The patented 85

[Knight's Cross]

I discovered something a long time ago in dating. It became known as my patented 85 minute rule. No woman EVER gets more than 85 minutes of my time on each of the first 3 dates. On occasion as I'm leaving on date 1, I make mention of it (not overtly, but as a glance at watch/ clock whatever and mention 85) You have now framed her. She instantly feels that you are in control and that she has to quailify.

If you have a hint prior that she may not be quality, DO NOT MENTION IT PRIOR. You may need to bail at 30 minutes if she's no fun in a one on one situation. If you got the impression that you may have chemistry it's ok to mention the 85 rule during the date. Again: Instant frame and her feeling she has to qualify. Each situation is different, and individual results may vary. I learned that 60 minutes will usually look like you are not interested. 2 hours is TOO LONG.

PT Barnum was a DJ when he mentioned that you always want to leave them wanting more. That's where 85 works for you. It establishes time as a commodity that she has to work for, and it keeps you in control.

Seems obvious but many guys totally screw this one up. They either go too long, too short, or do not establish that their TIME is VALUABLE.

KC

 

[lookyoung]

I disagree with your rules. I think its better to be natural and see how the date plays out. You could have the girl come over your house and bang her on the first date.:yes: Most dates I go on I spend over 4 hours with the girl if its a nighttime date. If its a day date such as coffee with a girl I met of the net than usually I will end it within an hour.

 

[Interceptor]

I would think that some women would think that your some obsessive control freak.
85 minutes?

I guess if it works for you.
But to me seems too constrained and overly OCD.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Woah there LookYoung. I said it was "my rule". I found it works for "me". If you have a method that works for you, then by all means use what works for you.
To each his own, but having a system has often kept me from wasting time, which is the one commodity in this world that you cannot get more of.
Later on after she makes 3+ dates and I find her fun, and high interest level in me, THEN she gets more time.

Interceptor, I have always mentioned it in a ****y funny moment, if it does come up you say it in a joking manner, but you STICK TO IT. I know it may come across as OCD, everytime I have used it, it has WORKED and the lady will try harder to keep my attention or bust past 85. At 85 you smoothly walk them to their car, or place you started the date, close and walk away.

Even then I find it useful to cut some later dates back to 60 minutes or less. The IDEA here is that if you GIVE them everything UP FRONT, you are not establsihing frame. You are basically saying that she can have her cake and eat it.

KC

 

[Mr.Positive]

Maybe you are not dating quality women?

I've found, that if I look at my watch and 'time' the date I'm on, the date is just not going anywhere. IE, I'm just not interested in her enough.

The best dates are when time doesn't matter, you have great chemistry, and end up in the sack together.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Mr. P,
I thought the idea on dates 1-3 is to identify if she is quality? I've never been able to gauge exact quality prior to a date.
Nope, I don't look at my watch, and 85 is a roundabout. May be 78, 89 whatever. The impression is that your time is value. Look at it this way. If you had fun, if she had fun, then you WILL GO TO DATE 2. My idea of date 1 is screening. Sure you can have a good time, and that leads to future dates.

I guess I need to frame something here. I'm usually not trying to get a woman in the sack on date 1. Thats not where I'm at in life. I have done that, and for ME it's not what I'm looking for. So MY system is targeted at a different pace/ end result. To qualify a woman for a LTR.

KC

 

[Colossus]

if it works for you, then power to ya, but I dont find it advantageous putting time limits on my dates. I'm a play it by ear kind of guy.

And what's the significance of 85 minutes? Why not 90? or 100?

 

[Interceptor]

I agree with not "giving away the farm."
You can be attracted and be fun and charming, and flirtatious with a woman you desire. But you want to be aware of your own deeper more preciuos inner resources, and how you spend them.
If you give away everything, especially is she has not EARNED it, you can be shooting yourself in the foot. Even if she does like you .

She will sense that youre desperate to be accomodating , appeasing, and seeking her approval, and are no challenge. In other words, she will sens that you dont have a mature manner of handling your resources in the dating scene.
So you will kill some attraction there.


