Hi Gents,
I'm not too well known here, but I thought it would be a good idea to see what you guys are up to since this is one of the communities premier boards. I'm a good buddy of Shezz's and if he posts here, I post here too! Without further adue, here's a paste of a post I made a couple of days back about having an honest frame as apposed to learning how to "trick people".
One of my all time favourite books is Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. In which he states both from experience as a psychiatrist and from personal revelation that honesty is the best policy for our sanity. There are three levels of honesty. The first is simply sharing the facts or the details. This for many is too difficult, and 99% of us hide *something* about us from the world. Yet when we share it a process begins.
The process is first dealing with the fear of telling someone. This fear will bottle up and affect our lives and relationships with other people. No matter how self assured we are, we need other people in our lives. Those relationships are strained if we are holding back their potential with a lie.. When we finally build the courage to tell someone we have to deal with their hurt and our potential embarrassment. Yet when the dust settles we become a new person, more robust, more bullet proof. We now have no Achilles heel that can be clipped easily to bring us down. We have accepted our mistake, been HONEST about it and LEARNED from it.
That is merely the first level of honesty. True emotional honesty is the second level, where you share and connect with a person on a level beyond mere words. This is essential for any LTR where two people are to connect and a greater sense than Eros. With emotional honesty you are releasing not just how you feel, but your very motivations and frustrations. You are opening your mind to scrutiny, you are leaving your mind behind and admitting the chemicals in your brain and your emotions often transcend your conscious mind. You accept your complexity, you accept who you REALLY are. I have been at the level with a small number of people in my life and it is exhilarating, the freedom that is created knowing you are LOVED, you are TRUSTED and ADORED for everything you are. We too often try to show our best selves instead of our actual self.
The third level of honesty comes when you can achieve both 1 and 2 regularly with everyone you meet. This is beyond me at this point in my life but I have seen the power of honesty and I recommend it. This is who I am, this is my frame and its who girls meet for the first time.
I'm not too well known here, but I thought it would be a good idea to see what you guys are up to since this is one of the communities premier boards. I'm a good buddy of Shezz's and if he posts here, I post here too! Without further adue, here's a paste of a post I made a couple of days back about having an honest frame as apposed to learning how to "trick people".
One of my all time favourite books is Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. In which he states both from experience as a psychiatrist and from personal revelation that honesty is the best policy for our sanity. There are three levels of honesty. The first is simply sharing the facts or the details. This for many is too difficult, and 99% of us hide *something* about us from the world. Yet when we share it a process begins.
The process is first dealing with the fear of telling someone. This fear will bottle up and affect our lives and relationships with other people. No matter how self assured we are, we need other people in our lives. Those relationships are strained if we are holding back their potential with a lie.. When we finally build the courage to tell someone we have to deal with their hurt and our potential embarrassment. Yet when the dust settles we become a new person, more robust, more bullet proof. We now have no Achilles heel that can be clipped easily to bring us down. We have accepted our mistake, been HONEST about it and LEARNED from it.
That is merely the first level of honesty. True emotional honesty is the second level, where you share and connect with a person on a level beyond mere words. This is essential for any LTR where two people are to connect and a greater sense than Eros. With emotional honesty you are releasing not just how you feel, but your very motivations and frustrations. You are opening your mind to scrutiny, you are leaving your mind behind and admitting the chemicals in your brain and your emotions often transcend your conscious mind. You accept your complexity, you accept who you REALLY are. I have been at the level with a small number of people in my life and it is exhilarating, the freedom that is created knowing you are LOVED, you are TRUSTED and ADORED for everything you are. We too often try to show our best selves instead of our actual self.
The third level of honesty comes when you can achieve both 1 and 2 regularly with everyone you meet. This is beyond me at this point in my life but I have seen the power of honesty and I recommend it. This is who I am, this is my frame and its who girls meet for the first time.
But being honest doesn't mean being stupid, so no one flame me.