real girlfriend will solve this and at the same time keep her flames lit (jealousy?).

I want you all to know that the info at this site is very true. I didn't realize it until this all happend to me. I couln't figure out for the life of me why this hot older ladie had any attraction to me. I'm "ok" looking. Not ugly, not hot. In retrospect now it all makes sense (and after reading many of the articles here). I believe my stand-offish attitide is what fueled her interest. The last thing I wanted when I moved into my new house was to get involved with, and possibly start a war with the people next-door. So I naturally showed alot less interest in her than most men would. I kept a quiet mysterious persona and it seems to have payed off (because secretly I fantasized about nailing her, but always knew it would be a bad idea).

I know it's kind of a big mess, so my main question is this... How would any of you handle this situation? I think that flat-out ending the fling is impossible becuse I see her nearly every day. Although I stick to my guns and still don't always give her alot of attention. Only at key moments. This strategy seems to keep her interested.

I've noticed that she plays the game too. There's always a period of isolation for a few days to a week after each time we screw around. Maybe out of guilt or something. But she never fails to come back knocking at my door. And her brief disappearances never fail to peak my interest too. So I guess it works both ways.

I used to say that I WISH I had such problems. But now that it's a reality I see that it really is a problem of sorts.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

She's a cheater, so there's no real value in this girl. Her only purpose in life is to be a dumpster for main juice, she's got 5 fukin' kids!!! RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!! The only way a guy can fuvk a chick for a long period of time is if he has no emotional attachment. Obviously this isn't the case for you. However, here's where your mistaking your emotions. Your confusing your lust and sexual satisifaction from her as feelings of closeness and care. Like I said above, she's only good for one thing and she's got the track record to prove it. Its really not that hard to ignore someone, even when they're your neighbor if you really want to.

What worries me is you inherently realize all the potential red flags that could be flying your way in the future YET your justification is "she's hot." You sound like a 18 year old kid, not a 32 year old man. Hot girls are a dime a dozen, replace her with someone who's more than just a hole for your ****.


PS: If you didn't stop to think that she could be a bit of a mental case, you should consider that. Not to mention what would happen if her boyfriend unexpectedly found out. This situation has disaster filled in for the ending.




PIMP

 

[wrender]

Her only purpose in life is to be a dumpster for man juice

LOL, yeah this is true.

Thanks for for the brow beating Pimp. I guess you're right. I should focus on finding other women with less baggage. I'm workin on it. But something tells me I'll still succumb to the temptation from time to time. But at least I won't be suffering from oneintis therefore I shouldn't have to worry about attachment (from my end at least).

As for the boyfriend ever finding out. I think it's his job to keep his girlfriend satisfied and on the leesh. I never initiate or instigate anything with her. So I have no fears standing up to him and telling him like it is if it ever came down to it. He may have the right to tell me to stay away, but he does not have the right to tell me who I can and can't let in my front door when they come knocking.

 

[Desdinova]

So that's why Wyldfire hasn't been around

Superb post, Pimp-sicle.

There's only a few types of women you shouldn't get sexually involved with:

Co-workers
Neighbours
Relatives

The rest of the world is yours to discover.

 

[KoalaKing]

I have 3 rules concerning dating (1) Don't fu-ck any hot babe who lives near your own home (2) Never fu-ck a hot babe who works at the same place as you (3) Only ever date a hot babe who is under 30 years of age, even if you yourself are 50, stick to these rules and you will never have any problems, there is a fourth, forget about woman with kids.

 

[wrender]

I have 3 rules concerning dating (1) Don't fu-ck any hot babe who lives near your own home (2) Never fu-ck a hot babe who works at the same place as you (3) Only ever date a hot babe who is under 30 years of age, even if you yourself are 50, stick to these rules and you will never have any problems, there is a fourth, forget about woman with kids.

Those are good rules to live by. The fourth is a bit tricky tho. What I have found is that if you date someone too young say 21 or so, they are immature in many ways in which I can no longer relate to. But most women that I meet that are 25 and up have a kid or two. Especially attractive women because they've been banged and sought after so much in their lives. So personally I've begun to lower my standards a bit and try to accept someone even if there is a kid or 2 involved. I know that's not ideal, but if it means getting in some practice and some sex on the side then so be it.

She's a cheater, so there's no real value in this girl.

-Pimpsicle

This is true. But I wonder how it fits in with what's being discussed in the "Boyfriend Destroyer" thread. According to that, many believe it's ok to grab a girl who has a boyfriend. Technically this makes them a cheater (at least at first it does). So what would be the value in a woman like that?

