The Question No One Asked That People Should Know

[DJnoob]

When does the challenge end? WOmen like a challenge? When does it OFFICIALL END?

1. After the sex?
2. before the sex?
3. After they find out you like them (before having sex)
4. After they find out you like thme (after having sex)

 

[Rubato]

When does the challenge end? WOmen like a challenge? When does it OFFICIALL END?

1. After the sex?
2. before the sex?
3. After they find out you like them (before having sex)
4. After they find out you like thme (after having sex)

David Deida answered this question in his book The Way of the Superior Man.

For a superior man - the challenge never ends. So stop looking for an end and expecting to find one.

 

[Desdinova]

Marriage

 

[DJnoob]

just as i thought. NO one can pick from 1-4

 

[sodbuster]

It doesn't end,after marriage you STILL get tests,still have to maintain the frame...if there is a power vacuum...SHE will fill it. Then you end up asking "mommie" for permission

 

[Rubato]

just as i thought. NO one can pick from 1-4

When you artificially limit a question's answer to a list like that, you may be excluding the right answer.

In this case, you are.

Give me a reason why the challenge would suddenly end after any of those conditions, especially given sodbuster's excellent point.

 

[Desdinova]

It doesn't end,after marriage

It certainly was for my ex. Once the marriage and honeymoon were over, she quit doing ANYTHING to maintain the relationship. She figured she could go out and do whatever the fvck she wanted, and I would have to remain faithful and loyal. There was no challenge anymore, the marriage certificate put an end to it. I now had to be a loyal husband because that's what the legal documentation enforces. Her mission to 'conquer' me over all the other interested women was over.

 

[Rubato]

It certainly was for my ex. Once the marriage and honeymoon were over, she quit doing ANYTHING to maintain the relationship. She figured she could go out and do whatever the fvck she wanted, and I would have to remain faithful and loyal. There was no challenge anymore, the marriage certificate put an end to it. I now had to be a loyal husband because that's what the legal documentation enforces. Her mission to 'conquer' me over all the other interested women was over.

Then, respectfully Desdinova, it sounds like you married a low quality woman. Your bad experience isn't necessarily generalizable to the rest of the realm of experience. If you had found a woman who didn't substantially change after marriage, would you still feel this way?

 

[Kailex]

When does the challenge end? WOmen like a challenge? When does it OFFICIALL END?

1. After the sex?
2. before the sex?
3. After they find out you like them (before having sex)
4. After they find out you like thme (after having sex)

When you die or when your sex drive hits 0.
Sometimes, it's both at the same time.

 

[floydb25]

Interesting question... I thought about this before, as well. I don't think you can be a challenge forever - unless you're never planning on falling in love, or having a meaningful relationship with someone. No one is going to chase you forever... They just want to feel like they EARNED you; there has to be a prize. They're going to get tired of it after a while. You can only dangle the carrot for so long before they realize its futile. I did this with girls, as well. Waste of time to chase someone forever.

I think it becomes more of a balancing act than being a challenge after a while. You don't pull a 180, and start giving 100% all the time, but you don't necessarily hold back as much either.

Truth is, infatuation is going to wear off eventually. That's when challenge is key, and attraction is at its peak. Once that fades - there's not much you can do about that. And really, thats the true test on if they really love you, or are simply being excited by the emotions and thrill of the chase. If someone loses interest once they find out the real you - they're not worth keeping in the first place. It's pointless to be a challenge forever just to keep someone.

That doesn't mean you give your all, though. Nor does it mean you don't stand up for yourself, and let her get away with anything. That's more into chump territory than being a challenge. You should always act like a man, and stick to your beliefs; put your foot down; not allow yourself to be walked all over; etc. Just because you love someone - doesn't mean you have to stop respecting yourself.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If you think game is something that you turn on and off your dead wrong and totally missing the point. The teachings on this site you have to internalize and make a part of your being your persona. YOU have to BE the game, now and forever. Otherwise your just some chump playing pretend.

Sure there's tactics you apply at bars and clubs, that stuff you only do when you feel like picking up. But the teachings regarding the politics of male to female relations you keep forever. This stuff is not hard, once you know the basic philosophy it should all come together naturally. Women MUST always know they are with a strong man, like dogs they can smell the fear on your breath. And just as quickly replace your "when does it end" beta self with a real DJ. Regardless of kids, money, situation, length/girth and that's if your lucky! and she just doesn't cheat on you for years while you are supporting her cheating arse... and maybe indirectly supporting him too... the horror.

 

[IamJosan]

This is a really good question! I was talking to my friend about this. I asked him if he spoke with his girlfriend on the phone everyday, and texted her everyday and he said yes. And then I asked him if there was ever a time when he didn't text or call her, and he said no, except for if she went on vacation, or something like that. But he would talk to her everyday!

And then I asked him if the passion was the same now, as it was 2 years ago, since the beginning of their relationship. He also replied with No.

So I told him you have to stop talking and texting her so much and hanging out with her so much. They talk and hang out so much that it becomes a routine, and routines become bland and boring.

And that's the same thing that happens to everyone else's relationships. In order for that not to happen, is to constantly balance the relationship. Keep her wanting more from you. When you feel like your relationship is becoming a routing, back off.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This is a really good question! I was talking to my friend about this. I asked him if he spoke with his girlfriend on the phone everyday, and texted her everyday and he said yes. And then I asked him if there was ever a time when he didn't text or call her, and he said no, except for if she went on vacation, or something like that. But he would talk to her everyday!

And then I asked him if the passion was the same now, as it was 2 years ago, since the beginning of their relationship. He also replied with No.

So I told him you have to stop talking and texting her so much and hanging out with her so much. They talk and hang out so much that it becomes a routine, and routines become bland and boring.

And that's the same thing that happens to everyone else's relationships. In order for that not to happen, is to constantly balance the relationship. Keep her wanting more from you. When you feel like your relationship is becoming a routing, back off.

I don't think this way, I have seen folks suggesting this here before. I guess if this is a woman you have no intention of ever getting serious with then go ahead and use tactics like this, no problem there. But what happens if she moves in? or you get married? Your gonna hide in the bathroom all day? Hiding from my relationship defeats the purpose of having it in the first place...

I keep my woman with me through thick and thin, if we get bored then we figure something out together. Anyways one of the first things I do in a relationship is get across the point that i'm not fvcking entertainment! Anyways you have to learn how to be around each other without getting on each others nerves. And I would much prefer to work this out in the beginning of a relationship rather than the end.

I admit that I do use some particular tactics to accomplish this. First thing is the premise of the visit. If shes coming over on a Sat to hang out when we hang out together fine. But I will pick a day she usually likes to come over and tell her that i just feel like reading or studying that day. I will suggest that it might be a boring day for her, and see if she still wants to see me. Usually shes bored too and figures she would rather be bored with me than anything else. So she comes over maybe brings a book or something to do and I do my thing. What's important is that she gets used to being around me and not on top of me. Once this is established and she has a couple of her fav books at my house or whatever. I can now elevate it to "hey babe I just bought ModernWarfare 3 and all my friends are playing it. I'm just gonna order chinese and veg out all night." So now she knows what to expect, she knows what she is going to do.