"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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The Scarcity Dilemma

The Bat

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mrRuckus said:
It's really diminishing returns. I don't know if i'd go as low as a 6 like you said, but after a certain amount of attractiveness, what's the point other than to impress your friends? If she turns you on and you want to hit it all the time and generally like to look at her, what do even better looks in a girl really add? Not much. Hell, i think the extra looks might detract from things because she's more likely to be skating through life from her looks and other psych things...

Say you're a man who really likes large breasts. Is the fact that she's a C cup instead of the D cup you'd prefer really something you think about and cause you to not appreciate her Cs?
For AFCs, that is EXACTLY the point. It's a form of validation. It allows them to showcase their girlfriend to friends. When the AFC sense jealousy from friends, he is immediately gratified. He feels happy, valid, and wanted.

This is exactly what manifests into a scarcity dilemma. The AFC feels that he must land a 8-10 to be showcased to his friends, who in turn, will feed his ego and make him happy.

And you're spot on when you say that after a certain level of attractiveness, there isn't really much that is added to the girl. In fact, some things are lost such as healthy self-esteem, broad perspectives, and intelligence. Note that I'm generalizing and you can definitely find exceptions. My point, however, still stands.

From what I gather, the point of abundance mentality should be that you date 6's and 7's to establish a non-desperate lifestyle. Because when that 9 or 10 high quality does come along, you will be able to easily land her since you're not desperate and needy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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potato

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ketostix said:
Oh the beauty is superficial argument. Just about every woman perpetuates this myth. I don't believe beauty is shallow at all. I think it's a sign of good health and fitness.
I agree. There are definite differences between beautiful women and unattractive women. Very beautiful women tend to stay beautiful throughout their lives. That beauty tends to be the result of a healthy and thoughtful lifestyle.

The Bat said:
From what I gather, the point of abundance mentality should be that you date 6's and 7's to establish a non-desperate lifestyle. Because when that 9 or 10 high quality does come along, you will be able to easily land her since you're not desperate and needy.
This is all assuming that beauty aside all things are equal. They are not. Those 6’s and 7’s are not at all the same as the 9’s and 10’s and whatever it is that you are doing to attract the 6 may not be seen in the same light by the 10.

Women should not be rated on specific physical attributes, which is subjective to some extent, but on a woman’s ability to attract men which is what we are really talking about.

A cute girl growing up is treated by society in a favorable manner, an ugly girl growing up tends to be treated by society in a way that is often destructive to their development. This polarization shows up in social skills and successes in life.

Say there is a man who is highly desirable to women. The girls who are 6’s and 7’s would know of their limited probability of ever hooking up with such a man whereas the 10 would have a great deal of confidence to talk openly with the man.

Likewise a man who regularly carries on with 6’s and 7’s will not necessarily alleviate his neediness or whatever when it comes to 9’s and 10’s. Driving a minivan does not qualify one to drive an Indy car.
 

guru1000

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potato said:
Likewise a man who regularly carries on with 6’s and 7’s will not necessarily alleviate his neediness or whatever when it comes to 9’s and 10’s.
Without options, a pedestal is in place.
 

The Bat

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potato said:
I agree. There are definite differences between beautiful women and unattractive women. Very beautiful women tend to stay beautiful throughout their lives. That beauty tends to be the result of a healthy and thoughtful lifestyle.

This is all assuming that beauty aside all things are equal. They are not. Those 6’s and 7’s are not at all the same as the 9’s and 10’s and whatever it is that you are doing to attract the 6 may not be seen in the same light by the 10.

Women should not be rated on specific physical attributes, which is subjective to some extent, but on a woman’s ability to attract men which is what we are really talking about.

A cute girl growing up is treated by society in a favorable manner, an ugly girl growing up tends to be treated by society in a way that is often destructive to their development. This polarization shows up in social skills and successes in life.

Say there is a man who is highly desirable to women. The girls who are 6’s and 7’s would know of their limited probability of ever hooking up with such a man whereas the 10 would have a great deal of confidence to talk openly with the man.

Likewise a man who regularly carries on with 6’s and 7’s will not necessarily alleviate his neediness or whatever when it comes to 9’s and 10’s. Driving a minivan does not qualify one to drive an Indy car.
Alright, I didn't ask for Elen DeGeneres' advice or insight.
 

FM 3321

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Wow, honestly this thread confuses the hell out of me. Bottom line I want the women who I'm highly sexually attracted to to feel the same way about me. If I think a girl is a 10 I want to see her as a 10 not a 6. In my mind when I'm smitten by a girl she automatically becomes a 10 in my eyes. I think we're all here to figure out how to become the sexually attractive mature man we all want to be instead of that insecure scared little boy when it comes to dealing with these 10's or any woman we're highly attracted to. As for the scarcity dilemma I think it depends on your game with women.


With that said, the original post seems like a good write up but it seems to argue that there is something wrong with wanting beautiful women. I love tan, brunette, gorgeous women so that's what I tend to go after. I remember falling in love with a girl who I didn't think was so hot at first sight but her accent and personality and her cute looks got her up to a 10 in my eyes. I love seeing women as 10's. It feels great.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Jeffst1980

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Looks are pretty subjective anyway. I can think of many celebrities that are upheld as 10's, but turn into 7s when the makeup washes away. It's also pointless basing your approaches on whether she is a 6 or a 10, because the assumption that every 10 has great self esteem is bogus. Both a 6 and a 10 will have plenty of guys approach them, regardless.

I like Guru's post.
 
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