The "second date dud" and Advice for me.....please. (long)

[theguy351]

Background info on me: 18,drink alcohol, no pot in college upstate, live on long island, virgin, neer had a g.f but have hooked up with many girls.

on her: 18, smokes pot and drinks, in school on long island, has dated 5 guys i think, 2 of which were in their 20's.

So I recently just started hanging out with this girl. My brother knew her and introduced her to me. He gave me her number and i started texting her (about a week ago) and ever since she texts me everyday. We hung out for the first time last thursday. I picked her up at 5:30, we drove out to the hamptons, and talked alot. We get along really well, we have the same sense of humor, shes very attractive and appeared to like me. We grabbed some food and took it to my boat and ate there and talked more. My friend was having a party and we were gonna cruise over, but she had school in the am (summer college courses) and i took her home.

We get there and Shes like "well i had a fabulous time and we deffinately have to do it again sometime. I was like absoloutely and before i could go in for the kiss she goes "ok im gonna give u a kiss on the cheek i guess" she kisses my cheek and im like "just the cheek?" so she kisses me on the lips, not open mouth, but w.e. so i go to my friends party and shes texting me while im there, sayng how she wishes she went with me, and said the same thing the next day.

So we were supposed to hang on saturday, but her bf had a breakdown ans she tended to her. i didnt care i was with my boys anyway...but her and the cousin went to a party where one of her close guy friends was at and she texted me from the party.

So far, all signs point to her being in to me.

So yesterday, she promised her bf shed hang again, but wants to see me b4. so we go mini golfing and whatnot for a few hours. it was ok, not as good as the frist, but thats cause it was shorter and ****, but w.e it just seemed like a dud to me. After we finished golfing, we wanted to keep chilling but neither of us could think of anything to do. so i drove around her town for a lil and then took her home.

we get to her house, she says shes working til 8 today, if i wanna hang tonight, im like yea i want to. so shes like "im gonna give u a peck again." and pecks me...so im like "just a peck?" and shes like "yea!" (laughing and joking, thats how we are) and im like "come on!" and shes like "yea" and then i was kinda not thinking and said "what do u not like me?" (but still in the joking manner) and she just smiled and didnt answer (obv nervous to say whatever) and shes like "hey man ur not gonna peer pressure me" (joking) and ****....then i said id call her and drove away.

My general reason for posting this is i have a few questions:
1.) I need some cheap, easy and fun date/hang out ideas.
2.) Do you think the second date would put her off of me?
3.) What advice for landing this girl could you give me. (i know its totally subjective and 3rd party but im just blowing smoke here from being bored)

 

[theguy351]

bump please id like some input

 

[theguy351]

bumppp

 

[theguy351]

i was thinking about the next time we hang out, after she gets off work at 8 on weekdays, to tell her lets grab a quick bite and then drive down to the beach and eat and talk and **** for a lil...maybe that will lead to more...

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

sorry to tell u this. but she won't b my type. if its me i would avoid her cos first-i hate female smokers, i hate female pot smokers more(no offence guys). 5 guys in their 20s? when shes still a teen? sounds like signature of a slut(so not a long relationship potential). also, whats with all the bfs? y did they break up? DID SHE CHEAT?
keep these in your mind. not trying to piss u off.

 

[theguy351]

2 guys in their 20's, 3 who were 18.

i personally know 3 of her b.f's from sports.

1.) dumped her right before senior prom (was her first and longest bf) because he wasnt interested anymore. she hates him
2.) wasnt really a b.f, they hooked up for like 2 months, and he took her to her prom, she hates him.
3.) werent technically dating either, were together for 1 month. he got her into pot...but shes still not a pot head, she just likes to mellow and ****...plus at 18/19 in college its hard finding a hot girl who doesnt smoke pot at least a lil...and since i dont smoke (even if i try it with her) if we started dating she wouldnt do it as much cause shed be with me...
4.) dated for 2 weeks...never even had sex
5.) dated for just over a month....she said she bareley even liked him.

i know the first 3. all decent enough guys....

 

[slickaz]

looks like you already have your mind made up dude..

1.) I need some cheap, easy and fun date/hang out ideas.
- golf, roller rink, playing snooker/pool, arcade gaming, garden chilling, walk around the mall (talk and laugh, good way to get kno her better)
you could even take her to a second hand shop and tell her to show you her creativity by givin her a budget and sayin pick a shirt/pants and shoes within this budget. keep the budget to like smtn low.

