the post breakup game

[siph]

Okay i just got out of a LTR - 1 year. I feel like i loved the girl, but unfortunately treated her like trash and cheated and she worshipped the ground i walk on. So i recently dumped her so i could get this horrible relationship over with. While she was perfect in almost every respect, she just wasnt a hot girl. I mean, once she dated me she dyed her hair blonde and joined a sorority, but that still wasnt cutting it in my mind at the time. once we broke up she started seeing another dude of my same culture/ethnicity, which represents maybe 50 kids in a uni of 20k. She explained how he was just like me and she was moving on. i was like wtf i honestly expected her to wait around while I hooked up with other girls and then decided to come back to her. so i told her i wanted her back, but now she apparently has strong feelings for this dude. wtf hes basically a ****ty version of me except hes more focused on his studies, what a douche. so now i need to get her back. the problem is we have such bad history, but when i think about it, shes the only girl i want to be with. but now she wants space to grow and basically explore this relationship which stemmed from him being similar to me.

any suggestions on how to fix this? i can treat this girl right, i just need to get her back to me. the problem is that he is really nice guy and i think after a year of my **** she wont leave him purely because he puts her on a pedestal. im soo pissed too none of this would have happened, if i didnt get all ****y and think i could go jock a bunch of hotter girls, while my good girl waited behind for me.

and dont judge too harshely iv made mistakes, but im past all the immature **** i put her through. i just dont want to lose her to this ****. The worst part about this is that she was really special and unique at first, now shes just like generic and acts like every other sorority girl and thats all everyone else sees.

go ahead with all the comments, i need some perspective

 

[Finch]

You're going to have to drop this girl man, at least for the time being. I know that isn't what you want to hear at all. I know from experience because I did the exact same **** that you did. I was with this girl for about a year or so, felt that I could do better and subconsciously started treating her like ****. Eventually I broke up with her and decided that I needed to move on.

Well she did the same thing your girl did.. she found a lame version of me (a real lame version I might add), and that was that. I tried to get her back, but she was drawn to the safer bet with the lame guy and I turned into a total AFC trying to get her back. I ****ed up big time on this one.

The thing I have realized is that I can never get her back anytime soon. I screwed up too much and she's already moved on to this guy. She's been with him for quite some time now. Her and I are completely over, despite the fact that I have sever one-its for this girl.

You need to learn from your mistakes, figure out what you are truly looking for, re-construct your game, and go back out onto the field and find some new girls.

It's going to take some time, but you'll be able to do it. Right now I would drop complete contact with your ex and put her aside. You might have a chance with her later on, but that chance isn't now. If you think there is a chance with her, then you're going to want her to initiate any "let's get back together" talk. In the meantime focus on you. Keep yourself busy, improve all aspects of your life, and truly MAKE yourself the CATCH.

 

[johnnyrem]

My response would be you're getting what you deserve, and I don't blame her one bit for giving up on you. At least you realize it now, and that's what makes you want her again.

Trouble is, if you did get her back, you'll see all the same faults with her that you saw before.

So, the question is, do you want a super hot chick or one like her? Have you had enough hot chicks to realize that they're often a disaster in a relationship? I have, and they are usually more trouble than they're worth.

Congratulations on wising up and realizing what you lost. Try to find another like her, because this one is gone and you'll just make an ass of yourself trying to get her back. It will be an opportunity for her to treat you like you treated her (crappy), and if she is human she won't be able to resist getting even.

Move on.

 

[cave dweller]

a dude..........

Hey,

She has found someone new and does not give a sh1t about you, anymore.

She is now an ex........

You need to forget her and move on........

It didn't work then and it won't work now.........

cave dweller

 

[siph]

finch - awesome reply man, i totally see it. me and my bud calculated it, its over a 1 in a million odds that she would pick another kid of my ethnic background at our school.

johnnyrem - yeah i guess i got what i deserved, I didnt realize it until the second we broke up tons of guys started to calmour over her.

I guess the only upside is she picked the lame version of me - the kid isnt as handsome, hes not from as good a family, and hes not nearly as good with the girls in general. The only thing he has on me is that he treats her like a princess and studies his ass off. Im sure i deserve this, its just like now I want her back

She said she wants to continue having wednesday dinners - we used to meet with a big group of mixed friends, but it was more of her friends, i kind of think i should go to just keep things casual and keep us friendly and still talking so that when she bores of this kids ass kissing, im there to take her back or if i tire of her **** i can always just tell her about my new girlfriends lol.
do you guys think once a week is cool as far as thats concerned or should i cut it off hard, i mean a year is a long time and she is still real close w/ me. and explain your reasoning as this is a touchy topic.

allright thanks guys, keep the advice coming

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Wanting a girl to return to you after you have disrespected her is lame - you are just upset because she moved forward with her life without any hurt from your dismissal and absence!! You obviously do not have anything better to occupy your time!!

 

[Wyldfire]

You blew it...

When you find a quality person you shouldn't treat them like crap. You won't get her back. The fact that she moved on very quickly is a sure sign that other guys see her as a high quality girl. She can pick from all these guys, so why would she want to go back to someone who treated her like crap? She's not going to want to, and you need to accept it, learn from your mistake and not repeat it.

 

[Trance]

Usher knows it best

I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

You see it's burnin' for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
I really wanna work it out
But I don't think you're gonna change-e
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurtin' baby, I ain't happy baby
Cuz there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that its true Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta Let it burn

Saying things I ain't supposed to
Got somebody else but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same
find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladys tell me do you understand?
And all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my boo-ooh
She's been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, umpteen hours
Im'a be burnin' till you return

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that its through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (cry)

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

so many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return



Mind specially this:

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that its true Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta Let it burn

 

[siph]

yeah i get it guys, thanks a lot for your help

this is the one that got away, ill stay friendly, but wont harbor any hopes or secret desires, i still think she will come back asking for me to take her, but hey we'll see, i have another girl who has been showing high interest i guess ill just move on and let it be.

 

[Luveno]

It seems as if you don't really like her. You just feel worthless that this girl that you used to date is dating a lesser version of you. It makes you feel inferior because you've realized her standards are low.

 

[S0LID]

Re: a dude..........

Originally posted by cave dweller
Hey,

She has found someone new and does not give a sh1t about you, anymore.

She is now an ex........

You need to forget her and move on........

It didn't work then and it won't work now.........

cave dweller

Anti Dump

When we think of someone from our past (unless something extreme happened), in time we only remember the gd points.

Your in a situation now which I call "a fvcked up head", THIS DOESN'T LAST FOREVER, hang in there mate.

 

[siph]

heh thanks for all the help guys, looking back it was a weird situation that was ****ing with me. i dunno serious she is about mini me but i think ill keep my distance for a bit.