"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
The Party Bible
- Thread starter Spade
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
eaglez1177
Master Don Juan
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- Feb 24, 2008
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Holy sh*t I was at a crazy party last night.
There was about 60 people or so there, and we had a sh*tload of booze and weed (everyone was so fvcked up). We had thrown about five parties in a row at the same house for five nights in a row, so the entire place was TRASHED.
At about 10:15, the cops are knocking on the front door, cuz apparently someone called 911, so there was firetrucks, ambulances, and cops all over the place. EVERYONE at the party just fvcking bolted, including myself when I sprinted out onto the porch and jumped off the deck (and I think i really messed up my knee while doing so cuz it was quite the drop).
There were so many kids running away, it was legit like a pack of deer just fvcking scattering all over the place. On top of that, it was pouring rain, and everyone was sooo messed up. Unfortunately, a bunch of people were like stuck all the way back behind the house, cuz there was sewage and **** everywhere and a little river thing. Some kids were up to their knees in mud and god knows what.
I managed to run all the way into a few other peoples backyards, and met up with this random kid and some other girl. We wound up running about two miles all the way to some fvckin middle school, where I went through my entire contact list and called everyone I could for a ride home (thankfully my one friend came through and helped me).
There was about 60 people or so there, and we had a sh*tload of booze and weed (everyone was so fvcked up). We had thrown about five parties in a row at the same house for five nights in a row, so the entire place was TRASHED.
At about 10:15, the cops are knocking on the front door, cuz apparently someone called 911, so there was firetrucks, ambulances, and cops all over the place. EVERYONE at the party just fvcking bolted, including myself when I sprinted out onto the porch and jumped off the deck (and I think i really messed up my knee while doing so cuz it was quite the drop).
There were so many kids running away, it was legit like a pack of deer just fvcking scattering all over the place. On top of that, it was pouring rain, and everyone was sooo messed up. Unfortunately, a bunch of people were like stuck all the way back behind the house, cuz there was sewage and **** everywhere and a little river thing. Some kids were up to their knees in mud and god knows what.
I managed to run all the way into a few other peoples backyards, and met up with this random kid and some other girl. We wound up running about two miles all the way to some fvckin middle school, where I went through my entire contact list and called everyone I could for a ride home (thankfully my one friend came through and helped me).
eaglez1177
Master Don Juan
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Hahahahaha I have two friends that would've done the SAME EXACT THING.real2 said:- 8 hour high
Toronto has an event called the freedom festival. Basically, 28,000+ people get together in the heart of Toronto, and start assembly plants for joints, bring their 8 foot bongs, bring their 10 kg of weed, etc etc, set up tents, and little zone, get stuck in trees, dance to jungle-style techno and get COMPLETELY blazed for the entire 24 hours
So my first time at this festival, I decide to walk around take some pix, and of course buy some weed cookies. I've never done weed cookies. I go up to the seller, and ask for 4 cookies ($5/cookie), but ofcourse I only have a $100 bill on me :crazy: She brings me 4 cookies sealed in plastic, and gives back 5 $20 bills
I take 2... 10 minutes later nothing. I take 2 more, feeling the munchies... nothing. So I say **** it, I down all 8 cookies
2 hours later, it hits. That was probably the longest day of my life, which I can hardly remember... long story short...
At around 1am, I'm walking off the subway thinking where the **** am I?
I end up running into a friend from a couple months back who is completely wasted off her ass. She invites me to a party her friends are having. We get to this party, and behold, it's one of the most awkward things I've ever seen.
Inside were 3 dudes at a poker table giving eachother the dirtiest looks you could imagine, and running around was this Uber-gay dude who kept saying he wanted to stick his c*ck into his buddies mouths! On the other hand, one dude kept trying to molest this other girl at the party who I don't even know, and the 3 poker dudes are just tryin to tell the uber-gay fella to **** off.
Uber-gay kept telling one of his buddies he wanted to give him a *******, cmon cmon, please let me give you a *******, please please. :crazy: Eventually, poker buddies get SOOOO wasted that they pick up uber-gay and start throwing him against the walls, doing wrestling moves on him, and absolutely kicking the **** out of uber-gay while he is laughing his ass off in enjoyment.