 

[Latinoman]

Do not confuse "sexy" with "trashy". Both are appealing...but they are not the same thing. You see? A sexy woman is NEVER a trashy woman.


Wrender...you made a very amateurish mistake. Actually...you made several.

1- You got involved with a woman that is your neightbor. Worst, the woman that lives besides the house you just BOUGHT (do you think you can sell that house within 3 days?)!

2- You are involved with a woman that has small children

3- You are involved with a woman that is EIGHT years older than you (and you are 32, so she is 40!!!).

4- You are involved with a woman that lives with a man (regardless if he is out of the house during the week) that happens to be your neightbor.

5- You literally got involved with a "trailer trash" or "ghetto" or whatever adjetive are used today to describe certain type of women.

Here is the thing...I also live alone. I have neighbors. But do you know what? I don't socialize with them. Why? Because I try to avoid drama in my home (my sanctuary).

Fool around at home with your neighbors only if you feel you can move out within 3 days. If you cannot accomplish that, then fooling around under those circunstances is pretty amateurish. You are risking your investment and life!

But most women that I meet that are 25 and up have a kid or two. Especially attractive women because they've been banged and sought after so much in their lives. So personally I've begun to lower my standards a bit and try to accept someone even if there is a kid or 2 involved.

Hmmmm...so if you are "lowering" your standard, then why not stick with one that is 25 WITH kids instead of a 40 year old (with a man) that has kids?

Personally, I NEVER lower my standards. Lowering my standards makes me a man with lower value too.

And by the way...were have you been looking for women? My experience here is that most women in their 20s (AND that are just out of college) do not have children.

 

[Latinoman]

According to that, many believe it's ok to grab a girl who has a boyfriend. Technically this makes them a cheater (at least at first it does). So what would be the value in a woman like that?

Here is my take on this. If a woman has a boyfriend (and I don't know him or interact with him)...I don't have any problems trying to go out with her. Why? Because most women would not dump a boyfriend until she has another man "secured" (like Monkeys going from vine to vine).

However, I would NEVER trust a woman that I got under those circunstances. In fact, I would never have her for a serious relationship.

Now...to answer your question...the woman you have is not just "any" woman.

She is

1- living right beside the house you just BOUGHT (for Christ sake!).

2- is EIGHT years older than you

3- and has small children.

She might be hot. But I'm sure there LOT of hot women in your city.

Furthermore, even if she was ALONE...and was younger...I would have avoided her. More so than one that works with me (and I do avoid those ones too). Because it is a home that you just bought.

Avoid women that are your neighbors. Especially if you are a home owner. A house investment has more value than a piece of azz.

 

[wrender]

Thanks for the input guys. It really re-affirms my underlying thoughts. I guess my next question would be: Now what? What's the best way to end this without hard feelings and without the need to explain these things to her?

 

[DJDamage]

I guess my next question would be: Now what? What's the best way to end this without hard feelings and without the need to explain these things to her?

I wouldn't do the direct approach with this one. The last thing you need is for her to cry to her Man about you and encourage him to attack you or destroy a piece of your property (Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned rings true, that is why its best not to date coworkers or neighbours because of the mess that might insue).

I would slowly try to lower her interest level by creeping her out. Stop taking showers and start wearing old and ugly cloths around the house. Stop being a cheerful person and act depressed and complain about the whole world. In the end she will get tired of it all and stop coming over.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know what's funny? I read right up to this point and stopped.

I'm a single 32 year old guy. I recently purchased a house back in April (living alone). Within the first week or two of living here, I noticed that my next door neighbor began showing me alot of attention. Unexpected knocks at the door to say "hi" and she even went as far as to pretend she lost her drivers license outside so I can get a flashlight to help her find it (I know this because she admited to me recently that it was staged).

Before I read anything else I thought 40 year old, single mother, with boyfriends in tow. And sure as sh!t there it is! This is almost a cliche now. If I had a dollar for everytime this exact same "problem" occured on this website I could retire now.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

No single mommies, no how, no way, end of story.

I've aleady detailed in many prior posts that mate selection is a psycho-biological function that our millenias of evolution has hardwired into both sexes. So internalized and socialized is this process into our collective psyches that we rarely recognize that we're subject to these motivators even when we continually repeat the same behaviors manifested by them. So saying that we're not subject to conditions we're not, or are only vaguely aware of is a bit naive.

