I was having an interesting conversation with a stunner HB friend of mine the other night…
She is currently seeing a guy that she initially broke up with her last boyfriend for. He played a beautiful attraction-based game to get her in the first place… a bit of a bad boy, challenging, didn’t care what people thought of him, reasonably athletic, etc. Well since the initial hook up (perhaps 3 months ago) she has mucked around on him a couple times. Talking to her she has confided that he has used the dreaded “L” word, and that he’d be absolutely broken if she hooked up with anyone else.
My guess… he felt her slipping and used what amounted to emotional blackmail to try and keep her. She admits that she although she feels pressured she also feels guilty now that he’s used that “L” word so she can’t ditch him… yet. Then again she doesn’t want a serious boyfriend and had always told herself that at 18, why would she want one? (haha love backwards rationalization) I actually laughed at her when she told me this… I give them 3 weeks…
This is nothing new to anyone who actually understands the material on here.
But here’s the interesting thing… I gave my honest opinion on the situation: “After the whole excitement of the initial attraction you’ve realized that his value is nothing compared to yours. Look at it this way… you’re a very talented athlete, clever, and one of the ‘golden children’ of the community. He is, well, none of those things… he’s not a bad guy, it’s just his value doesn’t measure up. It would be hard for a girl to respect a man whose value is lower than hers. And if you don’t respect him… are you really gonna keep him around?” Her answer: “OMG you’re sooo right”
So here’s the point of that little story…You cannot expect to keep a girl if her perceived value of you is lower than her perceived value of herself…
I’m going to repeat that: YOU CANNOT EXPECT TO KEEP A GIRL IF HER PERCEIVED VALUE OF YOU IS LOWER THAN HER PERCEIVED VALUE OF HERSELF.
You can attract them, you can f**k them, but if you want to keep her around you’d better have some solid value to back things up because tactics such as ‘challenge’, ‘negs’, ‘c/f’ etc. only work for so long before the smoke-screen wears off… Hell, even the much-vaunted ‘charisma’ has a finite lifespan – though I surmise that people who are truly ‘charismatic’ have perceived value in the stratosphere anyway.
This is why the absolute key to success with women is to have success with your life. Unwavering belief in yourself and your abilities is good, unwavering belief that others see you as you see yourself is better. But add concrete results (results that people can see) and unwavering BELIEF becomes unwavering KNOWLEDGE. And that is the key to REAL value, it’s not how you see yourself, it’s how others’ see you. Confidence and real value is a dynamic combination… (so long as you’re not an arrogant jack*ss)
Don’t forget though that values’ change. What is important to us now may not be important tomorrow. That’s why self-improvement should be an ongoing process. Think of it this way: if an HB values the fact that her boyfriend is rich do you think that particular value will still be important to her if she won $10 million in a lottery? If he happens to be butt-ugly and a social leper how long do you think she’s going to stick around? Extreme example I know, but illustrates the point.
Again, this is nothing new but I think some guys fail to understand the significance of value, which is a product of real success. They take the easy path and search for tactics in order to get the girl. They improve their ‘game.’ They do the ****y/funny routine. They get her realizing what a great, fun, guy they are. They get her chasing. They slam her a couple times a week. Then they wonder why it all turns to s**t three months down the track. Having a tight game WILL get you laid, no question. But having tight game combined with high value will get you whatever you desire from a woman.
She is currently seeing a guy that she initially broke up with her last boyfriend for. He played a beautiful attraction-based game to get her in the first place… a bit of a bad boy, challenging, didn’t care what people thought of him, reasonably athletic, etc. Well since the initial hook up (perhaps 3 months ago) she has mucked around on him a couple times. Talking to her she has confided that he has used the dreaded “L” word, and that he’d be absolutely broken if she hooked up with anyone else.
My guess… he felt her slipping and used what amounted to emotional blackmail to try and keep her. She admits that she although she feels pressured she also feels guilty now that he’s used that “L” word so she can’t ditch him… yet. Then again she doesn’t want a serious boyfriend and had always told herself that at 18, why would she want one? (haha love backwards rationalization) I actually laughed at her when she told me this… I give them 3 weeks…
This is nothing new to anyone who actually understands the material on here.
But here’s the interesting thing… I gave my honest opinion on the situation: “After the whole excitement of the initial attraction you’ve realized that his value is nothing compared to yours. Look at it this way… you’re a very talented athlete, clever, and one of the ‘golden children’ of the community. He is, well, none of those things… he’s not a bad guy, it’s just his value doesn’t measure up. It would be hard for a girl to respect a man whose value is lower than hers. And if you don’t respect him… are you really gonna keep him around?” Her answer: “OMG you’re sooo right”
So here’s the point of that little story…You cannot expect to keep a girl if her perceived value of you is lower than her perceived value of herself…
I’m going to repeat that: YOU CANNOT EXPECT TO KEEP A GIRL IF HER PERCEIVED VALUE OF YOU IS LOWER THAN HER PERCEIVED VALUE OF HERSELF.
You can attract them, you can f**k them, but if you want to keep her around you’d better have some solid value to back things up because tactics such as ‘challenge’, ‘negs’, ‘c/f’ etc. only work for so long before the smoke-screen wears off… Hell, even the much-vaunted ‘charisma’ has a finite lifespan – though I surmise that people who are truly ‘charismatic’ have perceived value in the stratosphere anyway.
This is why the absolute key to success with women is to have success with your life. Unwavering belief in yourself and your abilities is good, unwavering belief that others see you as you see yourself is better. But add concrete results (results that people can see) and unwavering BELIEF becomes unwavering KNOWLEDGE. And that is the key to REAL value, it’s not how you see yourself, it’s how others’ see you. Confidence and real value is a dynamic combination… (so long as you’re not an arrogant jack*ss)
Don’t forget though that values’ change. What is important to us now may not be important tomorrow. That’s why self-improvement should be an ongoing process. Think of it this way: if an HB values the fact that her boyfriend is rich do you think that particular value will still be important to her if she won $10 million in a lottery? If he happens to be butt-ugly and a social leper how long do you think she’s going to stick around? Extreme example I know, but illustrates the point.
Again, this is nothing new but I think some guys fail to understand the significance of value, which is a product of real success. They take the easy path and search for tactics in order to get the girl. They improve their ‘game.’ They do the ****y/funny routine. They get her realizing what a great, fun, guy they are. They get her chasing. They slam her a couple times a week. Then they wonder why it all turns to s**t three months down the track. Having a tight game WILL get you laid, no question. But having tight game combined with high value will get you whatever you desire from a woman.