In the background, Mr. Molester keeps trying to **** one of the girls, and she keeps telling him to **** off, while all this is happening, my female friend gives me the most sexual looks imagineable
After 3 failed attempts at giving *******s to his buddies, Uber-gay ends up saying goodbye to his buddies as they leave the house awkwardly and in remorse. Female friend latches onto my arm, says goodbye to ubergay and we leave. 1 minute later, Mr. Molester is following the other girl out the door, heading the in the same direction. 5 minutes later, we say goodbye to the girl, and watch as Mr. Molester continues to follow her :nono:
Girl and I get to outside her condo, and I look at her, ask "am I coming up?", gives me a sexed up look, and says "prolly not". I don't react, I simply say "Ok, cya later", and walk off into the night
8 cookies gave me a fked up adventure
Royal Flush
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I agree bro 100%, we shud have this on the main page so evryone can write bout the crazy nights theyve had.Spade said:
Btw last night i almost got my **** suked by a girl with braces. Ryersons a fuked up place.
Wats up guys, check it...
Drunk, Beat up, and Arrested:
My Freshman year of College I did the normal weekend things that Freshman do. Binge Drink, Try to get laid, Puke, then... drink some more. One Saturday some buddies from my dorm and I were all drinking in my room. I had already managed about a 18 pack during the football game that afternoon. We were in my room had a Beer Bong and really started to hit it hard as we played some cards and Madden. We then decided it would be a good idea to throw shots of vodka on top of the beers we were bonging so we did not taste the Vodka. I dont know how much I had to drink, but it was a ton, I was crazy drunk. We decided to head out to the local Bar/Dance club scene. My Buddy drove and we got to the bar. This is a huge club with a big dance floor, blaring music and lotsa people. I get to the door of the bar and get a wristband as an adult (thanks to a fake) I am only 19. We immediately make it over to the bar and I grab a Double Jack and Coke. Me and my buddies drink a few of these as we sit at a table looking at the women dancing. This is where things start to get a little Fuzzy for me. We make it out to the dance floor and I am half talking / yelling over the music with a girl I am dancing with. Things are going sweet. Then it happened, I look over and one of my buddies that I came with is face to face with another guy. They are yelling at each other. my buddy is the drunk that always fights... I make my way over to them. Just as I got to him I remember the guy said "Go ahead and hit me!" My buddy cracked this guy and they start fighting right on the dance floor. I grab my buddy to get him the hell out of there and I get pushed and punched by another guy. I just saw stars and could feel I was bleeding immediately. I am confused as hell, people are flying everywhere and about 7 bouncers grab me and my buddy and practically carry us to the front door, out into the street we went, grudgingly and drunkinly yelling about injustice. Luckily, Right as a Police officer was going by. I think for a second about running, but I know I wont get far in this condition. Good thing I didnt because a bike cop was coming from the other way. After a few minutes the officer had seen and heard enough of us. I get handcuffed and we get told we are under arrest for Disorderly Conduct and Public Intox... On the way to Jail I feel my mouth fill up with saliva and I get sick all over the back of the car... Talk about a long night in the drunk tank. I dry heaved beside a bunch of random dudes for like 3 hours till I was released.
Drunk, Beat up, and Arrested:
My Freshman year of College I did the normal weekend things that Freshman do. Binge Drink, Try to get laid, Puke, then... drink some more. One Saturday some buddies from my dorm and I were all drinking in my room. I had already managed about a 18 pack during the football game that afternoon. We were in my room had a Beer Bong and really started to hit it hard as we played some cards and Madden. We then decided it would be a good idea to throw shots of vodka on top of the beers we were bonging so we did not taste the Vodka. I dont know how much I had to drink, but it was a ton, I was crazy drunk. We decided to head out to the local Bar/Dance club scene. My Buddy drove and we got to the bar. This is a huge club with a big dance floor, blaring music and lotsa people. I get to the door of the bar and get a wristband as an adult (thanks to a fake) I am only 19. We immediately make it over to the bar and I grab a Double Jack and Coke. Me and my buddies drink a few of these as we sit at a table looking at the women dancing. This is where things start to get a little Fuzzy for me. We make it out to the dance floor and I am half talking / yelling over the music with a girl I am dancing with. Things are going sweet. Then it happened, I look over and one of my buddies that I came with is face to face with another guy. They are yelling at each other. my buddy is the drunk that always fights... I make my way over to them. Just as I got to him I remember the guy said "Go ahead and hit me!" My buddy cracked this guy and they start fighting right on the dance floor. I grab my buddy to get him the hell out of there and I get pushed and punched by another guy. I just saw stars and could feel I was bleeding immediately. I am confused as hell, people are flying everywhere and about 7 bouncers grab me and my buddy and practically carry us to the front door, out into the street we went, grudgingly and drunkinly yelling about injustice. Luckily, Right as a Police officer was going by. I think for a second about running, but I know I wont get far in this condition. Good thing I didnt because a bike cop was coming from the other way. After a few minutes the officer had seen and heard enough of us. I get handcuffed and we get told we are under arrest for Disorderly Conduct and Public Intox... On the way to Jail I feel my mouth fill up with saliva and I get sick all over the back of the car... Talk about a long night in the drunk tank. I dry heaved beside a bunch of random dudes for like 3 hours till I was released.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Wats up guys, check it...
