The reason I came to SS wants me to call her...

[SynTheUnscathed]

OK, this kinda came out of the blue, and I am not really sure how to handle it, so I need some So Suave Sage advice.

Quick background.

I met this girl around 4 years ago. Beautiful, fun, a musician, and we hit it off fairly well. She lives 2 hours from me, and I was too much of an AFC to get her number. 2 years later we meet again, she invites me to a party I go, but this guy who likes her is all of her, and we really dont get to talk. Oh, before that we talked on the phone for a bit. But, I couldnt tell if she was interested in me or not.

Enter present time. My mom goes to a party that she is at, and she is asking my mom to tell me to call her. And that she wanted me to call her before. BUT, she is dating that dude that is all over her, and is a TOTAL WUSSY AFC. Its been a year and a half since I last seen her, and I very surprised she even remembered me.

So, now she is waiting for my call. She has a bf that I think she isnt happy with, I want to be confident and pass her crap tests, but she has to have some interest level in me to remember from all this time, as ask my moms to tell me to call her right?

Direction would be good.

Thanks,

Syn

 

[flippinfreak]

Remember your training... that is definitely key. If you have only the knowledge and have been KBJing your way around the site for two years too scared to test any of the advice, than I feel sorry for you.

TO fix it though...

What are your plans...

IN YOUR OWN WORDS!!!!

?

 

[flexion_]

I personally think this girl has no interest in whatsoever and just was making polite conversation with your mom.

If you are going to call her make a direct attempt. Call her up...
"Hey! Lets catch up. I'm going to blah blah on (day of the week) and why don't you come along."

If she waffles you know your answer, if not, once you have her isolated then you'll know pretty quickly what the deal is...

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

I personally think this girl has no interest in whatsoever and just was making polite conversation with your mom.

If you are going to call her make a direct attempt. Call her up...
"Hey! Lets catch up. I'm going to blah blah on (day of the week) and why don't you come along."

If she waffles you know your answer, if not, once you have her isolated then you'll know pretty quickly what the deal is...

Hahah...well, my plan was to try a direct approach. Say heys whats up, chit chat for sec, pass her crap tests, and say look I am interested in you, lets hang out some time, and see what she says.
Oh, if the girl has no interest in me whatsoever, why would she go out of her way, to have me call her?

If it was just convo, why should I call her? When I her boyfriend came in, she acted cold toward him infront of my mom. Just too many factors show she is interested.

I think I know what to do, just wanted to get some opinions before I do my thing.

Oh and another thing, after the party was over, and the girl left, my mom stayed for a while. Mom went to her car to leave, and there we was WAITING by her car. This is when she asked my mom to tell me to call her. Not interested whatsoever? I dont think so.

-Syn

 

[superchristx]

look I am interested in you

NO *slaps Syn* NO! Heed the freak, and remember your training. If you say anything about your own feelings, it should be a lie.

"Yeah, at first I was like 'mom, who the **** are you talking about?'"
"So much has changed over the last two years, it seems like twenty!"

Flexion's direct approach is the correct approach.

His says "Oh yeah I remember you, maybe you're worth knowing I can't remember so you can just tag along while I do something that I was gonna do anyway. If you please me, I'll buy you a cup of coffee later."

Your says: "Look I am interested in you. Even though I haven't seen you for over a year, I have been filling up gym socks while thinking about you the whole time. Well I sure am single, you've got a boyfriend? That's okay I'll take a few measly scraps of your time."

Keep it casual. Stay positive, don't try too hard, remember to act a little bit bored at least once during the night. Say "Oh I stopped listening to you, say that again?" once during the night. Refuse to do something for her at least once during the night. Refuse to believe something she says, at least once. This is gonna be easy.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Ok, so when I talk to her, act like I dont remember her?

And just invite to go to the movies with me friends this weekend and grab some coffee afterwards...cool.

So, when I talk to her, dont try to initiate anything? Should I even ask her if she has a bf?

And she is interested in me, because after a year she is wanting me to call her. If this was reversed and I was talking to her mom, I think she would definitely think I was interested in her. What you guys think?

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Update- I called her, talk to her about 5 minutes, and she invited me to a party she will be throwing sometime..but she doesnt have a date for it yet. I dont know what she is playing at. She said she is going to invite a few of my friends, but when I talked to them they heard nothing about it. Is she testing my interest level?

I think she was with her boyfriend when I called her because she didn't talk much and kept it very formal. After all the effort she went through to get me to call her, this seems inconsistent.

Now what?

 

[MightyMate]

Ring her ask whats going on. Say You are busy next days but You can meet her later, so You will call in the day. Call her same day and say You are free now and can meet.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Hmm possibly, but remember she lives 2hours away. We would have to set something up before hand. I am seeing Xmen next weekend should I just invite her to see that?

Peace

 

[penkitten]

dude you already know what to do. she invited you to the party and said she doesnt have a date yet. its because she wants you to say something along the lines of "so if you beg me to be your date for this party, you'll be my slave all night?" haha or something to that effect.
once you do that, she will either get the bf out of sight. once you get to the party and hang out, and things go well, she will kick him to the curb.

 

[flippinfreak]

dude you already know what to do. she invited you to the party and said she doesnt have a date yet. its because she wants you to say something along the lines of "so if you beg me to be your date for this party, you'll be my slave all night?" haha or something to that effect.
once you do that, she will either get the bf out of sight. once you get to the party and hang out, and things go well, she will kick him to the curb.

pen... you've been here a long time. Ever hear a good argument for what you just said?

If this guy is looking for any form of LTR with this girl... think she will be faithful?

Does having a faithful girl even matter? Do LTR's matter? You know what I'm taling about. I'm talking about all of the monogamy vs polygamy crap.

 

[penkitten]

pen... you've been here a long time. Ever hear a good argument for what you just said?

If this guy is looking for any form of LTR with this girl... think she will be faithful?

Does having a faithful girl even matter? Do LTR's matter? You know what I'm taling about. I'm talking about all of the monogamy vs polygamy crap.

he really didnt say if he wanted her back or not, he just wanted to know what she was doing.
if she really has feelings for him, they will show thru.
personally, nothing i ever did with an ex ever worked out on a second try, but thats just me.
sometimes its more trouble than its worth, however sometimes you just wanna know if you still got it, and then leave them hanging the second time around.