2.) Do you think the second date would put her off of me?
- it will only put her of you if you screw up or if you do a boring date of dinner and a movie..dont give into her too much dude. ONEitis..remember

3.) What advice for landing this girl could you give me. (i know its totally subjective and 3rd party but im just blowing smoke here from being bored)
- play it easy, dont show you're absolutely infatuated with her, i know it hard! lol....you give her too much now and itll fizzle out like it did for her first bf where he just lost interest only it may be her losing it...
make sure she knows ur not wantin to be her friend....
dont listen to her problems and dramas, if it comes up too much just change topic.
dont talk to her everyday, let her know you're busy! and you will have to see when she fits in.
but when ur with her, give her full attention to what shes saying,
maybe even hold her hand tomoro or some kind of kino..start gently, she'll kno ur not playin around.

thats all i can say for now..good luck bro

 

[theguy351]

thanks for advice dudes...will update after the next date

 

[theguy351]

so ever since that second date, she hasnt texted me first once.....ive had to initate her. during the first week we were talking she would text me non-stop and talk about nothing and ****...idk maybe it was just getting comfortable or w.e, but now she hasnt texted me first...ive had to initiate, like i said. its making me think shes not interested anymore, but i might just be over thinking......

i wanna make sure the next time i take her out, i knock her socks off....so whats a sure fire way to do so, without making it look like im trying to hard, being corny and ****....?

also, would it be bad, to straight up text her and say: "so i gotta ask, are you interested in me? " ive been wanting to ask er that, but its prolly a bad idea.

 

[secks]

NO don't ask her if she is interested. SHOW her.

It sounds like she still is.

Just be yourself next time, have fun, don't try to impress.
Make sure you get a kiss though, even if she does the same thing she did during the second date. If she does that, just give her like a ****y smile, or whatever you would do, touch her or put your hand on her lap or something and be like come on. Show her you have some balls.

 

[theguy351]

so you dont think cause after the second date, SHE stopped texting ME that shes losing interest? what else would be the reason?

also, i asked her the last two nights, to let me know if she wanted to chill after work, and she said shed text me back but never did....idk could be her being busy....but im just gonna have to make sure that i get the third date and really make it count. would food+late evening beach suffice?

 

[Igetit!]

To be honest man,it does seem as if her interest in you has cooled off a bit.
I don't think that she would go from texting you everyday,to not texting you at all or only texting you when you text first for no reason.And that talk about her probably being too busy is a load of crap.You have a life,right? You have a job,family and friends,yet you are able to find time for someone you are interested in. Whenever girls say they are "too busy" when you try to spend time with them,my honest belief is that they are lying.I honestly,truely believe that.Like I said,I think her interest in you has cool off a little,however,I don't think it's over for you.What you need to do is reignite the spark again.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

So far, all signs point to her being in to me.

Your young and probably lack enough experience with women, so I'll cut you some slack. But there are soooooooooooooooo many things WRONG with this situation and this chick IS NOT into you, she's IN TO HERSELF!!

WTF are you doing taking a cheating slvt on dates?? She's showing you what your future will look like if you are stupid enough to be her next bf. She will (fuvk she already has) wrap you up in her spider-web and you will be her little b-itch boy. While you hang with your friends, she'll be going on a date with the next chump. I'll say this again so you can get this through your head: SHE'S NOT RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL; SHE'S A CHEATING, LYING W---HORE!!!

Sorry to burst your bubble bro, but all you are to her is a source of attention. She has other guys lined up, while you don't. She's playing you and your sitting here analyzing date ideas?? Again WTF is wrong with you?? :cuss:

These chicks are masters as seducing guys like you. She gives you just enough so you think your close to moving to the next level, just enough to keep you hooked and chasing her. Lets take a look at all the low interest/red flags with this chick:

-she rarely if ever initiates phone calls
-she has a BF: THIS IS THE BIGGEST RED FLAG EVER, SHE WILL DO THE SAME THING TO YOU IF YOUR STUPID ENOUGH TO KEEP PURSUING HER...
-she's only 18 but has dated A LOT of guys, and she's fuvked a lot of guys that you don't know about

Your done here bro, sure she might call you and want to hang out, but she's not going to fuvk you and you CHUMPED IT BIG TIME by asking her for more than just a kiss on the cheek. That shows her that your trapped in her web and the mind-fuvk has just started. Girls like her, like guys who don't call them constantly, who have their own lives and who are in control of the situation. You are completely under her spell and she has you wrapped around her finger.