It's simple deductive logic to follow that for a species to survive it must provide it''s offspring with the best possible conditions to ensure it's survival - either that or to reproduce in such quantity that it ensures survival. The obvious application of this for women is sharing parental investment with the best possible mate her own genetics allow her to attract and who can provide long term security for her and their potential offspring. Thus women are the filters of their own reproduction where as men's reproductive methodology is to scatter as much of his genetic material as humanly possible to the widest available quantity of fertile females. He of course has his own criteria for mating selection and determining the best genetic hosts for his reproduction (she's gotta be hot), but this criteria is certainly less discriminating than that for women (i.e. no ones ugly after 2am). This is evidenced in our own hormonal biology; men posess 17 times the amount of testosterone women do and women produce substantially more estrogen and oxytocin than men.

That stated, both of these methodologies conflict in practice. For a woman to best ensure the survival of her young a man must necessarily abandon his method of reproduction. This then sets an imperative for him to pair with a woman who will satisfy his methodology. A male must sacrifice his reproduction schedule to satisfy that of the woman he pairs with. With so much genetic potential at stake on his part of the risk, he want's not only to ensure that she is the best possible candidate for breeding with, but also to know that his progeny will benefit form both parents involvement.

One interesting outcome of this psycho-biological dynamic is men's ability to spot their own children in a crowd of other children more quickly and with greater accuity than even their mothers. Studies have shown that men have the ability to more quickly and accurately identify their own children in a room full of kids dressed in the same uniforms than the mothers of the child. Again, this stresses the subconscious importance of this genetic trade off.

Social Convention

To counter this subconscious dynamic to their own genetic advantage women initiate social conventions and psychological schemas to better facilitate their own breeding methodologies. This is why women always have the "perogative to change her mind" and the most fickle of behaviors become socially excusable, while men's behavior is constrained to a higher standard to "do the right thing" which is invarably to the advantage of a woman. This is why guys who are 'Players', and fathers who abandon mothers and children to pursue their innate reproduction method are villains, and fathers who selflessly sacrifice themselves financially, emotionally and life decision-wise are considered heroes for complying with women's genetic imperatives.

This is also the root motivation for female-specific social dynamics such as LJBF rejections, women's propensity for victimhood (as they've learned that this engenders 'savior' mental schemas for men's breeding schedules) and even marriage itself.

Good Dads vs Good Genes

The two greatest difficulties for women to overcome in their own methodology is that they are only at a sexually viable peak for a short window of time (generally their 20s) and the fact that the qualities that make a good long term partner (the Good Dad) and the qualities that make for good breeding stock (Good Genes) rarely manifest themselves in the same male. Provisioning and security potential are fantastic motivators for pairing with a Good Dad, but the same characteristics that make him such are generally a disadvantage when compared with the man who better exemplifies genetic, physical attraction and the risk taking qualities that would imbue her child with a better capacity to adapt to it's environment (i.e stronger, faster, more attractive than others to ensure the passing of her own genetic material to future generations). This is the Jerk vs. Nice Guy paradox writ large on an evolutionary scale.

Men and women innately (though unconsciously) understand this dynamic, so in order for a woman to have the best that the Good Dad has to offer while taking advantage of the best that the Good Genes man has, she must invent and constantly modify social conventions to keep the advantage in her biological favor.

Reproductive Schedules

This paradox then necessitates that women (and by defalut men) must subscribe to short term and long term schdules of mating. Short term schedules facilitate breeding with the Good Genes male, while long term breeding is reserved the Good Dad male. This convention and the psycho-social schemas that accompany it are precisely why women will marry the Nice Guy, stable, loyal, (preferably) doctor and still fvck the pool boy or the cute surfer she met on spring break. In our genetic past a male with good genes implied an ability to be a good provider, but modern convention has thwarted this so new social and mental schemas had to be developed for women.

Cheating

For this dynamic and the practicality of enjoying the best of both genetic worlds, women find it necessary to 'cheat'. This cheating can be done proactively or reactively.

In the reactive model, a woman who has already paired with her long term partner choice, engages in an extramarital or pairing, sexual intercourse with a short term partner (i.e. the cheating wife or girlfriend). That's not to say this short term opportunity cannot develop into a 2nd, long term mate, but the action itself is a method for securing better genetic stock than the committed male provider is capable of supplying.

Proactive cheating is the single Mommy dillema. This form of 'cheating' relies on the woman breeding with a Good Genes male, bearing his children and then abandoning him, or having him abandon her, (again through invented social conventions) in order to find a Good Dad male to provide for her and the children of her Good Genes partner to ensure their security.

I want to stress again that (most) women do not have some consciously recognized, master plan to enact this cycle and deliberately trap men into it. Rather the motivations for this behavior and the accompanying rationales invented to justify it are an unconscious process. I fervently believe that for the most part, women are unaware of this dynamic, but are nonetheless subject to it's influence.??For a female of any species to facilitate a methodology for breeding with the best genetic partner she's able to attract AND to ensure her own and her offspring's survival with the best provisioning partner, this is an evolutionary jackpot.