Drunk, Beat up, and Arrested:
My Freshman year of College I did the normal weekend things that Freshman do. Binge Drink, Try to get laid, Puke, then... drink some more. One Saturday some buddies from my dorm and I were all drinking in my room. I had already managed about a 18 pack during the football game that afternoon. We were in my room had a Beer Bong and really started to hit it hard as we played some cards and Madden. We then decided it would be a good idea to throw shots of vodka on top of the beers we were bonging so we did not taste the Vodka. I dont know how much I had to drink, but it was a ton, I was crazy drunk. We decided to head out to the local Bar/Dance club scene. My Buddy drove and we got to the bar. This is a huge club with a big dance floor, blaring music and lotsa people. I get to the door of the bar and get a wristband as an adult (thanks to a fake) I am only 19. We immediately make it over to the bar and I grab a Double Jack and Coke. Me and my buddies drink a few of these as we sit at a table looking at the women dancing. This is where things start to get a little Fuzzy for me. We make it out to the dance floor and I am half talking / yelling over the music with a girl I am dancing with. Things are going sweet. Then it happened, I look over and one of my buddies that I came with is face to face with another guy. They are yelling at each other. my buddy is the drunk that always fights... I make my way over to them. Just as I got to him I remember the guy said "Go ahead and hit me!" My buddy cracked this guy and they start fighting right on the dance floor. I grab my buddy to get him the hell out of there and I get pushed and punched by another guy. I just saw stars and could feel I was bleeding immediately. I am confused as hell, people are flying everywhere and about 7 bouncers grab me and my buddy and practically carry us to the front door, out into the street we went, grudgingly and drunkinly yelling about injustice. Luckily, Right as a Police officer was going by. I think for a second about running, but I know I wont get far in this condition. Good thing I didnt because a bike cop was coming from the other way. After a few minutes the officer had seen and heard enough of us. I get handcuffed and we get told we are under arrest for Disorderly Conduct and Public Intox... On the way to Jail I feel my mouth fill up with saliva and I get sick all over the back of the car... Talk about a long night in the drunk tank. I dry heaved beside a bunch of random dudes for like 3 hours till I was released.
Drunk, Beat up, and Arrested:
My Freshman year of College I did the normal weekend things that Freshman do. Binge Drink, Try to get laid, Puke, then... drink some more. One Saturday some buddies from my dorm and I were all drinking in my room. I had already managed about a 18 pack during the football game that afternoon. We were in my room had a Beer Bong and really started to hit it hard as we played some cards and Madden. We then decided it would be a good idea to throw shots of vodka on top of the beers we were bonging so we did not taste the Vodka. I dont know how much I had to drink, but it was a ton, I was crazy drunk. We decided to head out to the local Bar/Dance club scene. My Buddy drove and we got to the bar. This is a huge club with a big dance floor, blaring music and lotsa people. I get to the door of the bar and get a wristband as an adult (thanks to a fake) I am only 19. We immediately make it over to the bar and I grab a Double Jack and Coke. Me and my buddies drink a few of these as we sit at a table looking at the women dancing. This is where things start to get a little Fuzzy for me. We make it out to the dance floor and I am half talking / yelling over the music with a girl I am dancing with. Things are going sweet. Then it happened, I look over and one of my buddies that I came with is face to face with another guy. They are yelling at each other. my buddy is the drunk that always fights... I make my way over to them. Just as I got to him I remember the guy said "Go ahead and hit me!" My buddy cracked this guy and they start fighting right on the dance floor. I grab my buddy to get him the hell out of there and I get pushed and punched by another guy. I just saw stars and could feel I was bleeding immediately. I am confused as hell, people are flying everywhere and about 7 bouncers grab me and my buddy and practically carry us to the front door, out into the street we went, grudgingly and drunkinly yelling about injustice. Luckily, Right as a Police officer was going by. I think for a second about running, but I know I wont get far in this condition. Good thing I didnt because a bike cop was coming from the other way. After a few minutes the officer had seen and heard enough of us. I get handcuffed and we get told we are under arrest for Disorderly Conduct and Public Intox... On the way to Jail I feel my mouth fill up with saliva and I get sick all over the back of the car... Talk about a long night in the drunk tank. I dry heaved beside a bunch of random dudes for like 3 hours till I was released.
