"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The other side of the picture

eko

Don Juan
Joined
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Has anyone else taken the player thing way too far, and played and manipulated people's emotions?

I'll tell my story. I changed completely. Never kissed a girl till I was 18. I gained 30 lbs, I got an unbelievable amount of confidence. I enjoy being myself. But was I truly being myself? I got a kind of high off this power that girls were attracted to me. Some of them told me they fell for me because of my eyes. I'm a genuinely good soul, I think, so people tell me, maybe because I feel guilty about this, and you can almost instantly tell what kind of person is by looking into their eyes. Anyway, I took the player thing way too far. Of course, spinning plates is good and stuff, and dating in general so you can weed out the ones you like or don't like. Anyway, I didn't do much weeding out, I just kept a roster of girls.

I tell girls STRAIGHT UP that I'm not looking for a relationship, and that we are strictly friends. I make sure they are ok with it, and I tell them there are other girls in the picture. Well I believe you shouldn't be having sex with more than one person, and I haven't been having sex with multiple girls, but, the girls fell for me, hard. I broke 2 girls hearts in a row just because I'm honest. I wasn't harsh about it but I told them that I'm not as into them as they are into me once they told me they were really into me. I know I played them because I knew from the very beginning they weren't girls I could fall for, and I should have had the foresight to see they would fall for me. Now I feel terrible, guilty, and saddened that I did this to nice, good people that don't really deserve to be hurt. I feel like I manipulated emotions, with some of the techniques and all the stuff I legitimately changed about myself to make myself more attractive. Maybe that wasn't the real me.

So just don't go after some girls just because you know you CAN get them unless they are just shallow party girls or whatever that get used. And if you really do find someone special, work on developing some foresight so you don't let something good go.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
2,554
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TN
You're right; it is silly to date girls that you know you're not interested in. But if you're dating girls that have a chance in your mind and you eventually disqualify them, that's their problem.
 

Ace of Flames

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
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Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
You aren't responsible for other people's emotions. Not people you don't care about, anyway. And if you care about EVERYONE, you have problems.

So, if these girls are so emotional as to totally breakdown over you, a guy they've just been going out with casually, then that's their deal. Move on.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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