The only cure for a woman is another woman

[AlexDP]

You show your OCD in every thread he creates. Why do you give a crap if we know if he is a narcissist or not ? even if he is , and even if he is stuck on a stripper , at least hes helpful and gives advice , all you do is post about him ....
and talk crap

A lot of things on these forums regarding personality disorders are among the most important things you could learn in life.

 

[bigneil]

Why (do) so many men define how successful they are through women they have dated and slept with? Seriously is that the best achievement a vastly majority of men can muster?

Do you want to hear about my computer graphics patent? Or the half a million readers I have as a health writer under an alias? No, this is a dating forum, and the goal here is for men to sleep with the hottest women possible. That's what I managed to do, so I shared details - to the best of my knowledge - on how others can achieve the same goal.

 

[TonyBaloney]

You are best just remembering her as she once was because now she's older, more bitter, with more miles on the odometer and a longer list of your faults in mind.

Could we chang this please to ~

Theres no point remembering her as she once was because now she's older, more bitter, with more miles on the odometer and a longer list of your faults in mind

 

[perseverance]

Do you want to hear about my computer graphics patent? Or the half a million readers I have as a health writer under an alias? No, this is a dating forum, and the goal here is for men to sleep with the hottest women possible. That's what I managed to do, so I shared details - to the best of my knowledge - on how others can achieve the same goal.

Fair enough, BigNeil, I can't argue with that.

However you still give off the impression that scoring with lots of chicks means a great deal to you. You seem to take this whole part of your life seriously. I'm the opposite in terms I am not bothered if I am a hit with the ladies or not and I am not taking things as seriously as others, so it would appear we have two different perspectives of this game, the serious one and the not so serious one.

I suppose one day I will see things through the same looking glass as you, but that day will be a sad one, it will mean that I will be just like every other man.

 

[perseverance]

Could we chang this please to ~

Theres no point remembering her as she once was because now she's older, more bitter, with more miles on the odometer and a longer list of your faults in mind

I concur.

Why focus on the past, when you should be building for the future?

 

[MisterD]

Fair enough, BigNeil, I can't argue with that.

However you still give off the impression that scoring with lots of chicks means a great deal to you. You seem to take this whole part of your life seriously. I'm the opposite in terms I am not bothered if I am a hit with the ladies or not and I am not taking things as seriously as others, so it would appear we have two different perspectives of this game, the serious one and the not so serious one.

I suppose one day I will see things through the same looking glass as you, but that day will be a sad one, it will mean that I will be just like every other man.

I'm of the same belief. There's some men on here that make women their whole life. I mean they take days out of the week to approach random women on the street in the hopes they'll land some numbers. That's their entire day bro. They're not doing much else with their life. Their successes and failures are solely based on how many women they can attract. That's not gonna help you do anything in this world. There has to be goals/interests outside of women.

I understand we're all here for different reasons and whatnot, but I just feel I'd rather just have the tools and knowlege on how to deal with women, so that when I run into one I like, I'll know how to land her/keep her.

But again, this place serves different purposes for different people.

 

[perseverance]

I understand we're all here for different reasons and whatnot, but I just feel I'd rather just have the tools and knowlege on how to deal with women, so that when I run into one I like, I'll know how to land her/keep her.

But again, this place serves different purposes for different people.

Bingo! Now you're a Gentleman with the same perspective as me.

I like this forum because it has taught me so much and I have learned a lot about myself and I have improved so much.

I think before I came to this forum I took the whole "dating, women, relationship" side of my life way too seriously! So since joining this forum and reading post after post about petty stuff that really has no great meaning or relevance in life, I've decided to roll with the punches and just say "to hell with it, I'm just gonna live my life and ensure I have as much fun as possible".

Of course BigNeil's perspective is interesting and it's great that this forum is all encompassing in regards to people, their backgrounds, their experiences and their perspectives. I just think he should lighten up and not beat himself up over things he cannot control which is what you do when you flit from one woman to another when things aren't going the way you anticipated with a specific woman.