eaglez1177
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
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Lol damnn that sux man. This thread hasnt been brought back up in a while, so ill bring up a story that happened about two months ago.
We were celebrating my best friends birthday, and as you could imagine things were prolly gonna get crazy, which they did.
Well im not gonna write a long ass story, but instead ill write down some keypoints, simply cuz this is one of the sloppiest and drunkest stories I have from HS.
-We immediately pound shots of whiskey, and I lose count of how many I had. I then play a few games of beer pong.
-Me and my friend were hooking up with these two different chicks at the same time in this kid's basement closet. For some reason I tried to pick up the chick I was with while kissin her, and wound up falling over with her in the closet and breaking a chair.
-I come out, with no shirt on, and this is pretty much where I cant remember anything else, so ill just list a few points from what our designated driver told me what really happened.
----------------
-After the closet incident, apparently my best friend tried to bear hug me for some reason, and the two of us wind up falling on top of the ping pong table, breaking two legs off and pretty much bending the table nearly in half
-Then at some point apparently I hooked up with the girl from before in the bathroom, and wind up knocking a glass vase onto the floor, shattering it.
-I then attempt to play a game of rumpelstilskin with two of my other friends, and in case anyone doesnt know what that is, heres a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXQIZXFcS5k&feature=related
-As you can imagine that went pretty badly, and I wind up falling back onto a sliding closet door, knocking it off the hinges and breaking part of the wood.
-Then we all walk back to my friends house next door at about 2am, and on the way my one friend slips on ice, dragging two others down with him, and one person nearly broke their elbow.
-My friends make drunken munchies food, but im too wasted to eat, and apparently from what im told I ate half a chewie bar, and then passed out cold on the floor for about an hour and a half.
-I wake up, and we all go upstairs into my friends living room to sleep on his couch, and I then proceed to vomit in massive amounts all over his parents carpet. I somehow clean it up, and claim it will be fine, until the next morning the entire living room wreaks of vomit.
----------------
So yea luckily im much better with this kind of stuff now and I dont get as sloppy as I did that night. Ive learned my lesson after breaking so much stuff in my friends house, and still feel bad about it months later.
We were celebrating my best friends birthday, and as you could imagine things were prolly gonna get crazy, which they did.
Well im not gonna write a long ass story, but instead ill write down some keypoints, simply cuz this is one of the sloppiest and drunkest stories I have from HS.
-We immediately pound shots of whiskey, and I lose count of how many I had. I then play a few games of beer pong.
-Me and my friend were hooking up with these two different chicks at the same time in this kid's basement closet. For some reason I tried to pick up the chick I was with while kissin her, and wound up falling over with her in the closet and breaking a chair.
-I come out, with no shirt on, and this is pretty much where I cant remember anything else, so ill just list a few points from what our designated driver told me what really happened.
----------------
-After the closet incident, apparently my best friend tried to bear hug me for some reason, and the two of us wind up falling on top of the ping pong table, breaking two legs off and pretty much bending the table nearly in half
-Then at some point apparently I hooked up with the girl from before in the bathroom, and wind up knocking a glass vase onto the floor, shattering it.
-I then attempt to play a game of rumpelstilskin with two of my other friends, and in case anyone doesnt know what that is, heres a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXQIZXFcS5k&feature=related
-As you can imagine that went pretty badly, and I wind up falling back onto a sliding closet door, knocking it off the hinges and breaking part of the wood.
