"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Right Attitude: Self-Fulfulling

kel

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Well I hardly feel i'm qualified to be posting a tip, but this worked well for me, and I thought perhaps I could share.

I've been out of a real relationship for over a year now, and aside from some hookups here and there, i've been single. Anyway, the other night, a girl I'd been seeing kinda sporadically indicated she was probably looking for a relationship. Where this goes isn't really the point, but I just want to use it as a frame of reference.

The next morning I woke up and went about my day with not a care in the world regarding the opposite sex. It was the same sort of nonchalance one walks around with when they're in a commited relationship.

This got me thinking, since I've been having trouble getting in the right mindset lately. I dont want to come across too eager, desperate, or pathetic of course, but acting too disinterested doesn't lead where I want it to either!

Then I realized that the way my non-single friends act is precisely the way I needed to be acting. So today after the feeling had worn off, I just walked around with two thoughts in my mind: 1) I have a girlfriend (even though I don't. trust me, it works) 2) If I decided to sleep with you, I'd give you the best sex you'll ever have.

Sounds presumtuous, but it works. This is all internal, since I'm not telling people this stuff, but it communicates itself non-verbally. The way you carry yourself and interact are fundamentally changed, but very subtly so it doesn't seem affected or fake.

Anyway, i wanted to share this thought, see what people think. I think that if you adopt the exact mindset of what you want to be, then reality will match you.

--Kel
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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Very good point. Ironically, it does seem as though more women are interested when you're in a relationship, and perhaps it is due to this nonchalant attitude you describe.
 

jakethasnake

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So simple, but profound.


I find my self doing this sub-consciously sometimes, but it really rings true when I actually catch myself doing it - then I realize just how effective this mindset-control technique is.
 
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