I also think it is helpful to establish a sense of a time frame constraint.
But some guys do it differently than others.
And I also think that a mature man shoudl know how to cut it short mid date if it is not going well.
Deep down this is all a matter of how to handle Emotional Investment.
If a man does not have a good Emotional Investment gauge switch, then he may need something artificial to help him deal with.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Collossus,
Good question. I field tested and found 85 got the best result for me. It used to be the 60, then 90. For some reason 85 just seemed to work. 60 sounds generic. It's 1 hour. 90, also sounded generic. One was too short, one too long. 85 (or for that matter 83, 86 whatever you choose) Will make a woman curious. Remember 1 weapon we have in our arsenal is that a womans imagination is our ally. You do not tell her how you came up with this. You do not expound on it. She will automatically think that she is in competition with other women that YOU choose to spend time with.
Believe me when I tell you that I have had women literally PLEAD to get their 85. It's all about letting her think she has to qualify.

We all know that women have a strategy. This is one way to disarm it. YOU have your OWN STRATEGY.

I agree with you Interceptor, your gauges should tell you that when a date is going off course you need to smoothly disengage. The 85 works for mostly high IL good running dates. Again it's for the initial screening process, and for me it's used with LTR in mind.

KC

 

[Latinoman]

I don't date...I seduce. Then date...later (or another day).

There is no time limit when you seduce a woman.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I guess I need to frame something here. I'm usually not trying to get a woman in the sack on date 1. Thats not where I'm at in life. I have done that, and for ME it's not what I'm looking for. So MY system is targeted at a different pace/ end result. To qualify a woman for a LTR.

KC

I hear ya KC, my goal isn't to get a woman in the sack on day 1 too, and the same, to qualify a woman for a LTR.

However, by setting a time limit, you could be really limiting the possiblities. It's important not to have patterns, nor expectations, when it comes to women.

End the date before she wants it to end, and if the connection keeps getting stronger with her as time goes by, run with it!

Don't make your dates job interviews, well, at least don't let her feel that. If you tell her "you have 85 minutes with me, that's it", you sound like a serial dater/interviewer and she will put her guard up.

To get to know her as well as you can in a short timeframe, that guard needs to be down. It's ok to relax on the rules and get her comfortable too.

I still think the best dates, are the ones you have a deeper animal attraction/connection with the gal, and just throw caution to the wind, and seize the moment.

 

[STR8UP]

This is a sound principal, but I would be covert about it.

I wouldn't say a damn thing about a time limit, I would just set it and follow through without making it obvious.

If a chick is having a good time and you cut it early you are putting $$$ in the bank. If you VOCALIZE it, she's gonna think you have some sort of agenda and it's gonna work against you.

 

[Bonhomme]

Each to their own, I suppose.

The ones that turned out best for me usually involved spending quite a bit more time than that on the 1st date ... like overnight.

 

[Knight's Cross]

As I mentioned, every situation is different, and this is a LTR screening tactic. Not a get them into the bedroom on date 1 move. It's more geared to see if a woman is rigid/ non flexible. If she huffs and puffs about it you have a close minded uphill battle ahead. If she gets a sparkle in her eye and smiles wanting to get over the 85 minutes you have a winner. I have seen it go both ways.

As any ****y Funny drive it is all in the DELIVERY. When used correctly it has yielded great results for me.
I hear what you are saying STR8UP, but often times if I deliver it correctly in a overt but fun tone it has yielded more effect than covert use.

Guy's I'm done defending the 85. If you want to give it a try go for it. If you find other means to filter for a quality woman to have fun with, by all means you use what works. I just wanted to share a system that I use to frame. Again this one is field tested and has yielded some great results for ME.
KC

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I'm not sure about rigid time constraints, but I would say the 3 Strikes rule should always be a policy. If any one plate has not become sufficiently intimate with you over the course of 3 dates, she doesn't have an appropriate IL in you. Nothing convinces me more of a scarcity/sniper mentality than the guy who lingers around vacillating about IL or mixed signals or LJBF rejections for 6, 8, 10 weeks on ONE woman.

When you're properly spinning plates and you both consciously and subconsciously recognize that you have many other real and viable options, time limits aren't such an operative. No guy is going to adhere to any time limit if the girl he's seeing is the ONLY girl he's seeing and he hasn't gotten laid in 6 months.

 

[Mr.Positive]

KC, you should change it to the patented 135 rule..

No chicks over 135 lbs.

Or the patented 85/135 strike. Bring a scale and a watch on that first date. 85 minutes and 135 lbs or less....

Now THAT would be a filter.