the problem with mall /cold approaches :"i don't know you"

[KneghtRyder]

"how can I trust you"

" your a stranger"


THEY KNOW nothing about your SOCIAL value or whether your lying or not , so its very tough...
even though you couild be making 100K a year..
I've said before "you should get to know me, then you won't be a stranger"

"I can't prove it, but i am the safest guy around"

I finally decided the best SOLUTION to this iS TO HAVE OUR FIRST DATE RIGHT THEN AND THERE GO UP TO THE FOOD COURT AND DO IT NOW...dont convince her, just lead her

 

[Dannyrt34]

I work at the mall, it is fairly easy to meet girls there if you work there. I never really liked going there only for the purpose of meeting girls.

In fact, I can't stress this enough, but don't go ANYWHERE just to meet girls. Sure, you can go places that you know there will be girls, but go there to have fun with friends and such. If you see a hottie you'd like to meet in the process, then she's fair game. Just go out and enjoy yourself, there's girls everywhere.

 

[azanon]

In fact, I can't stress this enough, but don't go ANYWHERE just to meet girls. Sure, you can go places that you know there will be girls, but go there to have fun with friends and such. If you see a hottie you'd like to meet in the process, then she's fair game. Just go out and enjoy yourself, there's girls everywhere.

Don't miss this one fellows; some simple advice is pretty profound. A woman is something that comes along with a meaningful and purpose-filled life.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I work at the mall, it is fairly easy to meet girls there if you work there. I never really liked going there only for the purpose of meeting girls.

In fact, I can't stress this enough, but don't go ANYWHERE just to meet girls. Sure, you can go places that you know there will be girls, but go there to have fun with friends and such. If you see a hottie you'd like to meet in the process, then she's fair game. Just go out and enjoy yourself, there's girls everywhere.

I used to say that and I rarley met chicks any other way.You have to look for them....

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I put out small signals and wait for replies and if the girl slows down her walk or gets in my vecinity ...i'll break the ice with a greeting &a few stupid questions and let the body language take the convo somewhere else..

But other than that keep cold approaches were they are meant to be kept...the clubs,parties,get togethers,etc...

 

[tobby]

KneghtRyder, you're not doing anything wrong, but again most women even if they're really attracted to a guy don't like to just go out and meet up with strangers. It kind of throws cold approach down a notch, BY no means am I saying that you shouldn't do it , but you have to understand that there are so many weirdos and strangers nowadays so most women are a little more guarded.

Grabbing them right then and there may not be such a good idea, (adds to your weird vibe), but again it all depends on the girl. You really need to show a calm, relaxed vibe, and not care either way. The less emphasis you put on her responses the better.

 

[greenlake]

Hmmm.....i never face those kind of problems. maybe because i usually direct approach girls at the mall and that's my reason i go up to her, there is nothing left for her to be suspicious of. i also agree that u need to be relax when u approach her.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

But other than that keep cold approaches were they are meant to be kept...the clubs,parties,get togethers,etc...

Society blocker that we as DJs are above, we can cold approach anywhere we want, within reason.

Plus who cares if ur going to a mall just to sarge, why hide that purpose to urself?

 

[Poonani Maker]

sh|t man, just today I was at the mall in Eddie Bauer and this saleslady, it seems like there's a different one every week - they probably don't make much, a tall blonde about 34, was all in my dressing room trying to hand me more clothes and open my door pushing more clothes on me. When you're with a sales associate like that it's very easy to neg and show her that you don't want that because of this, be very decisive in your selection, and if she shows you this say, "I don't like that" and "no" and use her name a lot in conversation, you know hers before she knows yours. A lot of them have low self-esteem and are bored. Plus, she's already seen you half-naked, the older ones will especially be peeping. "Will you steam these shirts before I buy them?" Make them jump through your hoops before you buy. If you've got your act together, your look is set, then gaming the employees at the mall should not be a problem. If you look like a needy little desparate rat then you'll have problem before you even get started.

But yeah, you've gotta reframe the qualifying when it occurs as her qualifying you.

 

[GamePlan]

I never really liked going there only for the purpose of meeting girls.

I dont mean to spoil this piece of advice, but I think everybody who's doing an approach journal in order to overcome their social phobia should be excluded from such a statement. Otherwise, Id be sitting at home go out once or twice a week with friends, which would probably be less useful to me than going out every day to another city for a couple of hours ONLY in order to work on my approaching issues. That being said I think there really is a difference between people who already do the whole approaching thing as opposed to people like myself who have to build their way up.

 

[mintxx]

sh|t man, just today I was at the mall in Eddie Bauer and this saleslady, it seems like there's a different one every week - they probably don't make much, a tall blonde about 34, was all in my dressing room trying to hand me more clothes and open my door pushing more clothes on me. When you're with a sales associate like that it's very easy to neg and show her that you don't want that because of this, be very decisive in your selection, and if she shows you this say, "I don't like that" and "no" and use her name a lot in conversation, you know hers before she knows yours. A lot of them have low self-esteem and are bored. Plus, she's already seen you half-naked, the older ones will especially be peeping. "Will you steam these shirts before I buy them?" Make them jump through your hoops before you buy.????? If you've got your act together, your look is set, then gaming the employees at the mall should not be a problem. If you look like a needy little desparate rat then you'll have problem before you even get started.

