So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I'm moving out of my place today, and will no longer have the internet... so I'm going to talk about the roommate I've been living with for the past few months. Leave you guys with a little discussion.
My roommate has a 5 yr old duaghter, with a woman that left half-way across the country to start her life over with her two previous children. I'm not going to pretend that I know the whole story, because I don't.
Anyway, I show up, and I've started working with him since... so I see the guy fairly often... after the breakup he's gone 7 months where he's been trying to get this woman back in his life... the thing is, they've both cheated on each other numerous times. To me, I'm thinking "Why are you trying to get backwith a cheating woman? It just doesn't make sense to me?"
"It's different when you have kids." I don't have any of my own, so I'm automatically put in the category of 'your advice doesn't count anyway'.
So, finally, the guy sees me dating all these girls, and bringing some home from time to time (which is amazing, since my room I've dubbed 'The dungeon', a dark basement with cement floors and with less than half the place drywalled... what can I say? You show up in a new city with 300$ in your pockets, you take what you can get.), so he starts to search the online dating sites to look for a replacement. At first I'm thinking 'Great, he's gonna start putting her behind.'
Then, about a week of few replies later, he's back to calling the ex, trying to convince her to come back home and be a family again... "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" keeps racing through my mind.
Another week goes by, and he starts getting some decent replies in his 'websearch', I know because he shows me each one. Finally he gets one of them on the phone... holy shyt this was a different guy; he was being c&f, controlling the situation, not revealing much about himself, asking questions, and everything in the books that raises interest.
Naturally, he starts dating again because he says the right things, but doesn't know how to react to shyt tests (I watched him 'fail' one, and since I was standing next helped him 'pass' a couple).
Then he gets back on the phone with the ex again... but then the next phone call is to the girl that he was dating (He rejected my idea of dating EACH and ALL of his replies)... and he gets that attitude back, you can hear the change in his personality.
So, the questions I would have...
1 - On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being Hardcore AFC, 5 being Neither and 10 being 'DJ' : Where would you place this guy?
2 - Does having children in the mix really justify his behavior, and the acceptance of her behavior?
3 - Would you stick around in that situation? Or would you cut your losses, and NEXT the woman, bringing the child with?
4 - Is it possible that the guy really is 'DJ' material, but feels forced into 'AFC' actions for the benefit of the child?
I've got my views on the subject, but I would also like to see if there's a more useful perspective.
Discuss.
My roommate has a 5 yr old duaghter, with a woman that left half-way across the country to start her life over with her two previous children. I'm not going to pretend that I know the whole story, because I don't.
Anyway, I show up, and I've started working with him since... so I see the guy fairly often... after the breakup he's gone 7 months where he's been trying to get this woman back in his life... the thing is, they've both cheated on each other numerous times. To me, I'm thinking "Why are you trying to get backwith a cheating woman? It just doesn't make sense to me?"
"It's different when you have kids." I don't have any of my own, so I'm automatically put in the category of 'your advice doesn't count anyway'.
So, finally, the guy sees me dating all these girls, and bringing some home from time to time (which is amazing, since my room I've dubbed 'The dungeon', a dark basement with cement floors and with less than half the place drywalled... what can I say? You show up in a new city with 300$ in your pockets, you take what you can get.), so he starts to search the online dating sites to look for a replacement. At first I'm thinking 'Great, he's gonna start putting her behind.'
Then, about a week of few replies later, he's back to calling the ex, trying to convince her to come back home and be a family again... "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" keeps racing through my mind.
Another week goes by, and he starts getting some decent replies in his 'websearch', I know because he shows me each one. Finally he gets one of them on the phone... holy shyt this was a different guy; he was being c&f, controlling the situation, not revealing much about himself, asking questions, and everything in the books that raises interest.
Naturally, he starts dating again because he says the right things, but doesn't know how to react to shyt tests (I watched him 'fail' one, and since I was standing next helped him 'pass' a couple).
Then he gets back on the phone with the ex again... but then the next phone call is to the girl that he was dating (He rejected my idea of dating EACH and ALL of his replies)... and he gets that attitude back, you can hear the change in his personality.
So, the questions I would have...
1 - On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being Hardcore AFC, 5 being Neither and 10 being 'DJ' : Where would you place this guy?
2 - Does having children in the mix really justify his behavior, and the acceptance of her behavior?
3 - Would you stick around in that situation? Or would you cut your losses, and NEXT the woman, bringing the child with?
4 - Is it possible that the guy really is 'DJ' material, but feels forced into 'AFC' actions for the benefit of the child?
I've got my views on the subject, but I would also like to see if there's a more useful perspective.
Discuss.