The only thing worse than having no women...

[apprenticedj]

Is having only one woman!! Oneitis is very, very real. I thought I knew better but I made the fatal error of messing around while in monk mode. I was supposed to be off the market for the rest of the year while I worked on myself.

Now I find myself stressed, depressed and anxious about a chick that I know I can do much better than. I'm over analyzing every text and I can feel the neediness oozing from my pores!

I'm trying my best to limit contact but fellas I need some help. In all honesty, the situation is fine as far as she is concerned but I feel like a total nut internally. I want to reframe this so I can continue hooking up. Any tips to quiet the needy freak in my mind?

 

[cfdagola]

if things are going well why are you in so much turmoil?

I would be schmoozing, banging and watching netflix with my lady if i had one with no care in the world. instead i'm sorta just doing homework and preparing to start my new job as a graphic designer for a university.

kinda boring. all i'm doing is making money with nobody and nothing to spend it on.

 

[foreverace87]

You are in a trance mode that I was in exactly a week ago. GET OUT OF IT! Break the trance.

Get up , go for a run. Get to the gym. Find SOMETHING to do or you are gonna go crazy. Once you start doing that, you are going to get out of that hypnosis and back to your reality. Live your life in YOUR reality, not in the woman's.

 

[TheCWord]

Hey apprentice. Sounds like you're catching your mistakes before they turn fatal. You're doing fine.

If you know that you're starting to feel a little needy and oneitis-y, then you also know what you gotta do, right? You just need your boys on here to write it to you?

k, so you're going to pull back a bit. You're not going to be cold and a **** because you obviously like this girl, but you're going to mentally move on from this girl even if that's not what you're doing in reality. You're going to put the phone away, let her initiate texts for a while. You're going to fake it 'til you make it, basically. And while you're busy faking it you're going to look for other things to keep you busy so that it won't be fake anymore. If you have to date other girls, okay, but you don't have to... Remember, when we say spin plates, a "plate" could be a new hobby, something career-related, etc.

You also know what happens next, right? She starts doing more of the chasing once she senses you're not chasing her. Once she starts doing that, your anxiety is going to be zapped away because you're going to be filled with the confidence that comes along with knowing a girl is crazy about you. Plus, she'll be having fun because she gets that high off of chasing you, wondering how you feel about her, etc.

Pretty basic stuff and I know you know this. You'll have a sh*tty few days ahead as you pull back and wonder why she's not chasing you. But even if she doesn't go after you and this one fades away, you'll have that confidence of knowing you can pull back and slow yourself down when you get caught up in old habits. And that confidence will carry over to the next girl.

 

[apprenticedj]

This is what I love about SS, the support here is immense. Thank you gentlemen for helping ease my anxious mind.

It's true that we can learn so much about women, game, being a DJ etc but we're all still susceptible to making rookie mistakes.

@TheCWord: I'm going to refer back to your post when my resolve weakens. After reading it I was able to take a step back and laugh at myself.

You guys are the best.

 

[European-DJ]

Apprenticedj:

You are in the exact same state as I, but it is funny how we are always capable of giving others advice, but not always being able to see it for ourself,

Do as TheCWord states, but remember, do not go too cold, if you legitimately interested in this girl.

Whenever she sends you a text, read it, take a deep breath, and put the phone away - do something else, and when the text pops up in your mind once again, then answer.

When you wonder too much/think too much about her, do something that you truly enjoy (I usually call one of my friends, and have a great laugh, then i completely loose sight of the "neediness" towards the girl for a time!).

Keep busy! The girl is filling the void in your mind, fill it with something else, something interesting, a hobby/an assignment/a task, and then she wont be able to have such a large space in your mind.

I hope it makes sense, i am currently in class, so this was a fast answer!

kinda boring. all i'm doing is making money with nobody and nothing to spend it on.

You sound exactly as my bud from Class, "nobody and nothing to spend it on", common dude, seriously?

 

[TheCWord]

This is what I love about SS, the support here is immense. Thank you gentlemen for helping ease my anxious mind.

It's true that we can learn so much about women, game, being a DJ etc but we're all still susceptible to making rookie mistakes.

@TheCWord: I'm going to refer back to your post when my resolve weakens. After reading it I was able to take a step back and laugh at myself.

You guys are the best.

We allllll get there, man. That's why I'm posting around here again, because when I'm unable to give myself the advice I know I need, I can give it to you then read it back to myself. Helps me. Helps you. And some day, you're going to have to do the same for me

 

[hudpes]

Once you imagine a pink elephant and begin saying to yourself "stop thinking about the pink elephant" you'll only be thinking about the pink elephant more. I think the best solution is to let those thoughts be (ok, so there's an elephant and it's pink) and focus hard on something that will get you to or close to a state of flow. Boredom is your worst enemy here and anything that will allow your mind to wander is not a friend.

 

[SoSuave666]

Well having no women is only a bad thing if you depend on women for satisfaction and your mental state. Also, if you want to play this game, the only thing worse than having no women would be "staying with the wrong woman." Having one woman isn't necessarily bad. You can have one woman and still have options, but not pursue them.

 

[uadialej]

Get up , go for a run. Get to the gym. Find SOMETHING to do or you are gonna go crazy. Once you start doing that, you are going to get out of that hypnosis and back to your reality. Live your life in YOUR reality, not in the woman's.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXP3sRnkd-8

 

[Bingo-Player]

Oh man i know where your coming from my long term oneitis just split with her bf ive been a shambles for the last week

As far as shes concerned there isn’t a problem , but ive been thinking up scenarios that will never happen lol

Ive had to come to terms with the fact that she just isn’t as in to me as im into her

After a couple of weeks il be laughing over it but it hurts like hell atm

You just gotta stop checking up on her leave her go and like the others say get yourself busy

you never know you may bump into her somewhere in few months and you may get pussvy for not being a needy AFC

 

[apprenticedj]

Oh man i know where your coming from my long term oneitis just split with her bf ive been a shambles for the last week

As far as shes concerned there isn’t a problem , but ive been thinking up scenarios that will never happen lol

Ive had to come to terms with the fact that she just isn’t as in to me as im into her

After a couple of weeks il be laughing over it but it hurts like hell atm

You just gotta stop checking up on her leave her go and like the others say get yourself busy

you never know you may bump into her somewhere in few months and you may get pussvy for not being a needy AFC

Thanks for the reply brother. It's ironic, I have plenty of success with women, I know all the rules yet I'm driving myself crazy!

We've been hanging out and hooking up occasionally. Just Saturday night she stayed over and, not to toot my own horn, I gave her the most intense, shaking orgasm she's ever had. So I know she'll back for more but for some reason I'm sweating bullets over every text. I asked her out for this week but she couldn't due to going out of town. No big deal, people have plans but I'm sitting here thinking weird, doom and gloom about some BS that doesn't exist.

The words of encouragement have helped so much. I'm going to hang way back, still be cordial with replys and get busy on my current project. 2015: The Year of the Apprentice!!!! :rockon: