The secret to making freinds

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Do you ever feel like you do not have any good freinds. No one ever invites you out, to meet up out of school or work. You keep talking to them and get along well enough but they never invite oyu to hang out with their group.

To Have a freind you got to be a freind. If you invite them out first, then you will be freinds with them. Why would they invite you anywhere if you dont invite them. So dont wait around for them to invite you, just invite them.

I often did not go out with freinds much during the usmmer break, this summer was the best ever because instead of waiting for people to make plans with me i made plans with them.

If there is a group of freinds that hang out you can still arange to all meet just to get yourself in to the group, dont think that just because its 5 of them you cant say "why dont we meet up in town at..."

So like i said "to have a freind you got to be a freind" and it is so true

 

[h2o]

good tip

i agree

i am still personally trying to find a distinct social circle to hang out with, but nonetheless, i have many friends/acquantances...just not a distinct group that always hangs out together...rather several small groups

anyway, you're right, not only with regards to inviting them...

...but, in terms of giving/taking, you can't expect to have the benefits of friendship without giving first

for example, a few weeks ago i met this guy at a club and that night we both got pretty smashed, so i let him spend the night at my place ...since then i found a good new wing who's always calling me up inviting me to parties, and he always acts like he owes me, even though it was really nothing

you get respect from people by showing them a little respect ...and people really appreciate that little bit of respect you give them

also, ever notice when you're in a conversation that the other person sometimes doesn't even seem like they're listening, and are just waiting for their turn to talk or be listened to? ...btw, this is also mentioned in the movie "Fight Club," but it's true...people love to talk, so listen to them a little, you'll easily find new friends, or atleast acquantances that you can chat with day in day out

just be a genuinely good person, and you shouldn't have any trouble making friends

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Make sure you make friends with the right people.

Make friends with those you can talk about anything. Make friends with you can do certain physical activities with. Make friends that are great social proof (popular or pretty) but yet offer a little of the prior two.

Try to not make friends with the following:

and if they are your friends, don't be so urgent in hanging with them...

1. Flakey
2. Questionable moral value
3. Druggies/Alcoholics
4. Depressed/Angry
5. Put you down a lot of time

etc...those who are vastly different from you.

If you are friends with these types, and you wonder why your life is so messed up - better look for new friends.. cause the kind of friends you have tell the kind of person you are.

 

[AB500]

Also joining clubs and doing stuff is great for making friends. For example I'm in band and just going into highschool this year through band I've already established a solid group of friends and gotten alot of social proof by knowing so many upperclassmen. Already I've been going to some awesome partys and **** just cause I took the effort to introduce myself with alot of people and hang out with them.

The only other advice I can offer for making friends is always be as outgoing as possible. I almost didn't go to a party last night and ended up making 4 or 5 new friends and getting 5 girls' numbers.

 

[thederekeffect1]

Great post. And everyone else had some good things to say too. I remember my last year of high school. I graduated 2 years late because I dropped out in 11th grade.

In high school, I was always the shy kid who was afraid to make any friends. The friends I did gain were through my best friend who decided one day that he was going to have a positive attitude about everything and suddenly got popular to the point that everyone knew him.

Note: Do NOT under any circumstances let girls come between your friendship. Obviously there are going to be some girls you are both interested in. Try backing off when he's going for a girl you like (hell, even give him some tips on how to get her)... He'll respect you for it and do the same for you. Then you guys respect each other enough to not go for the same girls. Pretty much, whoever says "I want her" first gets her. And then girls don't get in the way.

I say this because this is the reason why me and my best friend aren't even friends anymore. I stole his girlfriend from him, he stole her back, I stoler her back, he stole her back. It became war between us. I finally got tired of HER **** though and let him have her.

Anyway, where was I? Ah, my last year of high school. During my last year of high school, I felt like I had to make friends with my girlfriends friends so that it wouldn't get too akward being with her. She was popular so I knew that I'd have to break out of my shyness. So, I started introducing myself to them with a smile. And put on a "Dude!" personality. Like the one you see in Van Wilder. Those people always seem the most happy and outgoing. That got people to talk to me, and I slowly found myself talking to them more than my friends. In otherwords her friends became my new social group. And I was getting bored quickly. I'd talk to these people on the phone or online every night but they never seemed to want to do anything. So, finally my friend Chris and I started throwing partys at his house and inviting everyone we knew. And when they said "But I don't know some of these people" we'd be like "Well thats what we do. We bring people together". Needless to say, after we graduated, we no longer threw the partys because we were too busy going to other peoples partys.

Everyone knew who I was. Everyone was either a friend of me or wanted to be a friend of me. My downfall was when me and my girlfriend started arguing, I started treating them as if they were HER friends and not mine. Which pretty much made them all feel that I backstabbed them.

And I pretty much went back to my original friends. After breaking up with her, I applied what I learned from trying to make friends with her friends. You pretty much make the first step. Unless you have the biggest name in the city, no ones going to approach you first.

First, YOU introduce yourself with a smile. Secondly, YOU start a conversation. Thirdly, YOU throw the party and invite everyone that you met. YOU offer to listen to them when they have something they need to talk about. Finally, They'll invite you. And they'll listen to you when you need to talk. What you do for them, they will do for you.

I agree with everyone who posted. Great advice by everyone.