"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Pec's Affects

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Gettinthere

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Not sure if this is the place to ask this but here goes.

Lately I have been mowing my yard with my shirt off. Now I consider myself pretty fit. I am 6-3 210 biceps arms when pumped are 15 inches and I have a flat stomach and a good set of pec's in my opinion but I'm not beefy.

This may sound wierd but I have always had this negative body image thing about myself and I would never ever take my shirt off in public or outside even at a pool or lake simply because of acne scars and comments made to me years ago that I look better with my shirt or cloths on though at the time I was a skinny 165.

Not sure what is up with me lately maybe just had enough and don't give a darn anymore what people think but I decided to get some sun while mowing my yard so I took my shirt off.

Let me tell you there were all sorts of thoughts going through my mind some of fear and thoughts telling me to put my shirt back on people will laugh at me kind of stuff as neighbors drove by etc., and one neighbor just happened to come outside while I was out there though shes married and then her 18 year old daughter happened to come out and drive by while my back was toward her.

Now though I was doing this to get some sun what does this tell the ladies or anyone for that fact when a man has his shirt off and fit? It may mean nothing but being this is a first for me I just wondeer. Does this show confidence or does it show being macho or showing off one thing I don't want but coming off Alpha is OK?

Any insight would be appreciated.

Thanks

Gettinthere
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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J

johnnyrem

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Surely you can't be this clueless.

It means whatever the other person thinks it means. It means whatever you think it means.

Simple enough?

You're thinking too damn much. Do whatever you want to do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. Take off your shirt if you want to get a tan.

Maybe your neighbor thinks you're gay. Maybe your neighbor's daughter thinks you're hot, or ugly. Or whatever. You know how you rate, appearance-wise, so give this issue its proper importance (which is none at all) and go on to more relevant issues.

Sheesh.
 
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Nzo

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I think i kind of know what your asking. Ive thought about this to its almost a lose-lose situation haha. If the guys in really good shape some people (guys included) will be like oh hes vain hes a show off and sh*t. And if your out of shape its like what a lazy slob.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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T

TedJustAdmitIt

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There's no need for pics...if those uphill gardeners who posted above want to look at some mangina then there's plenty on the web.

As far as what those women were thinking when you had your shirt off...who cares?

Do what YOU want to and live your life the way YOU want to live it.

'Nuff said.
 
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Gettinthere

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Thanks all for the replies.

For sure I do think to much about what others think this has been a big problem with me to the point of social phopia<spelling and where it comes from. Maybe to many rejections, comments made in the past and believing them but it will consume your life to the point you don't live but hunger for that one day your free from this curse and it's a bi*ch and not easy to overcome which is where my screen name comes from I am (gettinthere) little by little and hope to learn from the pro's here. For I believe if I can get a handle on how to handle dating and learning the in's and out's of approaching women that would be a step in the right direction in my opinion.

Again thanks I like this place.

Gettinthere
 
S

Silverback82

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Nzo said:
I think i kind of know what your asking. Ive thought about this to its almost a lose-lose situation haha. If the guys in really good shape some people (guys included) will be like oh hes vain hes a show off and sh*t. And if your out of shape its like what a lazy slob.
Click to expand...
exactly
 
S

Socialreject

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Hey i know how you feel...

I have loads of acne scars on my back (some big ones two) and until i hit about 21 i would never EVER take my shirt off in public... even if i was almost melting from heat.

It was just one of those things i hadn't dealt with yet. Now i just take my shirt off whenever i damn well want to. If it's to hot for my taste, i'll take it off, if i wanna get some suntan i'll take it off. If i'm driving to the beach i'll just put on my swimshort at home, then drive to the beach with just the swimshort on.

I really don't care what people "might think" anymore. I know when i look in the mirror i see a good looking guy, and eventhough the skin on my back might not be so pretty anymore, the framework is pretty damn good and so is the tan.

And trust me NOONE cares. I've had lots of women tell me i look good while i had my shirt off. Basides.. scars are cool ;-)
 
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Gettinthere

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Socialreject said:
Hey i know how you feel...

I have loads of acne scars on my back (some big ones two) and until i hit about 21 i would never EVER take my shirt off in public... even if i was almost melting from heat.

It was just one of those things i hadn't dealt with yet. Now i just take my shirt off whenever i damn well want to. If it's to hot for my taste, i'll take it off, if i wanna get some suntan i'll take it off. If i'm driving to the beach i'll just put on my swimshort at home, then drive to the beach with just the swimshort on.

I really don't care what people "might think" anymore. I know when i look in the mirror i see a good looking guy, and eventhough the skin on my back might not be so pretty anymore, the framework is pretty damn good and so is the tan.

And trust me NOONE cares. I've had lots of women tell me i look good while i had my shirt off. Basides.. scars are cool ;-)
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Cool! I have a load of them I should call myself Scarback.

I also have a razor scar on my face right out from my lip I am scared all to hell I just need to get the internal scars handled.

Thanks Socialreject, your reply helps a million for you know what it's like. And scars are cool? Man that in itself is an esteem booster shot I think I'll be alright:up: .

Gettinthere
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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S

Serialized3

Master Don Juan
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I like that alpha "I live in my own reality" attitude! And a good sense of humor! Keep it up man!
 
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Gettinthere

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Serialized3 said:
I like that alpha "I live in my own reality" attitude! And a good sense of humor! Keep it up man!
Click to expand...
Your alright in my book, your cool man.

Gettinthere
 
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