 

[bigneil]

You still give off the impression that scoring with lots of chicks means a great deal to you.

Quality versus quantity.

 

[corrector]

If you have an 'absorbing' personality that is fantasy-prone, and that oneitis happened to "click"with something inside that mind, no women in the world can shake it out. That is because parts of that oneitis becomes fused with your own personality, subconcious, etc.. and she's absorbed.

Only time can fix some things. I even have deluded beliefs that if I send an email to a particular oneitis girl that attractive hot women will open up and be friendly with me. When I actually send an email, (knowing full well she will not reply to it), I actually experience a reality-shift. I feel more connected with other hot women, and they just come out of the woodwork and into my life. It's crazy. An email to an oneitis as a good luck charm with other hot women?

(Have not sent an email in over a year). A deluded belief like that shows, despite having been physically intimate with other women, looking at porn images of hot women, etc... there is still some "craziness" still there, even if it's a pin-drop size of madness.

 

[youngmack]

That is because parts of that oneitis becomes fused with your own personality, subconcious, etc.. and she's absorbed.

Scary....After i get over this oneitis i have i will envelope my heart and feelings with the hardest metal i can find

 

[Zerro]

Did anyone ever cure their oneitis without finding another woman?

Yes, and this oneitis was originally the "cure" for a previous one. Went cold-turkey for a while after that.

 

[comic_relief]

how did this post go from constructive debate to flame war?

- comic_relief

 

[Single4Life]

I got over the "love of my life" by thinking the worst of her, and blowing up all the negative things about her in my head. Then, think of the times when she looked physically not attractive, like when she was sick or took a bad picture angle, or had a zit or something. Then think of ONLY those things.

Refuse to think of the good things, or the times she looked beautiful. Ignore those.

Just focus on the worst of her, including physically, and it makes you get over it.

 

[bigneil]

Good point Single4Life.

One thing I did that helped was to find a FB picture where she looked like she had put weight on, and to look at before and after photos. But over time you forget the bad memories and their image tends to crystallize. It's ok to have good memories. Hopefully the same happens to their memories of us.

 

[SgtSplacker]

"Remember men need to be in control of their emotions at all times. You should never allow yourself to feel something that you don't want to feel."

When I wrote this I didn't mean not to love, I meant not to entertain any negative thoughts beyond their usefulness.

The way I consider my mind is a little weird.

I read somewhere that the mind is wired to constantly consider negative thoughts. Why? Because in primitive times we always had to be considering what was going to attack us next so we would be ready. When you see an animal eating they are always looking around for trouble. This is what affects us today. We are still recovering from this primitive instinct. And it's not entirely a bad thing to have, we just have to know that this is, what is actually going on in our minds.

Were all a bit of that freaked out pigeon drinking puddle water on the floor constantly checking his 6.

I don't think that every random thought that comes into my mind is really my personal thoughts. My random thoughts do not reflect my personality and as such need to be managed and directed. YOU must choose whether to entertain these thoughts or not. By allowing yourself to dwell on these negative thoughts you are reinforcing this way of thinking and making it stronger and harder to stop. Remember the brain is flesh and flesh gets better at doing the same things over and over again. Thats what life is all about. You have to choose what you think of and break this trend. This ability is what makes man great, and animals... well... animals.

And hey, all negative thoughts aren't bad either, they teach us lessons when things hurt we learn not to do that again, it gives us drive to succeed. It's good to feel bad sometimes, just don't let it dominate your thoughts. If I feel bad I celebrate it, i'll cry, i'll stay home and order pizza. But there will come a point when I say OK i'm done with this. Shower up, put my good clothes on and go find some new trim to spice up my life a bit. This is what dives me to work out, take salsa lessons, etc.

I know i'm straying into evolution a bit here, and if you are a person of faith you may have issues accepting this. I believe in god, and in theistic evolution also. You cannot deny the proof. I do not subscribe to any religion in particular but I do believe, and that very general faith is what I subscribe to.