Definitely do not ask her "if she's interested," that's so AFC its not enough funny. If you have to ask a chick if she's interested, SHE'S NOT!! Now impress me and drop this dumb byatch, learn from your mistakes and go meet some new chicks who will respect you and don't have more baggage than a airport security line...




PIMP

 

[theguy351]

Your young and probably lack enough experience with women, so I'll cut you some slack. But there are soooooooooooooooo many things WRONG with this situation and this chick IS NOT into you, she's IN TO HERSELF!!

WTF are you doing taking a cheating slvt on dates?? She's showing you what your future will look like if you are stupid enough to be her next bf. She will (fuvk she already has) wrap you up in her spider-web and you will be her little b-itch boy. While you hang with your friends, she'll be going on a date with the next chump. I'll say this again so you can get this through your head: SHE'S NOT RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL; SHE'S A CHEATING, LYING W---HORE!!!

Sorry to burst your bubble bro, but all you are to her is a source of attention. She has other guys lined up, while you don't. She's playing you and your sitting here analyzing date ideas?? Again WTF is wrong with you?? :cuss:

These chicks are masters as seducing guys like you. She gives you just enough so you think your close to moving to the next level, just enough to keep you hooked and chasing her. Lets take a look at all the low interest/red flags with this chick:

-she rarely if ever initiates phone calls
-she has a BF: THIS IS THE BIGGEST RED FLAG EVER, SHE WILL DO THE SAME THING TO YOU IF YOUR STUPID ENOUGH TO KEEP PURSUING HER...
-she's only 18 but has dated A LOT of guys, and she's fuvked a lot of guys that you don't know about

Your done here bro, sure she might call you and want to hang out, but she's not going to fuvk you and you CHUMPED IT BIG TIME by asking her for more than just a kiss on the cheek. That shows her that your trapped in her web and the mind-fuvk has just started. Girls like her, like guys who don't call them constantly, who have their own lives and who are in control of the situation. You are completely under her spell and she has you wrapped around her finger.

Definitely do not ask her "if she's interested," that's so AFC its not enough funny. If you have to ask a chick if she's interested, SHE'S NOT!! Now impress me and drop this dumb byatch, learn from your mistakes and go meet some new chicks who will respect you and don't have more baggage than a airport security line...




PIMP

worst response I have ever read on this entire site. Completely, 180 degrees away from the actual situation. Everyone who read that, now feels dumber. So you are incorrect, and my god have mercy on your soul.

 

[theguy351]

To be honest man,it does seem as if her interest in you has cooled off a bit.
I don't think that she would go from texting you everyday,to not texting you at all or only texting you when you text first for no reason.And that talk about her probably being too busy is a load of crap.You have a life,right? You have a job,family and friends,yet you are able to find time for someone you are interested in. Whenever girls say they are "too busy" when you try to spend time with them,my honest belief is that they are lying.I honestly,truely believe that.Like I said,I think her interest in you has cool off a little,however,I don't think it's over for you.What you need to do is reignite the spark again.

yea thats exactly how i feel. i figure im going to go out with her again, and try and make something happen...if it doesnt...oh well.

 

[theguy351]

....

 

[theguy351]

bump

 

[theguy351]

Bwump Bwummmmp

 

[The Inside Man]

btw quit texting ... one or two replies is ok but no texting convos, thats for chicks and their girl friends.

Also, Idont know if you like to go fishing but Ive had some great fishing dates. just the two of you out in a nice peaceful place on the water...And most girls suck at fishing so you can teach her aproper cast up close and personal. trust me its a good date, just use lures instead of messy bait. if shecatches something she'll be excited as shyet! If not, it will still be a fun unique date. This is coming from a country boy but I've done it succesfully several times

 

[theguy351]

btw quit texting ... one or two replies is ok but no texting convos, thats for chicks and their girl friends.

Also, Idont know if you like to go fishing but Ive had some great fishing dates. just the two of you out in a nice peaceful place on the water...And most girls suck at fishing so you can teach her aproper cast up close and personal. trust me its a good date, just use lures instead of messy bait. if shecatches something she'll be excited as shyet! If not, it will still be a fun unique date. This is coming from a country boy but I've done it succesfully several times

i live on long island...thats something i woudl do if we were dating for a while.....but not in the beginning.