"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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The science of masculine freedom AND the Bourne masculinity

The Bat

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I must credit Interceptor first because he mentioned this fellow Dr. Paul Dobransky in one of his posts. I thought I'd check out his blog page and I came across this two very insightful articles:

http://doctorpaul.net/joomla/blog/77-the-science-of-masculine-freedom.html

It's a long read so I'm going to quote some of the best parts (read the whole thing though):

It is built into the male animal nature to need the freedom to explore, to emote in ways that further their rise in status among other men, and not to emote just for the sake of doing so. The freedom to have self-determination in how one's time and energy and resources are used for building a life that is uniquely geared toward kind of "masculine mission" in life.
Our accomplishments as men cannot be gotten and heroically given to others without an ample balance of FREEDOM in our lives - to create, to lead, to build, to explore and adventure, to test ourselves, and to be alone to know that we know that we know we can stand on our own even in the midst of chaos and challenge.
To free yourself from the JAIL that is your past bad experiences, the negativity that has LOCKED you into pessimism, the belief that you CAN'T BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, the prison of your doubt, your fear, and your worry about what others will think of you.

Stop it.

Be FREE.

Do you realize that ANY ACTION you take that frees you in ANY WAY actually RAISES YOUR INNER SENSE OF MASCULINE POWER?
Here is the Bourne masculinity one:

http://doctorpaul.net/joomla/blog/38-the-bourne-masculinity.html

And some excerpts (the trilogy rocks by the way)

Your character growth is STRATEGIC, not necessarily TACTICAL. By strategic, I mean the overall plan for your life, and the way you can develop purposeful HABITS that over time, repeated application, and deep understanding, lead to all the long term success you are wanting. Tactics are just the current single actions you take. They may be effective today but not tomorrow. That's fine, but you need more than tactics in life.
Jason Bourne is so much more a superior spy-film action hero than James Bond because he is not a paper cutout or robotic killer with a misogynistic tint. He is emotionally vulnerable, can feel lost, confused, tender, can feel love for a woman, and yet not get so enslaved by his own emotions that they render him incapable of action, rationality, or purpose in life.

He has amnesia, but like the famous writer and psychiatrist, Victor Frankel did in the Nazi Concentration camp, he can find a purpose for his life, even if everything else out there is still a question mark, even his very identity, his real name. He decides at some point that even with people around every corner trying to kill him, he MUST discover who he really is.
We MUST find out who we are in this life, and discover our PURPOSE for being. Then we must use that HEART we've found - the tender well-being to care for others with, and the courage to face the unknown.
But if you add up all those individuals in your life, and all the challenges and troublesome problems that you have to solve just to get along as a man in the world today, the sum total of it all is not some specific conspiracy to "get you." It is all just random human behavior, and added up, means you no specific harm. Your environment doesn't even know you exist. It just does what it does.
Bourne finds that he has nothing to live for that OTHERS put onto him, but EVERYTHING to live for in discovering WHO HE IS. If he manages to find that, then he has found everything one needs to regain control of life, and perhaps one day (movie FOUR!) find love again.

Because he is an Everyman, he is you, and you are him in potential. So the journey ahead is no different for you.

Find yourself. And everything else - love, dating, career - they all just work out. Not randomly, like the environment around you, but because of the strategic nature of your CHARACTER.
Read those two articles in full. There are some very good tips about masculinity. So, what did we learn today?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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The Bat

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Bump.
 

The Bat

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Here is the updated link of science of masculine freedom:

http://www.doctorpaul.net/blog/science-of-masculine-freedom/

If that doesn't work, go to his main page. Then click on "Blogs" and scroll down a bit until you see the topic.

I couldn't access Page 2 of his blog so I'm not sure if the Bourne masculinity is on that page. I'm sure it is, but if anybody else sees it, please link it.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Alle_Gory

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Bourne Masculinity is deleted. Only left in Google Cache: http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cach...ty"&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=ca&client=firefox-a

THE BOURNE MASCULINITY

If any of you have seen this incredible new movie, the Bourne Ultimatum, then you know that there are rich and extensive lessons about masculinity and communicating to women right there for us to learn from.

I'm sure most of you have at least seen the first two films in the series, The Bourne Identity and or the Bourne Supremacy, but the third installment utterly outdoes everything else in action films you've likely ever seen. Yes, all the Die Hard films, all the Bonds, and even The Professional.

If you really dug into the mindOS material over the past few years, then you know how useful films are to learn from. The main character of a truly great film is ALWAYS an "EVERYMAN." This is one of those films.

Why an "Everyman?" Because if nearly anyone can get into the shoes of the main character, then you are watching right before your very eyes, the possible future life YOU could be having. In other words, if you could do EXACTLY the character decisions the main character makes, YOU will get exactly the same rewards the character gets at the climax.

So if YOU made the type of decisions Jason Bourne makes, then YOUR personal character would grow exactly in the ways his does. Who he is comes out of the result of what he DOES. He is unstoppable, and therefore so could YOU be.

Learning from this character doesn't mean that you have to go out and join the CIA black ops program. You don't have to get in firefights or fistfights. You can apply what you learn to how effective you are in relationships, your career, or nearly everything else in your life as a man.

Your character growth is STRATEGIC, not necessarily TACTICAL. By strategic, I mean the overall plan for your life, and the way you can develop purposeful HABITS that over time, repeated application, and deep understanding, lead to all the long term success you are wanting. Tactics are just the current single actions you take. They may be effective today but not tomorrow. That's fine, but you need more than tactics in life.

If you have seen my friend Mystery's new tv show, The Pickup Artist, then you are aware that everyone and their random acquaintances are now knowledgeable about certain specific TACTICS you can use in effectively communicating attractiveness to women. But these will work in some scenarios while not in others, may work today, or this year, but perhaps not tomorrow, or next year. You always have to EVOLVE if all you use are tactics.

The great thing about CHARACTER though - all the details we cover in the basic growth strategies of mindOS, refine in the KWML material, and bring strategically into full systematic approach in the Omega Male Seminar - is that your investment in your own character growth is the secret key to getting your entire life onto a strategic track of successful HABITS. You don't have to be always scrambling to learn the latest gimmicks and moves, the latest buzzwords and communication tricks. It's all on autopilot.

If you could break Jason Bourne down in three ways - body/physical, heart, and mind - you'd see something remarkable.

BODY/PHYSICAL

Some of my coaching staff have a gimmick they laugh about using. It's merely a TACTIC. Whether in romantically relating to women, or in friendships, competition with other males, and other social challenges, they call it THE TALONS OF ATTRACTION.

Like an eagle's talons, they joke with each other about how powerful it is to grip someone else's arm firmly, but with a spirit of kind leadership, and gently DIRECT them toward or away from themselves.

With a woman you are dating, this seems to get her very attracted to you (thus the term, Talons of ATTRACTION), and with moving other gentlemen AWAY from you with your "talons," it seems to magically encourage their RESPECT for you.

But that is mere TACTICS.

The actual STRATEGY of masculine character underneath this tactic is that it shows strong boundaries and territoriality, the term, "strength" literally being the very psychological resource stored in one's boundary.

Women actually then feel SAFER because of your presence, since they are hard-wired to be attracted to men who make them feel safe. And other competing men feel at first basic RESPECT for you (do to your understanding of the male need for personal territory - as in "get out of mine") and eventually RESPECT because you are conveying an instinct that they also have, but do not have the masculine experience to put into consistent ACTION. They then want to learn from you or be associated with you.

There is a kind of assertiveness and balanced restraint that must be used, and Jason Bourne does this in spades.

He is an Everyman in the sense that he is stressed and challenged much of the time by forces he does not know the full identity of, is therefore an underdog, slightly vulnerable, but has a fortitude, a strength of boundary in which he is willing to face the unknown in his search to find out who he is. (He has amnesia for his identity due to a government program that wipes out one's memory in order to train you to be an assassin, and due to head trauma suffered during his last sanctioned "kill.")

In using his body, he always has the Observing Ego turned on. He is aware of where all the threats are in his vicinity, and systematically takes them out with the least possible damage or harm to others, or himself of course.

This example of how boundary skill applies not only to our minds, but our bodies as well is amazing. Any of you who have taken advanced martial arts forms such as Aikido or Judo know that the most effective of all combat (or competition) is that in which you subdue an opponent without even causing them harm. In doing so, it is much more unlikely that they continue to cause you trouble. There isn't an "eye for an eye" revenge motive.

And that's what I mean by "restraint." When I teach you about the definition of a "gentleman" in some of my media appearances, or in detail in the Mature Masculine Power ecourse or DVDS, I tell you that a "gentleman is not a gentle man." He can meet direct force with direct force, can joust or duel as well as exercise diplomacy and politics where they are most effective.