The Cuckold

On some level of consciousness, men innately sense something is wrong with this situation, though they may not be able to place why they feel it or misunderstand it in the confusion of women's justifications for it. Or they become frustrated by the social pressures to 'do the right thing' and are shamed into martyrdom/savior-hood and committed by feigned responsibility to these conventions. Nevertheless, some see it well enough to stear clear of single mothers, etiher by prior experience or observing other male cuckolds saddled with the responsibility of raising and providing for - no matter how involved or uninvolved - another man's successful reproduction efforts with this woman.

The man in this position is (or at the very least interpreted as) a Cuckold. He will never enjoy the same benefits as his mates short term partner(s) to the same degree, in the way of sexual desire or immediacy of it, while at the same time enduring the social pressures of having to provide for this Good Genes father's progeny. It could be argued that he may contibute minimally to their wellfare, but on some level, whether emotional, physical, financial or educational he will contribute some effort for another man's genetic material in exchange for limited form of sexuality/intimacy from the mother. To some degree, (even if only by his presence) he is sharing the parental investment that should be borne by the short term partner. If nothing else, he contibutes the time and effort to her he could be better invested in finding a sexual partner with which he could pursue his own genetic imperative by his own methodology. It is simply not worth his effort to couple with a single mother when compared to a woman without children.

However, needless to say, there is no shortage of men sexually deprived enough to 'see past' the long term disadvantages, and not only rewarding, but reinforcing a single mother's bad decisions with regard to her breeding selections and schedules in exchange for short term sexual gratification. It's important to bear in mind that in this age women are ultimately, soley responsible for the men they choose to mate with (baring rape of course) AND giving birth to their children. Men do bear responsibility for their actions no doubt, but it is ultimately the decision of the female and her judgement that decides her and her children's fate.

 

[wrender]

Wow Rollo, that's some deep, interesting stuff...

Not sure what good genes she was seeing in her past marriage. Her childrend's father is a fat balding guy. I was very surprised when I saw the picture of him. Although I know he was a total jerk. Very mean and sometimes violent. Her current boyfriend is no looker either. He's got sort of that bad boy image going on (tatoos and peircings) but he's actually extremely nice. I feel kind of bad for him in a way.

But I think I get the jist of it. And thanks to all the great input here, I know this needs to come to an end. I'll be a better man for it.

Before I read anything else I thought 40 year old, single mother, with boyfriends in tow. And sure as sh!t there it is! This is almost a cliche now. If I had a dollar for everytime this exact same "problem" occured on this website I could retire now.

Interesting. Maybe I'll do a search and check these other posts out.

 

[SamePendo]

So, your problem is that you're getting attached? Spin some plates, and keep being the "short term partner". Nothing wrong with fvcking her.

 

[wrender]

So, your problem is that you're getting attached? Spin some plates, and keep being the "short term partner". Nothing wrong with fvcking her.

I tend to agree with you. But until I secure other prospects it's probably a bad idea.

 

[penkitten]

sounds like a bad idea to me.
what if you cant stand her in a month, then what?

i say its always nice to flirt with a hot neighbor but dont invite them in.

 

[blueguy]

She sounds like a temptress. Be careful... those 5 kids are probably leftovers from all the neighbors she fukked.

 

[Latinoman]

wrender...why don't you come and visit the "Mature Men" section of the forum? Rollo, myself and several others (25+) post in that particular side of the Forum.

From my perspective, I rarely visit this section (just happened to see your thread in the main page and decided to take a quick look...saw that you were 32 and also saw that you were potentially putting into risk your investment and even life for a trashy woman).

Take care and good luck!

 

[wrender]

**update**

I've taken alot of what's been said here to heart. I've cooled things down considerably with the girl-next-door. What made it alot easier is the fact that I went out there and found myself a real girlfriend.

But things have begun to get very interesting once again. My neighbor met this new girl of mine briefly for the first time last week. So last night she (nieghbor) comes over and we hang out for a while outside. I jokingly suggest that she and I and my girlfriend should have a 3some sometime. And to my surprise she was totally for it! So much so that she wouldn't shut up about it for the rest of the night. Kept going on and on how she's never done anything like that and how she'd love to try it, etc, etc...

Now the thing is, I've only been seeing this new HB for a few weeks. I have no idea how to even bring this up to her. Nor do I even know if I should. I dig this chick so I wouldn't want to spoil anything. But damn! Maybe having 2 girls at once is no biggie for some guys here, but for me that would be DJ heaven.

Anyone ever done anything like this? What's a good way to go about asking a gf if she'd be interested? What were the reprecussions?