The one thing I will NEVER say to a woman.........

[Glassguy]

Is "I'm sorry". It is the fastest way to lose frame, shift the paradigm of power and look beta.

Period.

I know some people's first response will be "But what if you do something wrong and you ARE sorry"? Let me explain....

Part of why I can manage a rotation and control a solid frame comes down to a few things:

1.) I do what I want. End of story. I do what benefits me. If I speak or ACT I have put some type of thought into those words or actions. If I have analyzed the outcome, and I am ok with that outcome (both good and bad), why would I be sorry if a chick doesnt like something that I said or did?

2.) I might down play something in order to smooth it over by saying "I didnt mean it like that" or "Its not what you are making it out to be", "you are taking it the wrong way".

But you will never hear Glassguy say those 2 magical words that instantly kill frame with a woman.

There are endless stories on here about how man does something to p!ss off the woman. The first thing he does say "I'm sorry". Sure that might smooth things over at the time, but over time he is losing frame, crumb by crumb until the woman no longer respects him. You will not prove me wrong on this theory.

If you do something that upsets a woman, own it. You made your decision and her decision on the choice that you made doesnt matter. So long as you have put a little thought in to your decision making and are ok making the decision that best suits your benefit and not hers. Think about that for a second.

When you become a TAKER rather than being a beta GIVER, you are making the choice to do what is ultimately best for you in every sense. When you start out a relationship (GF, FWB, Plate,etc) by doing so, women respect it and they will understand that is who you are.

 

[soulforge]

Fully agreed... You may think to yourself that by saying sorry, you are doing the right thing.. And she will totally appreciate your honesty!

He'll no... That bish will start seeing you as some kinda weak azz beta faggot.

Honestly.. Never say sorry.. Even if you are wrong!! Stick with your guns and keep frame.

Like glass guy said, no harm in smoothing things over... But sorry? Once you say that, she will totally play your azz.

 

[corrector]

Exactly what to say to an ex that broke up with you and suggest trying to work it out again while she already saw 10 other guys while you were pining away on her.

 

[BeExcellent]

The only exception I (as a chick) take to this is when a man has gone too much ass hole on something.

And my ex BF, who generally does not lose frame under any circumstances will own his actions if they were out of line. He’ll say typically, “That’s on me & that wasn’t cool.” He’ll say “I apologize” if there is a legit behavior where an apology is appropriate.

So he rarely says he’s sorry. He will apologize if (and only if) it’s truly warranted.

But. This is not a man who supplicates. He has concrete frame so for him to own his “stuff” doesn’t diminish him, rather it shows his humanity.

But for the usual man who isn’t in command of himself & his frame I agree with Glassguy. You erode yourself saying you’re sorry for silly stuff. Only apologize where it’s legit appropriate or you do weaken your frame. If your apologies are only when truly legit appropriate you will earn respect and you will not erode your frame.

It depends on mindset and how you as a man handle yourself & your business.

 

[sosousage]

"im sorry" and "i love you" i will say i love you to money though

 

[worldknown]

Context is important here. Are we talking LTR or for spinning plates. Depending on the scenario you could be hurting yourself and long term future prospects:

Spinning plates - sure I can buy this

LTR- I don’t see this working in a LTR. If you are under the perception that saying sorry causes you to lose frame then that’s some really clown thinking. Good luck being single for the rest of your life. Plenty of dudes have strong AF frames yet know when to pick and choose their battles. We’re all human, we all make mistakes. No one wants to date an egotistical *******.

What if you ****ed up? Can you still be the most valuable person in a relationship and still say sorry while holding frame? Sure sounds reasonable

Your advice might work for people focused on spinning plates but if you’re running LTR game you’re going to have to be humble sometimes, and that means realizing when you’re wrong.

I laugh when people give advice based on absolutes. My 2 cents

 

[redskinsfan92]

Gotta agree!
When I was a young boy I remember how much I naturally could not bring myself to say sorry.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You know those sitcoms?... you know...
these are the ones where men are finally 'allowed' to get a "men's night out" and they sit around telling each other how much of a man they are toward their wives (but as the TV viewer, we knew that this is not the case).

... or Shakespeare's "Hamlet" ... where there's something about "doth protest[ing] too much?"

Could it be that there are some forum members that personify the above examples.

I'm thinking... yes.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Personally, I freely admit if I’m wrong. After all, denial of the facts doesn't change them. Funny thing is that this seems to pIss women off even more. Because… more than once they've said that I acknowledge my error before they get a chance to rip.

I suppose that if a man is ‘hostage’ to a female’s reaction and/or lacks security within themselves.. then perhaps that would explain a prideful/pretentious type behavior.

If I’m sorry about something, I’m as transparent as with any other topic.

The only similarity that I may have with most of you above.... is that I do not ask for forgiveness.

 

[Roober]

Agreed!

I believe the increase of apologizing stems from the growth of the middle class, where being polite often supercedes having a backbone.

 

[Glassguy]

Wow took you long enough lol. Howd ya figger this out

I figured this out the hard way.....which is the best way because it sticks.

Long ago.......

 

[17 shots]

The most I ever say is "my bad"

 

[xplt]

I figured this out the hard way.....which is the best way because it sticks.

Long ago.......

Me too... apologizing only gave her proof that I was in the wrong. Although I wasn't. Never used that word again since.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I’m going to hard disagree with this. Sorry is an important word when utilizing tactical empathy... a skill one must master to have any time of healthy relationship with other people.

I say sorry often, but the trick is is how and when to say it. I like to use “sorry” when saying no, as it shows a degree of tact. I don’t use sorry ever to apologize. For example:

When a woman asks me something and my answer is no, “sorry I can’t” sounds a lot more empathetic then “no,” but they convey the exact same point and maintain the exact same frame.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Other ways to be empathetic

Of course. This is just an easy tip.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No they do not.
Its not predictable in terms of the under current of replationships.
I just dont do it. Its not worth the frolic into the realm of its madness.

You’re wrong on that. They are the same.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not to your submissive other man.
Maybe to a judge or a superior. Context matters. I believe OP is talking women here

Correct. Regarding women, you’re wrong.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Hahaha you think. Coolio. Be apologetic but be honest and come back and tell us the REAL story when your apologizing to your hot wife. We would all love to hear how your frame holds up.
Goid gawd save us from the fem centric idiots out here.

Reading comprehension is clearly absent. What did I say about apologizing?