The Perfect Mindset(s)

[sookie]

There is lots of flotsam floating around this site about mindsets, and much useful information too. Instead of ragging on each other, we should make a compilation of our various viewpoints on the ideal mindset (ie how one should approach game) and one's outlook on life.

Don't make this into a stupid war of words on an internet messageboard; make it something useful. Let every person post his viewpoint on the "mindset" and if you see something you disagree with, SAY WHY.

We need to harness the power of the internet in order to refine ourselves instead of futher delineating down the path of intellectual narcissism.

Have at it.

 

[tmpgstx]

I used to worry about mindset and would get myself in a confident frame of mind before talking with someone i'm really attracted to as to remain relaxed and not tense.

It worked for what i needed but at the same time isn't good confidence. It's drummed up, artificial and fleeting.

The best way i've found is to program your subconscious so your conscious mind doesn't need any 'pep' talks or this sort of thing.

Your subconscious affects everything, from body language to voice tone and your conscious thoughts. It's a more substantial long term form of confidence and comes across as such.

I can no longer worry about winning or losing (getting dates or rejections). I have somewhat of a perfectionist mentality (could come from programming too) in that i need feedback before making a next move. This can be good, but alot of the time you won't get the feedback you're looking for (or when you're looking for it). In essence, it's beta testing someone to see how they are. That's what dating is for and every trivial move should not be analyzed before dating as there is not enough information to begin with about the person (only through friends). Over-analyzing is good in problem-solving but is a disease of the mind when it comes to the opposite sex.

It's ok to look for some 'red-flags' as these are probably more obvious than anything, but leave it to the other person to let you find out more about them in what they like and dislike etc.

For me (maybe my standards and expectations are high) but i rarely find a girl i'm crazy about, and when i do - know it is few and far between so i'm more focused on getting with her than anyone. I think we all have this mindset to some degree as we all want to get and be with the object our affection.

To sum up this little rant, let go what you cannot control. Be yourself. Once knowing you have good confidence, being yourself becomes easier around those girls you like alot, because your insecurities are supressed or rooted out, allowing you to be more expressive with your personality.

I do recommend subliminal confidence mp3s. They're cheap to download and make a difference. It's like affirmations but for the sub-conscious mind.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Okay, here's one--not quite as long as the others, but I've just learned it recently:

1.) See an opportunity
2.) Take it

I was walking down my building the other day, when this girl that just started working there was passing by--I stopped her, and talked with her. Smiles and eye contact had led up to this point.

I'm not going to go into our convo because I did that in a previous post, but she politely rejected me (if there is such a thing), and I still have a chance.

The thing is no matter what, I saw an opportunity, and I took it. If I had never taken that opportunity, I would never know where I stand with her.

So, I will reitterate (sp?):

1.) See an opportunity
2.) Take it

and that is the only mindset you will ever need.

 

[Grey Fox]

You have to care, but not that much. Everything else is an issue of style.

-Grey Fox

 

[kev me723]

I am 16 and for the first 15 years of my life I got stomped all over by women.

It took me 1 year of solid practice, but now my mindsite is basically this: B*tches ain't sh*t and I can have whichever one I want.

It hasn't failed me yet, and I know it never will. It makes you do all the right things. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE women, that's why I do what I do. But you can't trust them to do anything. I keep it fun and casual at almost all times, and DON'T make a big deal out of anything. It's careless in a way, but it's great. I don't have to think about anything, and I pretty much just keep everything positive in my favor.