But yeah, you've gotta reframe the qualifying when it occurs as her qualifying you.

Mate these people are paid to talk to you... you're living in some kind of fantasy land...

 

[KneghtRyder]

Hmmm.....i never face those kind of problems. maybe because i usually direct approach girls at the mall and that's my reason i go up to her, there is nothing left for her to be suspicious of. i also agree that u need to be relax when u approach her.

Agreed.. SMILE...Look happy ..jolly and be very light in your conversational topics

 

[Tha Realnezz]

How about waiting for smile from her..?Seems more logical to me and it is more effective..

 

[Bonhomme]

It's really pretty simple: you smile at her, and if she smiles back, you just casually go up to her and say something like "hey, what's up?" and let her jabber away. If she doesn't smile back, just move along. Nothing complicated.

Once you get a little non-verbal communication going, your approach has been "warmed up." So there you have it.

If you look good or even have an interesting look and carry yourself in a good way, plenty of 'em will smile back.

 

[penkitten]

Don't miss this one fellows; some simple advice is pretty profound. A woman is something that comes along with a meaningful and purpose-filled life.

1million + points

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Tha Realnezz and Bonhomme...
very good advice....at first...try to get eye contact from her and a smile...if she looks away quick to the side with a disinterested look...doubt its interest

but if she looks down shyly or heck looks down and smiles or holds that gae for a second(why would a girl give that much effort to return a gaze if she's wnodering why ur looking at her?) then she has some form of interest...and then go up to her.

but if u can't get eye contact from her wherever ur at, then i would just go for it anyways. some girls sometimes try to hide that they're looking at u to not be caught. ;-)

 

[Go getta]

I used to say that and I rarley met chicks any other way.You have to look for them....

yea dude i agree. that advice may sound good and forfilling on paper, but in real life it's not very applicable. i get alot more chicks when i go out looking for them AND enjoying myself in the process.

you dont go to the store to have fun with friends. you go to get food!
same with girls. honestly, what guy only goes to the club to chill with his friends?

 

[COD]

FORGET ALL THOSE SO CALLED ADVICE........you already said it best. Make the date right then and there......if she is worthy........after a drink/lunch....then get her digits......if not....at least you ate.

M

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

"how can I trust you"

" your a stranger"


THEY KNOW nothing about your SOCIAL value or whether your lying or not , so its very tough...
even though you couild be making 100K a year..
I've said before "you should get to know me, then you won't be a stranger"

"I can't prove it, but i am the safest guy around"

I finally decided the best SOLUTION to this iS TO HAVE OUR FIRST DATE RIGHT THEN AND THERE GO UP TO THE FOOD COURT AND DO IT NOW...dont convince her, just lead her

1. Actually they do know alot about you. They are not totally ignorant. Based on the way you look, how you act, how you talk, your approach, the woman has gained a pretty good bit of information about you, before she has actually gotten to know you. Women form whats called a "1st impression" about you when they first see you and when you approach them. Their 1st impression is actually pretty accurate.

2. Theres no need to have a date right then and now to convince her how you really are. She already formed a 1st impression about you, and its pretty accurate (and in her mind, its perfectly accurate, and she will act on this perception). As she starts talking with you if you get that far, her beleif about you is getting updated as she learns more about you based on how you act etc., and she is forming an even more accurate impression about you. in fact, during the 1st 3 seconds a woman sees you, she has pretty much already made up her mind about if shes willing to sleep with you or not.

If shes a very good looking woman(meaning shallow with high standards), than this 1st 3 second decision she made is primarily based on how physically attractive you are. So theres really no point in trying to convince you on what you are "really like" if she already thinks your not good looking to her.

3. If a woman is ever talking to you and saying things to you like "how can I trust you" or "youre a stranger", then chances are she already knows she doesnt want to sleep with you. Shes not interested in you at all and is putting up resistance.This means you just need to leave on go on to the next woman.

Usually, when a woman is interested in you, shes very open and friendly to you. ie If you approach a girl with a friendly "hi" who is interested in you (she thinks youre cute), chances are youll get a friendly "hi" back and if you continue to talk with her, shell be very friendly and open to contintue to talk to you, almost as if you already know eachother. now this isnt always they case, sometimes she's shy or feels akward about some stranger approaching her even if she likes you. But usually, if shes comfortable talking with people, and she likes you, shell be very friendly towards you, and will be resistant if she doesnt like you.

4. Remember, cold approaching is a numbers game. You approach on girl, if she acts resistant, move on to the next one, YOU ARE NOT HER TYPE, and therefore dont stand a chance with her. so move on. you really have no chance with her. your odds are better if you move on to a new woman.

It really helps if you know how to talk with strangers. most people have a hard time talking with strangers in general, not just women. Others are very good, and can strike up a conversation with anyone and "make a friend" almost anywhere. This is the kind of behavior one needs if he is to be successful in cold approaching.

Oh, and lets not forget how good looking you are strongly influences weither or not you are "her type" and if shell be open to you or not. So take care of yourself and strive to improve your looks.