Bourne does this compellingly after roughing up nearly half the Moscow police force, then, when in the clear superior position of having his gun trained on an officer, he does NOT pull the trigger. He can easily just leave without their further interference, and upon quickly realizing this with his Observing Ego skill (from mindOS), he simply says in perfect Russian, "My argument is not with you." Then he leaves with the great respect of the very officer who was hunting him down with "shoot to kill" orders only moments before.

This is the same effect you see when two dudes who don't know each other get in a fistfight that leaves them panting and laughing at the end, full of respect for each other's strength in battle, and now fast friends. (Remember the gun scene in the film, Swingers, when leads a few days later to playing video games together?)

Bourne is a leader in terms of his body language and physical action because of a special feature I teach you about in my most advanced material. He has practiced and practiced, and had experience after experience at using his body - the same way you develop skill during a bootcamp - to the point where he lets it all go on autopilot, INSTINCTS which he has come to TRUST intuitively, and knows that they can be let loose to produce results without him having to slowly think and plan out every move.

Great action scenes here.

HEART

When we are talking about the heart we are talking about more than just emotions. We are talking about self-esteem, which is completely spelled out for you in visual maps in the mindOS material. When we say that a man "has heart," we are talking about his fortitude of self-esteem, his ability to both care about a cause, a friend, or a woman, and at the same time, go out and defend those causes, friends, and the woman with COURAGE.

Jason Bourne is so much more a superior spy-film action hero than James Bond because he is not a paper cutout or robotic killer with a misogynistic tint. He is emotionally vulnerable, can feel lost, confused, tender, can feel love for a woman, and yet not get so enslaved by his own emotions that they render him incapable of action, rationality, or purpose in life.

He has amnesia, but like the famous writer and psychiatrist, Victor Frankel did in the Nazi Concentration camp, he can find a purpose for his life, even if everything else out there is still a question mark, even his very identity, his real name. He decides at some point that even with people around every corner trying to kill him, he MUST discover who he really is.

And isn't that just like you and me?

We MUST find out who we are in this life, and discover our PURPOSE for being. Then we must use that HEART we've found - the tender well-being to care for others with, and the courage to face the unknown.
 

Alle_Gory

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The rest:

MIND

Which brings us to Jason Bourne's MIND.

It's been somewhat erased.

The government is out to get him. People want to kill him, but through the course of the movie and all the government bureaucracy, we (and he) find that sometimes people are just taking orders, not really thinking about the ethics of why they are doing what they do.

Many a conspiracy theorist loves this aspect of the Bourne films, but if you look a little under the surface, how much more is there for us to learn.

The US government in the film is not just your average bad-guy villain. It is a fantastic metaphor for all the random, seemingly malevolent forces and challenges that surround us all every day. On an individual basis, individuals who hassle us may in fact mean us personal harm, destructiveness, and get pleasure out of seeing us in pain, or loss, or difficulty.

But if you add up all those individuals in your life, and all the challenges and troublesome problems that you have to solve just to get along as a man in the world today, the sum total of it all is not some specific conspiracy to "get you." It is all just random human behavior, and added up, means you no specific harm. Your environment doesn't even know you exist. It just does what it does.

Like Bourne uses the martial arts form called Krav Maga - an art of using everyday objects as defensive weapons - you too must use what you've got in your environment to defend yourself and build a life that suits your purpose for being here.

Bourne is a gentleman with "an edge." He knows how to defend, how to kill, how to automatically destroy by reflex in order to get his mission accomplished. But the metaphor for the film and its politics is that there is a far more profound aspect to being a man than simply taking orders and going on missions that don't help you become what you are meant to become.

While on that planned assassination so many years ago, when he lost his memory, the feature of the mind that he was starting to recover was that of his mature masculine ETHICS. That when he saw that his "target" was not just an Enemy of the State, but a father of young children, a husband, and a pawn in the game of government intrigue, just like himself, he couldn't pull the trigger.

And that wasn't weakness. It was growth into a new phase of being a man, one who came back more powerful than a mere bag of assassin-tactics could ever be.

Bourne finds that he has nothing to live for that OTHERS put onto him, but EVERYTHING to live for in discovering WHO HE IS. If he manages to find that, then he has found everything one needs to regain control of life, and perhaps one day (movie FOUR!) find love again.

Because he is an Everyman, he is you, and you are him in potential. So the journey ahead is no different for you.

Find yourself. And everything else - love, dating, career - they all just work out. Not randomly, like the environment around you, but because of the strategic nature of your CHARACTER.
 

The Bat

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I can't go back and edit my original post so thanks for posting the full article, AG.

There is some new articles on his blog that are worth the read too. Somebody send that man a invite to this place! Ha!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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