The "settling for Mr. Good Enough" essay--all of it

[hopeful loner]

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry/4

The essay is 5 pages, and that's a major newspaper magazine.

The essay is interesting because it openly encourages women to do what they inevitably end up doing anyway when they find themselves to be single and no longer young. Settling might be natural female behavior but I don't think it's a discussed and openly encouraged tactic.

All the reactions I've read so far to this article--from women--has been negative. The men seem to be withholding judgement.

One thing I also take from the essay is the realization that a good marriage doesn't necessarily need that 'spark' or 'sexual tension' or whatever it is that couples have when they're new to each other. Romance is not necessary to a marriage/raising children. It would be nice, but it isn't necessary. A man will get used to a chick no matter how pretty she is, and her looks will fade with time anyway. Biology may not have handicapped men as much as it has women, but I believe it's men's responsibility to their family--and by extension to society and civilization--to remain faithful to a single woman once the vow of marriage is taken and children are in the picture. This price that men pay is analogous to the one that nature makes women pay.

 

[Bonhomme]

I didn't read the essay -- just taking a short "breather" from the pile of work on my desk -- but is that not what a vast majority of people do anyway, to some degree or another?

How many people really end up with the person they want most? I doubt that very many do ... but most people go with the one who's highest on their list they can. The problems arise when they don't deep down think said person is "good enough." Based on the context of your post, it looks like that's really what the article is referring to.

 

[iqqi]

This thread was already done, just look further down on this forum!

And the common consensus was to bash all the sad old ladies.

 

[Bonhomme]

Not much respect for older women on this forum, eh?

Now that is sad.

 

[hopeful loner]

This thread was already done, just look further down on this forum!

And the common consensus was to bash all the sad old ladies.

The other thread links to an article that only contains a preview of the actual essay--the one I link above is the real one.

I just thought some people might have wanted to read the whole thing.