-Then we all walk back to my friends house next door at about 2am, and on the way my one friend slips on ice, dragging two others down with him, and one person nearly broke their elbow.
-My friends make drunken munchies food, but im too wasted to eat, and apparently from what im told I ate half a chewie bar, and then passed out cold on the floor for about an hour and a half.
-I wake up, and we all go upstairs into my friends living room to sleep on his couch, and I then proceed to vomit in massive amounts all over his parents carpet. I somehow clean it up, and claim it will be fine, until the next morning the entire living room wreaks of vomit.
----------------
So yea luckily im much better with this kind of stuff now and I dont get as sloppy as I did that night. Ive learned my lesson after breaking so much stuff in my friends house, and still feel bad about it months later.
War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
This happened during high school. Not a success story but I always look back at it and laugh. I was at my friend's party and was vibing with a girl real well. We were both pretty drunk, started making out, and we look for a room to smash in. The first room we went in, there was literally a naked girl on the bed who had nothing on besides her panties. We leave. The next room there was a girl crying her eyes out with her friends trying to comfort her, and then one of the girls who I know in the room goes up to me and starts complaining how some guy keeps on hitting on her. We leave that room. We just ended up sitting on the couches, drunk talking for like 10 minutes, and then my friend calls me over that my bestfriend was at his car throwing up. I go outside leaving the girl inside at the party taking care of my friend, and some random 6'5 thugged out black dude parks beside us and gets out of the car. Me being drunk I ask him if he's looking for my friend the one throwing the party, he nods his head and goes inside the house. Couple minutes later he leaves, I go inside taking my drunk friend with me and everyone is freaking out like "WHO THE FVCK WAS THAT GUY?!?!"
Supposedly he just stood there, talked to some random guy, and then just left. Couple minutes later, that girl I was gonna hook up with breaks the sink inside the bathroom because she leaned on it too hard. I go inside to try and take care of her, and literally just moments later, a huge fight breaks out. Some guy tried taking advantage of that same naked girl that was lying on the bed and the boyfriend was heated. Fight is broken up, party ends, that girl left, and because my friend that I was taking care of drove me there, I had to sleep over. I slept in the living room with a couple of other people. Two hours later I was woken up by some girl crying. I quickly stood up, and the girl wasn't crying, she was moaning. One of my friends was eating out a girl. It seems like everyone else but us left. For some reason, even though I was CLEARLY up and awake, they continued to go at it. Confused, I laid back down still drunk off my ass while they have sex right in front of me. An hour later, they're still at it, and I cough. The girl asks me "Uhh WAB are you awake?" I said "Yeah...I've been awake for the past hour...."
Crazy party.
Supposedly he just stood there, talked to some random guy, and then just left. Couple minutes later, that girl I was gonna hook up with breaks the sink inside the bathroom because she leaned on it too hard. I go inside to try and take care of her, and literally just moments later, a huge fight breaks out. Some guy tried taking advantage of that same naked girl that was lying on the bed and the boyfriend was heated. Fight is broken up, party ends, that girl left, and because my friend that I was taking care of drove me there, I had to sleep over. I slept in the living room with a couple of other people. Two hours later I was woken up by some girl crying. I quickly stood up, and the girl wasn't crying, she was moaning. One of my friends was eating out a girl. It seems like everyone else but us left. For some reason, even though I was CLEARLY up and awake, they continued to go at it. Confused, I laid back down still drunk off my ass while they have sex right in front of me. An hour later, they're still at it, and I cough. The girl asks me "Uhh WAB are you awake?" I said "Yeah...I've been awake for the past hour...."
Crazy party.
konnerbelly
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The christian Bible is a compulation of many stories from multiple authors over a large period of time. Therefore it is also multiple languages.I'm not sure what part of this you guys think is fake. The girls pretending to be ignorant Christian nutjobs or the Indian girl pretending to be Hindu. I'll go for the latter, but I've been around enough Evangelists and dumb little girls to feel that the way those two acted was spot on. I recently worked with a grown woman who acted about the same.
eaglez1177
Master Don Juan
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^Huh lol?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
A kid got half the party to watch him eyeball some vodka. Of course when he does this he freaks out because how much it burned and he like starts spazing out. Funny as hell and must of been super embarrassing for him. Oh and by the way he now has permanent damage in his right eye. So kids, don't eyeball vodka.