You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
David Deida answered this question in his book The Way of the Superior Man.DJnoob said:
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
When you artificially limit a question's answer to a list like that, you may be excluding the right answer.DJnoob said:
It certainly was for my ex. Once the marriage and honeymoon were over, she quit doing ANYTHING to maintain the relationship. She figured she could go out and do whatever the fvck she wanted, and I would have to remain faithful and loyal. There was no challenge anymore, the marriage certificate put an end to it. I now had to be a loyal husband because that's what the legal documentation enforces. Her mission to 'conquer' me over all the other interested women was over.sodbuster said:
Then, respectfully Desdinova, it sounds like you married a low quality woman. Your bad experience isn't necessarily generalizable to the rest of the realm of experience. If you had found a woman who didn't substantially change after marriage, would you still feel this way?Desdinova said:
When you die or when your sex drive hits 0.DJnoob said:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I don't think this way, I have seen folks suggesting this here before. I guess if this is a woman you have no intention of ever getting serious with then go ahead and use tactics like this, no problem there. But what happens if she moves in? or you get married? Your gonna hide in the bathroom all day? Hiding from my relationship defeats the purpose of having it in the first place...IamJosan said: