Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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The Science of Love

Rollo Tomassi

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Though I consider myself a pretty well read, intellectual fellow, I'm generally not the type of guy to put down good money for a National Geographic Magazine. However this is exactly what I did last weekend when I was perusing the magazine rack at my local grocery store for the latest copy of Flex. The cover story was the 'Science of Love' - an obvious ploy to increase sales around Valentines Day, but one that worked in my case. Although it was flowery in it's approach (written by a woman naturally), it broke down a lot of the bio-chemestry and bio-psychology involved in 'love'. It really refered more to the mechanics of attraction IMHO, but it broke it down into nuts & bolts. I'm recommending this as a good read for the forum here, but unfortunately you'll have to buy the magazine for the full article (it's only $5).

Do however have a look at the forum responses regarding the article though:

Science of Love Forum

This was my reason for starting this thread actually, because it provides us here with a fantastic cross-section of responses to popular opinion with regard to love and/or popular perception of it. Notice how the responses vary between men and women, and also among married and age deliniations. Keep in mind these aren't people on some dating site or necessarily familiar with our community, so their biases are their own. Just from scanning the first few pages you'll be floored by absolute pervasiveness that the 'soulmate myth' plays in the popular consciousness.

Thought this might make for a good discussion.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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speedo_meme

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I recommend "Muscle and Fitness" over "Flex" :D
 

Colossus

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I agree with the widespread acceptance and subsequent behavioral manifestations that come from the "soulmate myth". I used to be that guy.

I personally think there are many different potential partners that a person could have a fulfilling relationship with throughout different stages of life. Life changes and so do people. IMO, the soulmate myth is a significant contributory factor to the "relationship-hopping" culture in America today. Nobody can ever live up to an idealized standard of perfection.

On a side note, I am very sceptical of any scientific claims made in tabliod muscle-mags like FLEX. While it makes for motivational and entertaining reading, many of the biological facts and figures found in flex are not substantiated; they are just that--claims. Let me see some peer-reviewed research published in a reputable professional journal, then I'll take it seriously. I think a dissapointing percentage of writers in mags like that are quacks with no science background whatsoever. They are just self-educated meatheads who think that because of their personal success in bodybuilding and selected readings, they are "experts".

Anyways, I had to rant a little (Im a physiology student). :rolleyes:
 

Rollo Tomassi

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COLOSSUS: This article wasn't in FLEX, it was in National Geographic.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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treefingers

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Science has explained the underlying neurochemistry that creates the feeling of love/lust. To make a relationship work beyond that takes(I'm guessing here) mutual respect and selflessness. The old timers seemed better at this than todays youngsters.
 
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